3rd Trimester

Family far away and delivery

Our parents live 8 hours away - both of our parents and my sister would stay at our house while they are visiting us and the baby. I keep going back and forth if I want them to be here for the actual delivery (if possible) or if I'd like a few days for DH and I to be alone with baby before everyone gets here.

When will your family come to see you/baby? During delivery (if they can make it) or will you and DH have a few days to yourself before they come?

Re: Family far away and delivery

  • I'm kinda torn. I'd know my family will be here for the delivery but with the inlaws...I'd love to have a few days with DH and the baby. No such luck.
  • We live in CO and the rest of our family lives either in MI or NJ.  As soon as I am definitely in labor my Mom is going to catch a flight out.  She will most likely not make it for the delivery, but she will be staying with us for about a week.  Once she leaves the ILs are coming to help out for about a week.  Then it will whatever sister can get time off work. 

    Basically we are going to have visitors for about a month after LO is born and I am personally very thankful for that.  

  • My family and DH's mom and bother live close by and will visit at the hospital.  DH's dad will head into town when he hears that LO has arrived and will see him/her when they are a couple days old, probably at our house.  No one will be staying with us so having time at home alone won't be an issue.
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  • mom is driving up (6 hours) to be there for delivery and stay a week.

    personally, i think that you and dh will want time ALONE after a day of two, and family would be nice to take care of the baby so you can rest and not be submersed in babydom right away. that's me. personally i think you will have plenty of time for you and dh to bond with baby, but family only has a limited amt of time (usually) where they can stay and help out.

  • My family lives 15,000 miles away, so we had to make this decision in my first trimester!  LOL.

    We decided that my mom will be coming out 4 days after my due date and staying for three weeks to help out (I told her she's in charge of cooking and cleaning).  If I haven't given birth by the time she gets here, she will not be in the delivery room with us and will hang with the ILs until I'm out of the hospital...but will obviously be visiting and all that.  She's totally cool with that.  

    Then for Christmas (baby will be approx. 8 weeks old) my mom, dad, and one of my sisters will be coming down here again for three weeks.  We're planning to go to Perth for two of those weeks (staying in a condo on the beach...woot!) so we can spend Christmas and New Years with DH's extended family.

  • ILs live in town, they will see us right after delivery. My mom will book tickets ASAP when I am in labor, but probably won't be out until a few days after the birth.
  • Well, I've had it both ways - one where we didn't have family with us during delivery and 2 with family and I prefer family. I was kind of lonely after the "loner" delivery and had a hard time with post-partum depression because I didn't have anyone else to keep me distracted, especially when hubs went back to work. This delivery we'll have LOTS of family and I'm excited about it...
  • my family's 1300 mi away and nobody's coming out for the delivery, or soon after.  figure if we go home for xmas they can see LO then.

    DH's family lives only 1 hr away and they figure we'll call them when we're ready.

  • Both our families live across the country. DH and I will be alone with LO for a week, then my parents come for a few days, and after they leave the ILs will come for a few days.

    And then eeeveryone comes back at xmas...oiy.

  • The original plan was for my mom to fly out a week after the baby was born, but instead she bought her ticket for this Saturday. I'm sure the baby will still not be here by then. I would have liked at least a few days alone with DH, but it doesn't look like I'll be getting it. I also don't know what she'll do for the 2 days that I'm in the hospital.
  • Both DH's and my family live in Cali.  As soon as I go into labor, we're going to book flights for our moms.  They may or may not make it for delivery.  My mom will stay 3 weeks and mil will stay for 1 week.

    Yesterday though I heard the first about a possible scheduled c-section for me so we'll see how things work out.

  • I'm from Washington State and DH is from Indiana, so all his family is here (shoot me now...). My mom and dad are flying in tonight (I'm being induced tomorrow morning) and my dad is leaving on Saturday because he's got to go back for work. I know my mom is staying for a couple weeks, but she's going to be staying in a hotel because she wants us to be able to have some alone time with baby and be able to bond as a new family.

