3rd Trimester

Lets get personal...

How's your intimate life these days??? Are the behind bedroom doors activities still going on??? Just curious.. DH and I have always had a really good intimate relationship, and we still do to a point. I understand the big belly and changes in my appearance are/could be a hinderence.. It just seems like I've been catching DH looking at naughty stuff online, etc. more than usual.. I'm not one to really care, Men will be men, but sheesh.. I've told him that it kinda hurts my feelings because I feel that I can't satisfy him right now, so he looks at other women.  He says thats not so...I guess I was just wanting some reassurance, is this normal?

TIA

Re: Lets get personal...

  • FI has definitely been looking at porn a lot more lately. It doesn't bother me though. We're down to doing to once a week, which is totally not normal for us, so I understand he's probably frustrated. I'm just too exhausted to even imagine doing it more than we are.
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  • Ever since the belly popped, mine has not even tried, even on our vacation last week.  When i had a little belly, we were ok, but now that it's OUT THERE, i think he's freaked.  I finally got him to admit that he sees me now as more of a "vessel of life" rather than sex object.  I've tried to explain that i'd like to be both. So we're working on that.  He's on the computer a lot, but i kind of don't want to know if he's checking out ladies because i know it would really hurt my feelings.


  • We have hardly had sex the whole pregnancy. I just have not been in the mood. I feel badly for DH because he wants it, but I'm just too tired and feel so blah. Maybe we'll start again when I'm ready to start going into labor. I don't think DH is looking at stuff online, but it wouldn't bother me, as I know he still loves me and thinks I'm beautiful, etc.
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  • DH and I both feel that looking lustfully at another person is equal to adultery (I realize we're in the minority, and I'm not judging anyone who thinks differently). Things in the bedroom have DEFINITELY slowed down over here. I can't seem to ever find a comfortable position, and I'm usually so dry I need the KY and he doesn't like the KY. But what I do try and do is make sure he gets a "release" at least once every three days. It helps to keep his stress levels down, and it makes me feel good that I'm not neglecting him completely. We have sex maybe once a month, which I know he prefers, but he's at the point where he'll take whatever he can get!
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  • I have never really been into it.  I can go for a month without and it doesn't bother me.  DH was at least once a week so I would give it up to him.  This was before BFP.  We have done it about 7 times since BFP and DH doesn't ask much because he knows that I'm really really not in the mood because I have felt like poo since 6 weeks.  I am finally starting to feel better so he has been asking more lately.  I gave in last weekend and will probably have to again this weekend.

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  • Ours has lessened to about once a week b/c DH has been sick for a week or so and also since our PTL scare and he found out I was starting to dilated already he thinks LO's head is falling out and it wierds him out, so he plays "just the tip" lol
  • Things have definitely slowed down. I can count on two hands how many times we've done it since bfp. It's been about 2 weeks since the last time! Poor DH! Maybe I'll surprise him this weekend...
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  • I have found the lube left by the bed.  I asked him if he needed more lovin' and if I wasn't be attentive enough, (we are still are active but way less than before).  It is getting pretty uncomfortable for me now that I am so huge and can't move very well. I am going to keep going at it till we can't because we will have at least 6 weeks after the baby of no naughty time and my mom will be here too so he will have little "lube" time as well lol. 

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  • My DH likes to take the edge off before he goes to work sometimes. Since I'm not awake early in the morning anymore to help him out (I'm a teacher and taking this year off to have LO), he looks at stuff on the internet. I don't care at all. I get to sleep, and sex is a lot more difficult and uncomfortable for us lately anyway. I'm physically uncomfortable, and he's worried about making me uncomfortable. I'm sure that, like my DH, your DH would rather be messing around with you, but until that baby is out, it's a lot easier to look at porn.

    To answer your first question, yes, we still have sex, but it's a challenge to find a position that's comfortable. We usually have intercourse for a while for the intimacy part, but when it comes to us actually getting off, it's oral sex to the rescue! It's just too uncomfortable for me to have DH do the vigorous thrusting he needs to do to finish, and of course I can't finish if I'm uncomfortable. Sometimes we just watch each other masturbate. I can't wait to have this baby out and be able to have normal sex again!

  • I'm such a dude.  I find myself looking at porn online more than DH. Embarrassed  We each have our needs but it is getting hard to do it together, so we tend to do it seperately.  I can't wait for about 6 weeks from now though!!!

  • I'm on bedrest, so it's down to nothing (sex seems to send me into PT labor). And even when I want to - DH is all creeped out since the nurse was checking me for dilation and felt the baby's head. Now he won't get near me...
  • Our sex life has pretty much come to a complete stop as of the last month or so. We had amazing sex until about week 18 then it become less and less frequent due to my body changing and the random aches and pains. Now that my belly is so huge it's just too hard to get comfortable and DH has a hard time because he sees my bump as "the baby" rather than a part of me and he is so worried about squishing her that he can't stay hard (sorry TMI). It's been frustrating because I fantasize about sex constantly and would still love to have that intimacy, but in my head the belly isn't there to get in the way and I know when it comes down to it it's just too difficult now. I'm so looking forward to skinny girl sex again, I really miss this part of our relationship.
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  • DH has been bribing me with his "cervix thinning" capabilities a lot recently. You should have seen his face when they told us that in our L&D class--he was like a kid on Christmas morning!

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  • We definitely don't have sex as much as we used to. My husband works so much that when he comes home he is usually too tired for sex. But I still want sex all the time! I've always been the one in the relationship to initiate sex, and I've always wanted it more often. We still have sex at least once a week, but I have noticed that he watches a lot more porn. I never had a problem with this before; in fact, we have bought porn together and watched it together. But now I feel like he is watching porn (solo, in secrecy) because he finds me repulsive, or unsexy. I feel like I'm being replaced by something both more convenient and more satisfying. I know that I shouldn't feel this way, but I find it impossible not to. Especially when I still want sex all the time, and would gladly have sex, and he instead turns to porn. :(
  • i'm in the same boat as a lot of people here......i want to but when it comes down to it, it just doesn't seem like there's enough room for dh in there. even in different positions it's uncomfortable and "stuffy/full".
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  • We were doing that everyday until I got a job out of state, then I'd only see him on the weekends, but we'd still make time for it everyday I was there. It was only when I started dialating at 35 weeks that it started to cause issues. Now I can't travel to see him, so the situation is a little different, but I don't think we'd be doing that particular activity now anyways. (i'm 3-4cm dialated and 38 weeks) I've read that it's ok to continue until you go into labor, but it just makes us both nervous and uncomfortable to think about it. It is hard to deal with being so big though, because he is still in college and I know there's all sorts of skinny, non-pregnant girls running around and I just kinda feel like a puffy penguin with a basketball for a gut. If you are into it, maybe you can look at it with him? Or maybe take that as a signal to initiate some intimate time? Maybe you should just ask more probing questions to find out what he wants/ what stimulates him now.

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  • Dh and I had sex twice todayEmbarrassed
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  • Non-existent since about June - so by the time the baby is born and we wait 6 weeks it will be about 6 months of no sex--- it sucked at first but now i am definately not feeling frisky AT ALL, so it doesn't bother me anymore
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