1st Trimester

No hand-me-downs?

So now that people know I'm PG, everyone wants to give me their old gear and clothes.  While I do really appreciate this, my inner snob wants all brand new stuff.  Not saying I expect it all as gifts...I'll buy what I need if I don't get for shower gifts.  Is this so bad?  And what do you say to politely decline offers?
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Re: No hand-me-downs?

  • Have you started looking at the prices of stuff? It adds up quick.

    I'd much rather take something used and put that extra money into a high return account, instead of buying something I could have gotten from someone else. (Early college savings!) 

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  • This is why I'm hoping for a boy! Everyone I know has a girl so I'm hoping to avoid the abundance of hand me downs. I'm ok with some hand me downs but it's my first baby! I want SOME new stuff too! :)
  • I'll gladly take hand me downs.

    Baby stuff is expensive, and so long as it isn't broken or stained when I get it I am fine with taking it.

    To be honest, you sound like a brat.

    Just be grateful.

  • I don't think she sounds like a brat. If she were being rude to people who offered it to her then that would be bratty. Just take whats offered and keep it in a box and then pass it along to someone else. You might decide to use some of it and you might not. But at least you are letting others feel like they are helping you out.
  • I REALLY want hand-me-down furniture, strollers, car seats, etc...  Its so expensive.  I dont want hand-me-down clothes.
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  • If I were expecting everything to be given to me, yes, that would be bratty.  I'm more than willing to purchase things myself, I just want to be able to decline offers in the most polite way.

     I'm sure some others feel the same way, whether or not they're willing to admit it.

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  • If you really don't want them tell them to donate them to someone that can use them...

    I have one friend (A) that received bags of hand-me-downs from another close friend (B) - she (A) wanted to dress in trendier, fancier clothes so she used B's hand-me-downs as pj's and as an extra change of clothes if her son spit up or had a really poopy diaper...

    As for strollers, car seats and cribs - those should be new...unless it's from family or a very very close friend...(from what I've heard and read...issues with broken brakes, minor car accidents and other issues)

  • Don't feel bad about it, for my DD I wanted new things, just because as a parent you want to give your child the world and the best!

    Also I'm kind of weird with the whole thing of...who wore this? how many times has it been peed on or puked on? Are they clean people? And it just creaped me out a little. When I did take hand me downs I only accepted them from people I knew very well. There was this lady where I worked that I barely knew and she looked dirty, she kept bringing me all these baby clothes that smelled funny. I'm sorry if it's rude but I declined, I was not about to put that on my child!! Flame away, but I'm weird like that.

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  • image HayleyandMark:
    I don't think she sounds like a brat. If she were being rude to people who offered it to her then that would be bratty. Just take whats offered and keep it in a box and then pass it along to someone else. You might decide to use some of it and you might not. But at least you are letting others feel like they are helping you out.

     That's a good idea.  I'm sure I'd use some clothes here and there during the fast growth months!

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  • image Dreamsicle23:

    If I were expecting everything to be given to me, yes, that would be bratty.  I'm more than willing to purchase things myself, I just want to be able to decline offers in the most polite way.

     I'm sure some others feel the same way, whether or not they're willing to admit it.

    Girl...don't even worry about that comment, you are NOT being a brat, your being a mom who wants to give her child the best! Good for you!!!

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  • I don't think its bratty, I just think its unnecessary. Babies are just going to dirty it right back up again. So I don't see the point. But thats your choice to make Just be honest with them.

     

    And a huge eye roll to the "giving your child the best" comment. Yes, because anyone who uses hand-me-downs isn't.

  • image IrishBrideND:

    I don't think its bratty, I just think its unnecessary. Babies are just going to dirty it right back up again. So I don't see the point. But thats your choice to make Just be honest with them.

     

    And a huge eye roll to the "giving your child the best" comment. Yes, because anyone who uses hand-me-downs isn't.

    Yes 

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  • Oh...and some hand-me-downs are great!!

    I have two mommy friends that shop at Saks Fifth Avenue and buy only brand name and fancy clothes (i.e. $100 jeans for her 8 month old) - I can't WAIT to get those hand-me-downs!! 

    I could never buy that for my kid (because we can't afford that) but, I'd love to let my baby wear it :) 

  • image IrishBrideND:

    I don't think its bratty, I just think its unnecessary. Babies are just going to dirty it right back up again. So I don't see the point. But thats your choice to make Just be honest with them.

     

    And a huge eye roll to the "giving your child the best" comment. Yes, because anyone who uses hand-me-downs isn't.

    I agree!!  Just because I'm willing to use hand-me-downs doesn't mean I don't want the best for my child!

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  • image KatelynRae:
    image IrishBrideND:

    I don't think its bratty, I just think its unnecessary. Babies are just going to dirty it right back up again. So I don't see the point. But thats your choice to make Just be honest with them.

     

    And a huge eye roll to the "giving your child the best" comment. Yes, because anyone who uses hand-me-downs isn't.

    I agree!!  Just because I'm willing to use hand-me-downs doesn't mean I don't want the best for my child!

    Different priorities. I'm not worried about the clothes my infant is going to wear, I'm worried about their education being paid for. 

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  • image IrishBrideND:

    I don't think its bratty, I just think its unnecessary. Babies are just going to dirty it right back up again. So I don't see the point. But thats your choice to make Just be honest with them.

     

    And a huge eye roll to the "giving your child the best" comment. Yes, because anyone who uses hand-me-downs isn't.

