2nd Trimester

Rant:Blame it on the Prego!

Ok..so here it goes..

My father died on August 5th and I was power of atturny and all that jazz.  So he gave me power before and after his death.  My sister (who, btw has been diagnosed with anemia and cannot get pregnant) said that this situation was worse for her than it was for me. I was shocked..I had to ask her why.  She said because Im pregnant and still can be happy now but she has nothing.. really?!? For one, she lives on an airforce base and they get everything handed to them. Thats good because it was better than what her and her husband were going through before her husband went into the AF.  But anyway, my dad did get to find out I was pregnant before he died but it was so horrible to know that he was not ever going to see the baby. FYI I just got married on October 2nd so he missed that too.  But now my sister is slamming me for being pregnant more lately and bashing what I want for the nursery...She brings me down a lot and my mother just lets me have it as well.  O.o 

However, I have noticed that it seems like infertile woman have more pregnancy hormones that pregnant woman do.  I understand they are hurt but my sister-and other people I know that cannot have kids will look disgusted when a pregnant woman walks their way.  Umm, yeah we are allowed to get pregnant and its no one else's business.  

 Have every woman that is not pregnant bash the prego!! My freak'n god, we didn't do anything to anyone.  

BTW, yes pregnant woman complain about pain.. so what?-It *** hurts! LMAO

So any of you that had trouble getting pregnant and got pregnant, I applaud you for not giving up.. <3

 

People need to stop being bitches about other womans ability(sometimes inability) to get pregnant and live your life happily!

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Re: Rant:Blame it on the Prego!

  • I totally understand your point. I have to say, when I lost my first pregnancy, I was overcome with bitterness and hurt at the thought of not being a mother. I cannot imagine having that feeling of wanting to be a mother and knowing I would never be able to. It was hard to hide my feelings when my SIL had a baby 2 months after my mc. Also, to see my DH play with his niece and know I just lost ours was just overwhelming. Our desire to have that happiness was so deep. So, as much as I agree with you, I wish nothing but blessings on those who will never have that void filled. We never know when we could be in their shoes. I hope as many of those who cannot get pg will consider sharing their love with children who do not have the love of a parent...together they might both find happiness.

  • I'm sorry that you are going through this with family especially.  It's hard to be around people that just can't be happy for you.  I had to share my office at work with a girl that had been ttc for 5 years when I got pregnant.  She was horrible to me most days and would full on ignore me if I talked about the baby or anything baby related.  I understand that it would be painful to be around a pregnant girl when you have been trying for years but it also sucks the excitement right out of you doesn't it? I hope you have other people in your life that are happy and excited for you, I would focus on them for now.
  • image aetennis:

    However, I have noticed that it seems like infertile woman have more pregnancy hormones that pregnant woman do.  I understand they are hurt but my sister-and other people I know that cannot have kids will look disgusted when a pregnant woman walks their way.  Umm, yeah we are allowed to get pregnant and its no one else's business.  

    So any of you that had trouble getting pregnant and got pregnant, I applaud you for not giving up.. <3

    People need to stop being bitches about other womans ability(sometimes inability) to get pregnant and live your life happily!

    First of all - what does her being anemic have to do with her infertility? I can honestly say that I found the comment highlighted above in bold a bit offensive. I also had trouble getting pregnant... and went through a lot. But to say that all infertile women are bitchy like your sister is treating you. Also - I never looked at a pregnant woman with disgust. If anything it may make me a bit sad but I have always seen pregnancy as such a beautiful thing (even while I was struggling for years and taking meds). I can understand you being upset with your sister - I would too. But - please don't generalize all infertile women in such a way because it's just not true.

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  • Thanks for the support and sorry if I offended at all..its just some people automatically think your out to get them when you get pregnant. lol Thank god my sister only talks me online now. lol
  • I didnt mean it that way.. the people I know are like that... and agian i complimented the ones that got pregnant after trying.
  • image aetennis:
    I didnt mean it that way.. the people I know are like that... and agian i complimented the ones that got pregnant after trying.

     

    Like I said - I would be upset and hurt if that were my your sister and mom as well... but I just did not like the generalization you seemed to make.  Hope it gets better for you soon.  If anything - just don't talk to her about your pregnancy and only focus with positve people.

    Good luck. 

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  • While I understand that you are hurt by her behavior I was very offended by most of what you said.

