Multiples

Identical twins that do not look alike ?

I have 13 week old Identical twin girls...or atleast I was told they were Identical because they shared a placenta. However... they do not look a like at all. Their heads are shaped differently, their ears, one has a lot more hair. They weighed the exact same at birth and have the same blood type. Does anyone else have identical twins that do not look alike? Please tell me about them! Because mine are girls I am worried for the days that they go to school and mean people say things like "so and so is the prettier twin"... because I know it will happen. Please tell me about your identical twins!

Re: Identical twins that do not look alike ?

  • My SILs are identical twins and definitely look different. You can tell they are twins, but you wouldn't mistake one for the other. I asked them about it once and they basically said that as they grew up their bodies/faces changed differently than that their twin's. Though, even in pics when they were really little you can see subtle differences.

    IDK if that helps at all...but they were never differentiated by the 'pretty' twin thing. 

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  • You're the momma! You'll see differences that nobody else sees, because you spend more time staring at their sweet faces than anybody else.

    But, yes, my identical twins don't look much alike. They were preemies and one spent 3 weeks longer in the hospital than his brother, and that time in the hospital crib changed the shape of his head (nicu nurses call it 'toaster head').  Even though there's a 4 lb size difference and the whole head shape difference, people outside our family can't tell who is who.

  • Did the pathologist say it was one placenta or was that how it looked to the doctor at the time of delivery?  I just delivered boy / girl twins last week and the placentas were fused - making it look like one.  So really the only way to know is a DNA test.  

    Good luck!! 

  • i was told that it's hard to tell if they are ID bc of a shared placenta- b/c often the 2 placentas fuse together and look like one... so the only way to truly know if they are ID is to do DNA testing.  A friend of mine recently did it for her girls- and they are indeed ID... she was glad to know -esp if one of them ever got sick with something- they'd know the other would or not- etc... a good thing to know.

    I have friends who are ID and to me look nothing alike- just like they are brothers, but not ID twins... so it does happen. Differences with how they are positioned in the uterus, how their cords are positioned, etc - can make them look somewhat different b/c of nutrients they get, etc.

    My boys are fraternal and i worry about people saying one is more handsome --- people already do it in some ways... they go nuts over Gibby's looks- and not Gray.  Gibby is chunkier, has big blue eyes and more hair... Gray looks like a little old man sort of :)  I know with boys looks aren't as important- but it still hurts.  Though, Gray has more personality and flirts more-so he gets attention that way - i think it will even out.

  • I would hope that people aren't so insensitive that they would say something like that in front of you or your girls, but I'm learning that is not the case in the world of multiples.  I'm expecting twin girls some time in January or February, and the U/S techs have said they see two placentas, but we still won't know for sure until they are born about being ID or not.   I just think it's amazing that there are two little babies at the same time!

    I read a book with Smart-A answers to give to peoples' dumb questions. I've used them a few times and it definitely gets the point across.  People just need to think more before they speak.

  • I've often wondering if other MoM with identicals thought about it so I'm glad I'm not the only one who has.

     We were told our twins were identical as well because of the shared placenta and the thin membrane separating both babies- with that said when they were born I was a bit shock since I found they looked very different at birth.  It seems as they've gotten older they look more and more alike, to ME they look different- one has a longer slimmer face and the other more rounder "chubbier" face, etc...

     My sister had also read that sometime when the egg splits more DNA may go to one twin than the other...don't know if that is 100% fact, but it make sense to me. 

    If someone asks I just tell them that the Dr. said they are- as Goldie mentioned though you would only know 100% if they are with a DNA test.  

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  • You're their mother....I'm sure outsiders probably can't tell them apart.  The identical twins I have known really well never looked alike to me because I knew them so well.  An example is my BILs.  When I first met them I couldn't tell them apart at all and DH always laughed because he said they don't look alike to him.  Now I can't believe they are identical, I know them so well they just look so different to me. 
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  • Mine are very different too. I swear one looks like me and the other my H.
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  • My brothers are twins and they couldn't look any more different.  My mom's placenta fused, making it look like one placenta, but they are definitely fraternal.  One has blonde hair, green eyes and fair skin and the other has brown hair, brown eyes and olive skin.

    After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
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  • My twin sister and I are identical, and most people can tell us apart. Our mom had a tumor on my umbilical cord, so I was (and still am) smaller than my sister.
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  • I worry about that too.  Mine have had a 2-3 lb weight difference since birth, so it's been obvious for me.  I'm worried about one being labeled the "fat" one.

     Of course, you will see the subtle differences that others may not pick up on.  I'm asked all the time how I can tell them apart.  They totally look different to me.

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    Michele

    Madeleine and Lily 10/6/05
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  • THANKS LADIES!!! I know it is shallow that I am worried about those things but I was in high school I hung out with the mean girls and I want to protect my girls from that. I have already had people...even family members talk about Lily's ears because they stick out...they arent big but they stick out...though I think its cute and sweet ...people have greatly hurt and offended me by their comments.

    When I asked the dr if the placenta had fused they told me no...but who knows maybe some day we will pay the money and have the dna testing done.

     

  • Your girls look alike to me :)...but maybe in person I could tell the difference. But I agree one of my girls looks a lot more like my husband the other one looks like me... strange isn't it?
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