I'm sorry but I'm feeling like a little bit of a failure right now
I have been through hell and back with this bfing business as I'm sure most of you might recall. Here we are at almost 14wks of ebf (me feeling all proud of myself) and I find out that what I'm doing isn't providing enough for my DD. I feel guilty for not drinking enough water. I feel like I have somehow failed her in this department by not realizing/keeping up my supply.
After everyone CONSTANTLY commenting on how small she is, even asking if she was a preemie, I just got fed up and finally took her in. My fears were confirmed. Now I'm worried that all my hard work is going to go to waste since it seems like the supplementing is going to set me up for failure.
I'm too afraid at this point to not listen to the Dr by not supplementing and risk going in for a visit for her 4 month well check up and have her still not gaining much. This just sucks!!
I know it sounds silly but I want her to get bigger. I'm constantly worrying if something is wrong. I thought BM was supposed to be all that they needed!?
I guess I'm just venting...
Re: I'm sorry but I'm feeling like a little bit of a failure right now
Christmas 2011
How big was she at birth? I am pretty sure my DD wasn't much bigger at 3 months.
You are not a failure. It is super hard and you are doing great! Supplementing is not the worse thing in the world and if you pump after feeding her the formula, I bet you will be fine!
I think you are being a little hard on yourself.
I FF'd and B was smaller than your DD and I never felt like a failure. Some kids are just smaller.
I'd do like Veloelle said and contact a LC and go from there.
Ok. You've been to the doc. Have you been to a lactation consultant to do a weight check before and after a feeding? Is she actually ACTING like she's still hungry or is she full & happy & content?
You have to stay hydrated, no decongestants, no antihistamines. Those all dry you up to an extent. Dark beer once a week helped my supply, I'd get an ounce or two extra the next day. There's fenugreek/blessed thistle, mothers milk tea (it's gross but I digress)... IF it's something you really want to keep doing.
Even if you do switch her, she may not get big. Some kids are just small and that's ok too. And either way, she's adorable and well cared for. :-)
I just visited with a friend yesterday whose daughter is 6.5 months old, she only weighs 12lbs 13oz so really some children are just going to be smaller. She was born a week late & only weighed 6lbs 7oz, was breastfeed & her Dr never said anything about it so maybe you need a second opinion, especially if the supplementing doesn't make you comfortable.
Michelle
I guess I feel bad b/c he said that her lack of weight gain is probably due to low supply. I don't drink a lot of water and I don't pump often. I guess I think that I should have been on top of these things and maybe then she would be gaining the weight she needs. If she is just small, then why is the Dr concerned? Her growth curve has gone down at this point. I guess I might have to contact an LC if I don't want to give up on this.
EMT - she was 8lbs1oz when she was born.
No, not all doctors have a good understanding of breastfeeding. Also, the growth charts that they use may be based on formula feeding rather than breast feeding, and formula fed babies often do weigh more because, depending on what you eat, your bm may not be as fattening as formula, but it still contains the same nutritional value.
Based on your answers to the questions, I would get to a LC stat before you start the formula. You can try it for a week and then always add the formula if it's not working. The LC will weigh the baby before you feed her and after and you will be able to determine what she is getting.
Also, get a water bottle and continuously fill it up and drink it. Eat oatmeal for breakfast everyday. And pump! I had to pump a lot because DS would fall asleep after eating one side. The LC told me my supply would suffer if I didn't.
Monitor the situation, do what you need to do to get/keep your supply up and if it's not working then supplement. That is what I would do!
Some doctors go overboard with those stupid charts. My dd weighed less than yours does now at her 4 motnh check up, and we were 1 1/2 weeks late for that because she was sick. And she was formula fed. She hit 3% on the chart at her 3 year check up. It was her first time ever on the charts.
If she is happy, and sleeping, etc than I think she is eating what she wants. I would do aas the others suggested and check with an LC.
Don't feel like a failure. You've got a beautiful baby girl. My DD was small (7.5 at birth) and was not gaining as the doctor thought she should and suggested supplimenting (although she was not crying after feedings, etc). I did as he suggested and ended up drying up by the time she was 5 months. She never did get really big. Always in the 95% for height but weight was always low. At a year she weighed 17 lbs. 14 oz. She is an adult now and is 5'8" and weighs a whopping 140 lbs. If she is pooping and peeing and not acting like she is hungry after or in-between feedings I would not suppliment. What might be a good idea is after she nurses to pump. Also, try feeding her at least an extra time during the day...maybe two times. Drinks lots of water and make sure you are getting the proper amount of calories you should daily. I also suggest calling a LC or LLL (they were a huge help to my DD who was having the same issues). I think you are doing fine. Not all doctors are that "up" on BFing and sometimes they are using "formula" charts although my pedi said they account for BFing...but personally I don't believe him (maybe it is the ONLY chart they have).
Ditto everyone else. I would definitely talk to a LC before supplementing and do before/after weight checks when you feed her. My DD is very small. I get asked all of the time (before she talks) if she is 1.5 or almost 2 and she is almost 2.5.
It's perfectly normal for their growth curve to go down as they get older. The only time it is really concerning is if there is a dramatic drop, like 60% to 20% in a month or two. If it drops gradually over time, then it's just genetics catching up to them.
My DD was 60% at birth and now bounces between not on the charts and 3%. But I am very petite--5'1" and size 0 not pregnant and MH is 5'7" and 145 if he's been working out, so our drs have never been too concerned. I did have to take her to a GI dr but she was having other issues in addition to slow growth so they wanted to check her--she is fine.
You should drink water. I also found fenugreek and oatmeal to be helpful, but I would meet with a LC before supplementing if I was in your place. (And FWIW I EBF both kids for a year each).