    I had four m/c before this LO. You cannot understand the pain associated with it. I truly thought I would never be a mother and it was heartbreaking. While it was hard to be happy for others while I was in so much pain I was never a bit$h like your sister is being. It sounds like your sister has a lot of animosity towards you outside of you being pregnant. My last m/c was just after my mother died. I know how hard it is to be pregnant and have a parent die. They should be loving you not trying to hurt you more.

    I also felt that the comment about the Air Force was uncalled for. My DH served four years in the A/F my sister 6 in the Army, my BIL 8 in the army and my FIL did 20 in the army. Being in the military is a hard job and being a military wife is also hard. The men and women in uniform and their families give more than people realize. They aren't "handed" anything.

    I hope your family pulls their heads out of their butts but please don't categorize people and situations.

  • Oh my sister told me that the only thing they have to pay for is food.
  • I could go on for days and tell you how wrong you are, but instead I will just say be lucky for what you have.  Its horrible that you are sitting there complaining about woman who don't have an easy time getting pregnant.  I lost my daughter at 20 weeks ...and up until that point thought life was so easy.  Let me tell you in an istant it could change.  So thank God for every day that you have with you baby instead of complaing about those that can't get pregnant.  I do think you need to grow up though.  You have such an insane view on life. 

    I especially love that you think military life is so easy.  Yes, if you sister lives in base housing she has it easy, but what about when her husband deploys and she's up worrying?  I'm sure you will still think its easy since they will be bringing in money tax free.  Let me tell you as a Marine wife I love the fact that you can sit back and say everything is handed to them.  Do you realize that some people in the miltary need assistance from the goverment to provide for their family?  Bet you didn't know that since they have everything "handed to them" 

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  • I'm sorry for the loss of your dad and that your family is not being very nice to you.

    But you are a smug b!tch for making these comments. As PPs have said, categorizing everyone who is TTC is very ignorant. Your sister might be bitter, but more likely is just tired of hearing you whine and complain about every last pg symptom while she would love to experience any and all of that. I can imagine she is probably not feeling very kind toward you these days.

    If these are the things you will say on an anonymous board, I can't imagine what a peach you are to deal with IRL.

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    BFP #3- 7/30/11- Baby Boy Due April 3, 2012
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  • I am so not sorry to say this...you are a ignorant selfish stupid b!tch!

     I feel bad for your sister because she has to deal with someone like you...haha and your a newbie too...god I hope they just don't talk to you anymore on here...

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  • It sounds like she is having a hard time dealing with your father's death. You might want to try talking to her about it.
  • image aetennis:
    Oh my sister told me that the only thing they have to pay for is food.

    Being in the military is hardly a cakewalk. Do you understand what military families give up in order to get everything "handed to them" as you called it?

    I think you need to grow up.

  • Yeah.. I'm on the b!tch bandwagon.

    I also thought life was easy - I complained about being pregnant, and was blissfully unaware of how quickly that can change. However, at 24 weeks, that changed and my daughter was born sleeping. I have been trying to get pregnant for the past year. Does that make me bitchy? Why yes, yes it does. 

    Maybe you should pull your head out of your a$$ and realize that people trying to get pregnant are full of hurt, hope, and just about every other conceivable emotion known to man. Bitterness being a BIG one. I'm pretty sure after all we've been through, we're entitled to a little bitterness and jealousy. Yes we complain. But we're stronger than you will ever be. I would NEVER wish the pain of losing a child on anyone, even you.  Good luck with that whole being a mommy thing.

    Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008 M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010 My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section
  • image CarrieLeigh84:

    Yeah.. I'm on the b!tch bandwagon.

    I also thought life was easy - I complained about being pregnant, and was blissfully unaware of how quickly that can change. However, at 24 weeks, that changed and my daughter was born sleeping. I have been trying to get pregnant for the past year. Does that make me bitchy? Why yes, yes it does. 

    Maybe you should pull your head out of your a$$ and realize that people trying to get pregnant are full of hurt, hope, and just about every other conceivable emotion known to man. Bitterness being a BIG one. I'm pretty sure after all we've been through, we're entitled to a little bitterness and jealousy. Yes we complain. But we're stronger than you will ever be. I would NEVER wish the pain of losing a child on anyone, even you.  Good luck with that whole being a mommy thing.

    Very VERY well said! 

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  • Wow.  I think you need counseling to help you deal with your dad's death.  You seem to have alot of anger and bitterness about the situation you are in.  A few of my thoughts for you:

    1.  You've obviously never felt the pain of a loss or the pain of infertility.  Something changed in me when I had a m/c.  The first couple of months were hard knowing that it was seemingly so easy for some women to get pregnant and stay pregnant, but it didn't work that way for me.  I wouldn't wish the pain and emptiness on anyone. 