    If I could pick and choose which IL's I'd have to deal with, it would make this WAAAY better for me (90% of them are on hardcore drugs, hate me and won't respect my rules), but I can't. I know MIL will be around (and for that I am thankful, she's an absolute DOLL), but I don't know what other clingers will be following her. Hopefully it won't be too many of them. She said that she's going to make herself scarce while my parents are here because she doesn't want to overwhelm us, but that she's more than willing to help after they leave (and she's a FANTASTIC helpy helper. She'll actually help instead of steal baby).

  • My dad and stepmom live about 100 miles away ( 2 - 3 hour drive).  We already see my dad 3 times a week (his work commute is awful, so he stays with us a few days a week).  So depending on the day, my dad might be with us already.  If my dad isn't already with us, I plan to give them a call when I go into labor and have them drive up when I go to the birthing center.  They don't need to see me grunting and pushing, but I figure they can visit as soon as I've delivered and we've had an hour or two to clean ourselves up.  After that, I think they want to stay with us a day or two.  If I'm lucky, the baby will come before Christmas, and then we'll probably spend 4 or 5 days with them.

    Oh, and DH is taking 8 weeks of paternity leave with me, so we can learn to be parents together. *happy sigh*

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  • We live in Idaho. My family lives in MN and IL; my husband's family lives in CA. My mom is going to come and stay for a week when the baby is born. She has a plane ticket for the week the baby is due, but she can change it if necessary (love Southwest). My MIL doesn't really travel, so we will go see her and the rest of DH's family in San Diego at some point during my maternity leave.

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  • Inlaws = nope because of major history of drama!  They live in OH and we are in CA.

    My mom is only a 7 hour drive away and she was asking to be up hear on my due date but because as a first time mom, I most likely will go over, I told her we will let her know when I go into labor and she can then make arrangements to drive up or fly if possible.  I would love to have her here during the delivery but also want to hold on to the few days left of just hubby and me time.

    Also, because of the drama with my MIL over her demanding to fly out here 7 days after my due date and staying with us for 2 weeks!  We put a big fat NO on that one!  I feel a little guilty being so open ended with my mom. Hubby is fine with it but I still feel some sadness because his mom is being such a biotch about everything.

    So the minute I start to feel something happening, my mom will get a call and she will try to get here in time but its up in the air how it will play out.

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  • It really depends on your personality.  My SIL wanted everyone there -- she had her mom and her other SIL in the room -- in addition to her brothers and dad and some other people at the house.  CRAZY, if you ask me.  (And they all flew in from the opposite side of the country.)

    I'll be having only one person with me, period: my mom (only because hubby's deployed; otherwise, it would have been just him).  I don't want anyone else at the house, even.  I need the breather and the time to catch my sanity.  I have had several people ask if I want them there (to fly in), and I was just honest and told them I'd probably be too tired. My ILs are waiting to come until about four weeks later.

  • My parents will be here for the delivery.  I'm having a scheduled c-section and they'll come into town the night before and stay at our house for the first week.  I think my mom will even stay in the hospital with me the first night because DH wants to be able to come home to put our 2 year old to bed that night so he's not without both parents that day.
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  • My mother lives in MN and I live in CA, im going to start talking to her everyday when i get closer to my due date so she can fly in to come to the hospital when im in labor.
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  • I am in the same boat as you. My mom and dad live in washington state, a two and a half hour plane ride and my sister lives in Kansas which is a six hour drive. I think I want DH and I to have a few days to ourselves (especially since DH only gets at the most a week off). But I want someone at the hospital who will take pictures of us (my sister). They would also be staying with us and the only problem I see with this is that my sister has a 3 year old and a baby who will be at the oldest 2 months when my LO arrives. My mom and dad will want to meet him right away especially because MIL lives only 2 hours away. I am totally torn, but I am leaning more toward having a few days to ourselves before having people come. I am just afraid that I will hurt their feelings if I tell them they have to wait.

     

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