Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

For those who did tell anyone they were pregnant....

Hi, I only told a few people we were pregnant. Fortunately the few we shared with are extremely supportive. Despite this, my attitude and general energy is down and people I haven't told are noticing. I know I don't have to share anything with them, but other than hiding in my office (which is impossible to do since I'm a supervisor) I don't know what to do. How do these feeling last? Is this a problem for anyone else?

Thanks

Re: For those who did tell anyone they were pregnant....

  • I'm not pregnant... but I wanted to say congrats on your pregnancy and I hope you can relax and enjoy it.
  • I guess I should clarify that I recently miscarried. So we're blessed to have our one, but recently losing our second is hard.
  • Hi there-- so sorry for your loss.  I'm in a similar situation-- although I'm not a supervisor, so I am lucky enough to close the door and ignore people most of the time.  We never told anyone that we were pregnant, and I was very early when I m/c (8.5 wks).  Still, I have a strong feeling the admins that sit outside my office, as well as some of my neighboring colleagues, have a strong inkling as to something being up.  They've been really respectful, only asking how I'm feeling (I started miscarrying thursday, came into work and left to go home sick after a couple hours).  They don't pry, which is good.  Still, it's very very lonely at work...

    Anyway, just try and keep your interactions to a minimum if you want time to yourself, and maybe come late and leave early, or take a day off here and there.  You don't owe anyone any explanations if you don't want to give them, just state simply you're sick, and that's that.  Even supervisors get sick.  Good luck... I don't know how long these feelings last, as I'm still having them.  If it helps, call those friends/family that know of your loss during the day, behind closed doors.  Maybe they can pick you up a bit during the day.

  • I'm very sorry for your loss.  We told very few people we were pg so I know what you're going through.  Most people kept a respectful distance because they could tell something was wrong.  A few good friends asked about what was wrong and we just told them the truth.  We were careful to mention that we didn't tell anyone and to please keep the information to themselves.  SO far they have.

    After about 2 weeks I was able to keep it together at work.  Once I got home it was a different story though.

    I know it's very difficult right now, but it will get better.

     HUGS!!

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    TTCAL buddy to LMichelleG - Praying for a miracle

    PgALbuddy to CanonMom & BriAZ - Congrats on your beautiful little girls Labor Buddy to Luvsbunny

  • You are definitely not alone.  It's been 8 weeks for me and some days I am still pissed off at the world.  A guy that I randomly see at work asked me the other week if everything was ok with me because I seemed "agitated".  Hmmm, here I thought I was doing better. 
  • Sorry for your lost.  I was suppose to have my first appointment today and I had planned to tell my work associates, friends and family the "good news" but I'm glad I didn't or maybe I'm not glad.  My DR did an ultrasound and all that was there was a little empty space where the baby was suppose to be.  I mostly feel confused.  How are we suppose to react?  I debated taking the day off of work, but I thought it would be better to keep my mind busy at work but that hasn't helped. Everyone has noticed that I'm "down" and only a few have pried I've tried to keep to myself today, but I'm a supervisor also and people tend to congregate in my office.  The only person I told really didn't know how to handle it and she left me alone and hasn't talked to me all day, probably because she doesn't feel comfortable.  I guess I'm not really helping you, but I what I'm trying to say is that I understand how you're feeling, I'm in the same boat.  How much time am I suppose to grieve? I was only 7 1/2 weeks pregnant, but I was already in love and she had a name.
  • Sorry for your lost.  I was suppose to have my first appointment today and I had planned to tell my work associates, friends and family the "good news" but I'm glad I didn't or maybe I'm not glad.  My DR did an ultrasound and all that was there was a little empty space where the baby was suppose to be.  I mostly feel confused.  How are we suppose to react?  I debated taking the day off of work, but I thought it would be better to keep my mind busy at work but that hasn't helped. Everyone has noticed that I'm "down" and only a few have pried I've tried to keep to myself today, but I'm a supervisor also and people tend to congregate in my office.  The only person I told really didn't know how to handle it and she left me alone and hasn't talked to me all day, probably because she doesn't feel comfortable.  I guess I'm not really helping you, but what I'm trying to say is that I understand how you're feeling, I'm in the same boat.  How much time am I suppose to grieve? I was only 7 1/2 weeks pregnant, but I was already in love and she had a name.
  • We were in the same boat and actually ended up telling some people who didn't know we were pregnant.  I think it helps to have that extra support!  I'm so sorry you are going through with this- it really sucks.
  • image heckysue:

    I've just been honest..."we were pregnant but holding off on telling anyone, which turned out to be smart because I miscarried...so I'm kind of out of it but I'll be ok, thanks for asking."  I am not going out of my way to tell people but I let them know it's not a huge secret and if people are wondering it's ok to tell, but I don't really feel like talking about it.

     People have been nice but stayed out of the way and this has worked well for me.  It's easier than keeping at as a sad miserable secret, and it helped me connect with a couple women at work who had had similar experiences.

    This, exactly. I told my boss right away because when things started going wrong I kept having to leave to go the doctor. I started a new job and didn't want her to think I had a habit of missing work. Then, after it was confirmed I had had a miscarriage I told one person on my team. She offered to tell our other team members so they would be aware, but told them I didn't want to talk about it. After that, I got a very kind email from a co-worker who had been through the same thing. She didn't pressure me to talk about it, but just said she knew how it felt. I was glad people knew so they didn't just wonder what was wrong with me, but they left me alone.

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