    2.  I'm glad you think life in the military is a joke.  I spend my days working for the AF, and I can assure you it is no joke.  Yes, they have privileges to the BX and Commissary, but have you noticed what an enlisted man or woman gets paid?  I can't imagine trying to support a family on what some of the E-3s or E-4s make. 

    Do you know how hard it is to watch a spouse get on a plan and leave for months on end?  I don't think anyone wants that handed to them, but I've watched it happen too many times.  What about the men and women who don't come back and leave their spouses and children behind?  Yep, those perks sound GREAT. 

    3.  I do live my life happily, as do many other girls that have experienced losses.  I have friends who are pregnant or have just had babies, and I couldn't be more excited for them.  I know my time will come, and until then I will wait patiently. 

     

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  • image aetennis:

    Ok..so here it goes..

    My father died on August 5th and I was power of atturny and all that jazz.  So he gave me power before and after his death.  My sister (who, btw has been diagnosed with anemia and cannot get pregnant) said that this situation was worse for her than it was for me. I was shocked..I had to ask her why.  She said because Im pregnant and still can be happy now but she has nothing.. really?!? For one, she lives on an airforce base and they get everything handed to them. Thats good because it was better than what her and her husband were going through before her husband went into the AF.  But anyway, my dad did get to find out I was pregnant before he died but it was so horrible to know that he was not ever going to see the baby. FYI I just got married on October 2nd so he missed that too.  But now my sister is slamming me for being pregnant more lately and bashing what I want for the nursery...She brings me down a lot and my mother just lets me have it as well.  O.o 

     

     

    Is it a competition?  Why are you guys trying to figure out who it was harder on?  I'm am sorry for your loss, but your father's death is not about you

  • I really have no words, except learn how to spell. 

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  • People say things they don't mean or things that are hurtful when they are dealing with a death...but to come on here and bash many women in this community, wow.  I know you said you didn't mean it, but next time proof-read. 

    I think your family needs to do some grief counseling and be there for one another.  Quit making it a fight over who misses your dad more, or who is having a harder time.   Do you honestly think this is what your dad would want?

  • I am bitter towards all pregnant women, and I am one again. And I have found the women on this site who have suffered loss to be the most giving, most supportive and most genuine of all. They celebrated my BFP with me, hold my hand when I sit here crying from the fear of losing another baby, and have never once expressed anything but sheer happiness for my DH and I. What you wrote here was beyond offensive, and if you don't get that, I don't know what to tell you.

    You get what you give in this world - you might want to think how you would like to be treated in this situation.

  • I am sorry your father died. I am so happy you don't have to deal the pain and frustration that comes with pregnancy loss and infertility. THAT SAID.

    Get over yourself. Talk to you sister and tell her how you feel. Let her get it out now so she can be an Aunty to your LO. I understand both sides of this having lost a baby, I understand that you want your family to be there for you, but so does your sister who is hurting with her troubles. Maybe you should just not complain to your sister about your pregnancy pains and She can not complain to you about her infertility.

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  • I don't blame your idiotic rantings on pregnancy hormones.  I blame it on you being an unsympathetic immature b!tch.

     

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  • Wow, I am offended. You sound like one selfish b!tch.

    As a Marine wife, I can tell you it is HARD. We are not "handed" anything. I have lived on base before and the only advantages vs. living in town are that you don't pay sales tax and you don't pay utilities. Even then it is a rip-off. They take your housing allowance when you live on base so it's not like you live there for free, and let me tell you base housing is not worth all the allowance.

    I'm not sure what "everything" means when you say "everything is handed to them." Yes, the insurance is great and you can't beat the job security. But would you be willing to live as a single mother while your husband is deployed overseas risking his life, just to be "handed" such things? DH is going to Afghanistan for a year and I am scared sh!tless. What I wouldn't give to NOT have to worry about my husband dying overseas.

    I do not want sympathy (it is the life DH chose after all, and I married him knowing what it would be like) and I do not have a sense of entitlement for being a military wife. I just feel it necessary to share these things when ignorant people like you make thoughtless comments like you did.

     

     

     

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  • image aetennis:

    However, I have noticed that it seems like infertile woman have more pregnancy hormones that pregnant woman do.  I understand they are hurt but my sister-and other people I know that cannot have kids will look disgusted when a pregnant woman walks their way.  Umm, yeah we are allowed to get pregnant and its no one else's business.  