    OMG..lol

    I'm not saying that anybody that uses hand-me-downs are less of a parent...you want to give them new things that haven't been used before, or puked on, or pooped on, etc...

    I'm not saying they're not a good mom, or that you don't give them love, or w/e way you took that. As a first time parent you want to give your child new things, and experience all the nice things that come with it, and just enjoy it!

    I guess I should've phrased that differently Indifferent

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  • My kid wears about 90% hand-me-down clothes.  She's the 3rd or 4th kid to be wearing them, but I think that I sooo lucked out.  I'd have less then half the wardrobe for her if I had to buy it all on my own and the quality wouldn't be nearly as good.

     There are plenty of other things to spend the money on baby wise, so if you have the opportunity, take it.  Trust me.  Even if you're not sure you want to use it, a box of backup clothes will really come in handy (especially when you don't feel like doing laundry for the 4th time in a week and need a clean sleeper!)

  • it's okay to want to buy new stuff [i do!!], it's exciting. :) just keep in mind, those new clothes are going to look like hand-me-downs after just a few washes so...maybe try it half and half or buy *signature/holiday* outfits new and try and get the day to day clothes from friends and family. :)
  • Remember whatever you are not graced with, you must buy.  Be happy and take the hand me downs.  I'd be grateful so many people were offering you things!  I just got a whole tub of maternity clothes and I couldn't be more ecstatic!  Saves me a bunch of $$.  I'll be happy to accept things for the baby too that are not broken, stained or unsafe.
  • I wouldn't pass up an opportunity to take hand me downs.  Especially for things like a swing, bouncer, etc.  We graciously accepted whatever was given to us, and I am glad we did because those things add up really quickly, and DS didn't like a lot of them.  We weren't out any money. 

     

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  • clothing i always took if i knew the person.  i kept a few outfits in the car for emergencies, a few in each diaper bag.  

    as for gear, i always said "thanks for thinking of me, but my mother has already bought that for me."  

  • a good way to diffuse the situation is by saying "thank you" whenever someone offers, but not much else.  if they show up at your house w/ a bucket of clothes you can either keep it for a while and then return if they're expecting it back, or donate it if they're giving it to you.  otherwise, a lot of time ppl offer and then wait til you ask about it later.  if you don't and they don't bring it up, no harm no foul.

  • image IrishBrideND:

    I don't think its bratty, I just think its unnecessary. Babies are just going to dirty it right back up again. So I don't see the point. But thats your choice to make Just be honest with them.

     

    And a huge eye roll to the "giving your child the best" comment. Yes, because anyone who uses hand-me-downs isn't.

    Yes

  • I was selective about hand me downs, too.  I got B's furniture as a hand me down  (it was a beautiful set and of course I made sure that it wasn't recalled or had any safety issues.)  I didn't like the color so we just stained it a darker brown.

    I accepted clothes (from REALLY good friends only!!) as hand me downs, went through them and kept what I liked and looked good.  The rest I donated to the Salvation Army.

    I don't accept stuff from people I don't know very well, just because it kind of skeeves me out.  I don't know how 'clean' they are and all that.  Sorry, but that is just how I am.

    A stroller and carseat and all that stuff I insisted on getting new. 

    I don't think it's bratty of you to want new stuff as long as you are gracious in turning down people who offer you stuff.  :)

      Just be aware that it does add up as all that baby stuff is expensive!!

  • image orlandolovin:
    it's okay to want to buy new stuff [i do!!], it's exciting. :) just keep in mind, those new clothes are going to look like hand-me-downs after just a few washes so...maybe try it half and half or buy *signature/holiday* outfits new and try and get the day to day clothes from friends and family. :)

    I agree, it's so exciting to go shopping for your first child and get them all the cute little baby outfits that you always wanted to get and never had an excuse to buy! I know I'm not the only girl that likes to do this! LOL

    Don't get me wrong, I have taken hand me downs from close friends and family. Like she said, they're good for day to day stuff.

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  • You could always accept incase there are things you need, but when you accept, you could ask if its okay to pass on what you don't need to a local family shelter or homeless youth program. both can ALWAYS use these items (sadly, homeless pregnant youth are common). Then select what you like/need and make sure your friends know you will pass on unneeded items to a "good cause." :]
  • I'll gladly take any hand me downs. If there's stuff I don't like I'll donate it to charity. They grow SO fast and baby clothes are ridiculously expensive. Lots of kids have so many clothes that certain outfits are only worn once or twice so lots of hand me downs are still in great shape.

    I've actually thought about not buying any clothing until after the baby is born (just going on hand me downs and gifts) and then see where gaps need to be filled. I hate spending money on clothes. 

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  • Well personally, I would take what they offer and use what I need. If you really don't want the stuff, tell them they should sell it on eBay or in a yard sale to make them some more money.

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  • One of my bf is giving me her crib and changing table, which I am gladly taking. But this random guy dh works with said we should "borrow" some of their stuff. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. That I have to constantly worry about what happens to it because they want it back. We said thanks but no thanks to that. And yeah, I'll take some stuff from people I trust, but I don't want a lot of junk people are trying to get rid of sitting around my house.  It's ok to say no thank you.
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  • I agree about clothes...with the exception of wanting a few new things that are my personal style.  I was more talking about crib/stroller etc.

    Has anyone seen that ridiculous Platinum Babies show?  I say, spending $200 on a brand new crib just because I want it = fine...$3000 custom made silk crib bedding = F*CKING INSANE.  It puts things in perspective.

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