(let me preface this post by saying that I by no means intend to insult anyone with this post, I am a million bajillion times more critical of myself than I would ever be of anyone else)
I know I've read it a hundred times and said it a hundred times-happy momma=happy baby etc. BUT I bought a can of formula today. I feel very disappointed in myself. I've been bf'ing at home and pumping at work for most of DS's life (tried some formula when he was very young) I work long shifts and have to pump in the car or in the back of the ambulance with my (very male) partner sitting up front 3 times per day. I work as a paramedic and given the nature of the job I can't really predict my pumping times. I can't keep up with him anymore. I only have 2 or 3 days worth of BM in the freezer. I am the only Mommy at my job that has even attempted to pump and BF this long but I still feel rotten about it. I feel lazy, like if I tried harder I could make it work. I feel like I'm not doing right by DS, that he'll miss out on the benefits of BF'ing.
I still intend (if I'm able) to BF as often as possible at home and pump some at work but supplement with formula. I just don't think he's getting enough right now. He wakes at night a lot to eat. He's a big baby but he dropped from 98% to 75% between 4 and 6 months.
Argh I just hate this. Please remind me that I am not the monster that I am making myself out to be.