     Have every woman that is not pregnant bash the prego!! My freak'n god, we didn't do anything to anyone.  

    BTW, yes pregnant woman complain about pain.. so what?-It *** hurts! LMAO

    So any of you that had trouble getting pregnant and got pregnant, I applaud you for not giving up.. <3

    Um, OK.  So insult me, but then pat me on the back?  You're kind of an a$$hole, you know that?  And evidently totally self centered as well.

     

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  • image epphd:
    image aetennis:

    However, I have noticed that it seems like infertile woman have more pregnancy hormones that pregnant woman do.  I understand they are hurt but my sister-and other people I know that cannot have kids will look disgusted when a pregnant woman walks their way.  Umm, yeah we are allowed to get pregnant and its no one else's business.  

     Have every woman that is not pregnant bash the prego!! My freak'n god, we didn't do anything to anyone.  

    BTW, yes pregnant woman complain about pain.. so what?-It *** hurts! LMAO

    So any of you that had trouble getting pregnant and got pregnant, I applaud you for not giving up.. <3

    Um, OK.  So insult me, but then pat me on the back?  You're kind of an a$$hole, you know that?  And evidently totally self centered as well.

     

    No, you are totally in correct.

    Not "kind of"

     

  • I didn't have any trouble TTC and I think you're an idiot.
  • as a military wife we hardly get things HANDED to us.... yes we have amazing healthcare that covers everything. But you try moving every three years, picking up your life, leaving family and friends, wondering if and when your husband is getting deployed, when he is deployed is he geting shot at, is he coming back home to yo and the family you have built together, the long days he puts in, the many many nights he is out in the field for training, being a single parent a lot of the time and dealing with how the military works in general always flip flopping. So you can thank my husband for the freedom and priviledge you have for being able to have you baby here.....
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  • Once you get that BFP you are a mommy and as such are never but a second away from tragedy and heartbreak for the rest of your life because of how important LO's become and how invested you are in them. In other words, you are not out of the woods yet in just 2nd tri and something could still happen to your pregnancy and to all of ours. We still have very very sad days on 3rd tri. THIS is why you don't open your mouth out of anger and spout a bunch of ignorant crap because it always comes back to bite you in the a$$ later. Do not judge your sister, its a miracle she even has anything to do with you from the sounds of it.
  • I know I'm tardy to the party - but I need to offer my list of things that, in my opinion, you need to do IMMEDIATELY.

    1) Learn to spell attorney.  Atturny - really? Proofread so you don't lose any ounce of credibility you might have had.

    2) Learn to respect the military. I am in awe of people who live on military bases. Yes, they do get some things for "free" - but that is a monetary version of "free" only. Military families earn everything they have. They get NOTHING for free. 

    3) Learn the difference between your sister and all women who have trouble getting pregnant. To group an entire (rather large) group of women in with one woman you are annoyed with is just ignorant. 

    4) Learn the difference between a look of "disgust" from pregnant women and a look of anguish. 

    I leave you with one last thought: How do you know that the women giving you disgusted looks aren't pregnant? Perhaps they just aren't showing yet. Maybe it has nothing to do with your pregnancy - maybe they look at you that way because they are just disgusted.

    Please think about what you say in public. 

     

     

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  • image stephelias:

    Wow, I am offended. You sound like one selfish b!tch.

    As a Marine wife, I can tell you it is HARD. We are not "handed" anything. I have lived on base before and the only advantages vs. living in town are that you don't pay sales tax and you don't pay utilities. Even then it is a rip-off. They take your housing allowance when you live on base so it's not like you live there for free, and let me tell you base housing is not worth all the allowance.

    I'm not sure what "everything" means when you say "everything is handed to them." Yes, the insurance is great and you can't beat the job security. But would you be willing to live as a single mother while your husband is deployed overseas risking his life, just to be "handed" such things? DH is going to Afghanistan for a year and I am scared sh!tless. What I wouldn't give to NOT have to worry about my husband dying overseas.

    I do not want sympathy (it is the life DH chose after all, and I married him knowing what it would be like) and I do not have a sense of entitlement for being a military wife. I just feel it necessary to share these things when ignorant people like you make thoughtless comments like you did. 

     

    Well said.. apparently ignorance is bliss. As for having things handed to military families: They take a $2,000 housing allowance away from us every month for living on base. My husband works 14 hour days while here, and is gone for 7 month deployments... of course there are perks, but at the end of the day I think we f*cking deserve it.  

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