I wish I could grow a backbone!!!
My SIL is really excited about this baby because she's finally old enough to get what's going on (she's 21 and this is the first baby in 16 years). Last week during my first induction (FAIL), she asked who was going to be in the delivery room. I told her that it was only going to be me and DH (and the doctors, of course). She asked if she could be there and I totally thought she was joking, so I laughed! Then she started crying...she was serious.
Well, I go in tomorrow for attempt #2 and after the goat rope it was last time, DH and I decided that we aren't going to call anyone until after LO is born. That way we have time to bond, I can get the breast feeding thing going, I can rest, get a snackie snack, all that stuff. SIL stopped by today to bring us a bassinet and started asking questions about tomorrow. I told her what the plan was and not to worry, we'll call with any news and all that. She asked AGAIN if she could be in the room during delivery and I again said no. "Well, I'll just sneak in if I have to then," was her response. Nervous laughter, eye rolls, "alright, whatever."
They (SIL and her bf) left our house about 45 minutes ago. I just got a call from one of the nurses at the hospital we're delivering at and apparently SIL called them to see if I really had the last say over who is in the room when and if DH and I really have the authority to kick people out/prohibit people from being in the room and limiting visiting time. We already have hospital security on call for other IL issues and they wanted to know what to do about SIL. I told them that the same rules apply to her as the rest of them: if we want people back there, DH will escort them to the room and they will have to leave when we say so.
I've stuck to my guns on issues with her before, but she holds grudges and lays guilt trips that would make my Catholic grandma proud. The last time she didn't get her way with us (I told her she couldn't move in with us), she FLIPPED OUT, locked herself in her room for a week and a half and she STILL brings it up sometimes.
Why can't I put on my big girl panties and tell her to suck it up, it's not her kid and that she doesn't get to make the decisions?!?!? Because I'm a total pushover and afraid of confrontation. Seriously, my friends call me Rex (like Rex from Toy Story) because I'm so ridiculous about this stuff. So, should I have DH deal with her since it's his sister and let him deal with the consequences, should I have the nurses and security deal with it or is it something that I need to tackle myself? What have you guys done in these situations?