Babies: 3 - 6 Months

I think I hate my husband

This is really hard to admit, but I think I hate my husband.  There's still some love there, but it seems that lately there is a lot more hate.  

This started a few months before DD was born and just keeps getting worse.  It started at the same time as when he decided that he hated his job and was going to (as a "side" project) start 15, yes 15, companies.  Now he's never around and when he is he's either working or in a bad mood.  I do EVERYTHING for our baby (who I love to pieces) and asking him to spend even a half hour with DD invokes him to yell at me about he doesn't have time to hang out with DD.  We've talked and talked and talked and nothing gets better.  I don't want to get a divorce yet.  Has anyone here tried couples therapy?

(please don't judge me for this, but I need advice and I'm not close with my family and it's not something that I feel comfortable sharing with my friends yet) 

Re: I think I hate my husband

  • I haven't tried counseling, but it sounds like you should try it. Maybe the stress is just really getting to him? Maybe you could offer to do something to help with his companies to give him time to spend with your LO. Maybe he feels inadequate in being able to support you and LO so he is trying to take on too much?

     ((hugs))

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  • How can you have 15 companies? Is that a world record?

    I have not done couples therapy but if I were in your situation, I would in a heartbeat. I wouldn't give up on my marriage without a long, hard fight for it and that is definitely a step in the right direction. Good luck.

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  • No judging here! I am so sorry you are going through this situation. Couples therapy may be a good thing for you guys to try. Having a baby can put a lot of strain on a marriage.

    Good Luck and  ((HUGS))

  • I'm sorry your going through this. Having a baby is a drastic change for anyone.

    I think counseling is a wonderful idea. Would your DH be interested in it?

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  • In a way I feel like i'm going through the same thing. It's kinda like I grew up from having a baby and he didn't (we're a young couple, i'm 19 and he just turned 21). I would try couples therapy and see how that goes. My BF refuses to do anything of the sort though. GL and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me.
  • We just started couples counseling (only been to 2 sessions so far) and wow. It has really opened both of our eyes and it has been so helpful (so far). Don't feel bad I was in the same boat as you. No one knows we are going. I really wish we had done this before we got married but I feel we are working toward our goals and it's going to help even more.
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  • It definitely sounds like the two of you have very different priorities.  I don't have any experience with couples therapy but it has really helped one of my RL friends.  As bad as it seems right now, at least you two are willing to try and talk about it.  

    E-hugs and I hope it starts getting better.    

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  • (hugs)

    I do not have any advice, but I do hope things get better for you guys.


  • Thank you so much.  I guess we should try therapy.  I think he would do it, but it's a hard step to take.  It means accepting how bad things have really gotten.  But something has to change.  I cried two separate times tonight from him being so mean to me...and I am not a crier.  

    Beth's Mom, I'm sorry that you're going through a similar situation.  You can PM me too if you ever need someone to talk to.  I'll keep you in my thoughts.   

    Yeah, the 15 companies thing is ridiculous.  He's discovered that you can have people in India build you websites for a really small price.  So everything, with the exception of one project (and his original job) are internet companies.  And I haven't said this to him, but isn't it really hard to make money on the internet? 

  • image Yellowtulip:

    Beth's Mom, I'm sorry that you're going through a similar situation.  You can PM me too if you ever need someone to talk to.  I'll keep you in my thoughts.   

     I apologize, I meant to say Beth is a Mom. 

  • His relationship with your daughter is more important than 15 companies. He needs a reality check.
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