2nd Trimester

How many mothers/MILs are...

getting lots of stuff for their house for the baby?

Both are getting packnplays which I can understand, and both want to get swings or other seats and almost everything I will have. How often will the baby really go over to their houses?

This may be a dumb question as this is my first baby but it will be born at the end of January in an Iowa winter....will I really leave my own house all that often for the first couple months and/or just drop the baby off at their house enough for them to need all the same stuff I'm getting?

Again, I know this is a dumb questionSmile but I'd love a 2nd opinion because my mother and MIL keep telling me that my child will probably be at their house EVERY weekend and I don't see it. THANKS!


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Re: How many mothers/MILs are...

  • My MIL already has 2 grandkids. They have a ton of things at their house. The kids stay over a lot and are over there all the time.


    Its up to you though. Our child won't be over there EVERY weekend, but some do it that way. My SIL is over at her mom's house at least once a week, often more.

  • They're probably just really excited. I live 12 hours away from my mom and she got a crib for when we come to visit. I imagine we won't visit more than twice a year, but it's her money and space I guess. Since you live so close, I would just make it clear at some point that you won't be able to come over everyday- set some boundaries.
  • I will say that it is nice for GM/MIL's to have this stuff for baby so that way you won't need to pack alot when you want ot go visit.
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  • Not buying, but insisting upon using my crib from the 70s that she has kept in the basement all these years.
  • Nice Hawkeye blinky  :)  Class of 2001...you?

    My DD was my MIL's 5th grandchild, so she has a pack n play, high chair and some bibs, and a porta-crib thing.  She might also have a couple blankets.  But she babysits fairly regularly between the 5 of them, soon to be 6!

    My mom has a crib, and she keeps some clothes, blankets, etc. She had bottles, now has sippy cups and bowls, kid silverware, etc.  But she watches my DD a lot for us, and overnights.  We're going to NYC next weekend for 4 days, but she'll have her the night before we leave, as well as the night we come home because we don't get back until about 10pm.  We've got 2 weddings that we know of next year that are out of state, and the following February we're going to Mexico for a week for a destination wedding...and she'll have TWO kids for all of those LOL.  It's much much easier for her to go and get a pack of diapers and wipes and cups than for us to have to transport that stuff all the time. 

    For as much as my DH and go out still, there are times my mom comes in the city (from the burbs) to watch my DD, but we LOVE not having to wake up so early the next morning so we really prefer for her to go to my moms.  That still doesn't equal every weekend though.

    Not a dumb question at all!  I think it's truly different for every family...my DH and I really still go out a lot, but some people don't, and didn't even before they had kids.  I say, if they want to buy it, let them, but don't necessarily encourage them if you don't want to!

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  • Ha! Both my mother in law and grandmother in law bought all this stuff and toys and a crib that was better than mine when I had my first daughter lmao.. I was like O.o wow.. nice way to waste your money. lol
  • I don't think so... Considering we live in hawaii and have to fly across the country to ohio to visit either mother. So chances are that K-monkey will be a couple of years old before we visit them, they will most likely visit us more. :D
  • Perhaps they are experiencing wishful thinking?
  • image Shell24:

    Nice Hawkeye blinky  :)  Class of 2001...you?

    Never went there actually but DH and I have been Hawkeye fans since probably our own births. Smile


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  • my mom has a crib and a pnp and a high chair and a bouncy chair. its her first grandchild and even though i only live six minutes away she insisted on all this stuff. it made me laugh and i don't really mind. i'm sure the baby will visit her a lot. but idk about every weekend.
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  • We live in Utah. My mom is in NY and MIL in LA.  We have been to my mom's twice and not yet to MIL's.  They both have pack n plays, highchairs, and my mom got an infant tub.  It was really nice that she had the stuff for us.  So even though it is really rare that we are there, it is helpful.  It might not be necessary that they have all the stuff but I'm sure you'll be glad you don't have to pack yours up every time you visit or they babysit!
  • My mom is getting an inexpensive pack n play and swing. I told my mom just to get the basic pack n play (we saw one at target for $50) and a travel swing (since they're smaller and less expensive). She said when baby gets a little bigger she will probably get a high chair (maybe something used). When my nieces were young she had extras and used them all the time. It was a pain for my sister to cart all those things over when they would visit, and my mom would end up using them if other family members with kids came over. If they get a good price its well worth it. Even if you don't visit a lot, it's such a pain to haul all those things with you. It will save you hassle and I'm sure they're happy to do it.
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  • Oh yes, well you have to be!  It's the equivalent to a professional team!
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  • I think it depends on the situation and how comfortable you are with your baby spending time with your mom/MIL, especially solo. 

    My mom hardly has any baby stuff b/c we live 1,200 miles away. When we visit, they've either rented stuff, we bring things along (if we drive) or we make due without. But my mom has friends who babysit their grandkids constantly and they would definitely need more gear to have that work smoothly. 

    MIL (also far away) has a crib and two high chairs. She has half a dozen grandkids, two more on the way, and it helps to at least have those basics for when people come to visit. 


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  • I think mine would if we lived closer.
  • Because my husband is in the military and we dont live in the same state as our parents, and its already difficult for us to back for me, my husband, our two dogs and everything our dogs will need for our visit, my mother already has a crib, and plans to get all the other things as well...she is planning on buying most things second hand so it isnt too expensive. We only live about 2 hours away so we do go home at least twice a month, for the entire weekend, and I must say I am glad she is getting all these things and I dont have to worry about packing them along with all the other things
  • My mom runs a daycare, and 2 other grandkids, one of which will only be 7 1/2 months old when LO arrives. Plus we live in the same town. Seriously it probably takes less than 2 minutes to get to her house. I'm sure we will be over there often. MIL lives about 5-7 minutes away, but I don't see her getting all that stuff. I don't know if she would get all that stuff if it was her child, though.
  • My mom is talking about getting all of this stuff for their house too. She is going to make a nursery for the baby there. Honestly, I don't really see the point because I can't see me having my newborn baby sleep over her house all the time, when he/she is older, but not right away. If that's what she wants to do though then that is fine with me.
  • My MIL says that too..... He's going to be there every weekend, and I have to say absolutely not! That's my time to spend with him since I work during the week. I feel the same way about going out, I'm due in January and live in buffalo! No way are we leaving the house then....it's way to cold then.
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  • Really, it's their money, and you will find out that it works out to be a great convenience... not for them, but for you, since you won't have to lug that stuff around when you do visit them, or when they will babysit.  Our closest relatives are my BIL and SIL, who do not have children, and I wish they would have some of this stuff at their house, since we visit them twice a month-ish.
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  • My mom will have a highchair (one of the ones that goes from infant to a toddler booster seat and just straps onto a chair) and most likely a travel swing at her house. And when we are done with it, the co-sleeper will stay at her house as a pack n play. But she will also be the primary baby sitter anytime we go anywhere and we go over to her house fairly often. Although most of the time I would prefer she be at our hosue watching him, there are going to be times when that is not feasible and I would rather not drag stuff to her house.

    The IL's won't have anything. We won't go there enough for them to need anything, they will come to us more.

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