1st Trimester

Um, friends?

I was talking to a friend today and she'd mentioned how pacifiers were a complete life (and mind) saver when she had her LO. I told her my fiance and I aren't planning on using them all the time, just when we're on the phone and for whatever reason can't leave the baby and she says we're making a big mistake. All I said was "I just don't think they should be used excessively, its just another thing we'll have to break them from later if we do" and she went off on me saying I called her a bad mother. Then when I sat there with a look on my face like "where the heck did that come from?" she started saying I was looking at her like she was stupid or something. I just kind of wrote it off because she's pregnant too so it might have just been hormones. 

We believe its not a mistake in doing that because we've done it successfully 4 times already with our foster kids and all of them were born drug addicted and had special medical needs when we got them.

So what're your opinions on pacifiers? When should or shouldn't they be used?

Re: Um, friends?

  • None for us, thanks! My mom never used them, and I agree with her logic. Babies cry for a purpose. And when they aren't crying for any real reason, they want attention. Fine, and understandable. But pacifying (no pun intended) them every time WILL lead to a weaning problem. It WILL become habitual for the parent as well as the child. AND, studies have shown it ruins the shape of their mouths (start saving for braces now!). If people choose to use them, cool. I would never say someone is a bad mom for giving their kid a pacifier.. and no one had better call me one for not! 
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  • I will use them but not excessively.  I just think all kids break that habit eventually so it's not a big deal.  When do you see an 18 year old sucking on a pacifier?
  • Since pacifiers are to satisfy the babies need to suck and can also lower the risk of SIDS I have no issues with them at all.  If DS would not have taken one he would have been attached to my boob 24/7.  We were lucky that he broke the habit himself.  Personally breaking a pacifier habit would be easier then a finger habit.  A pacifier you can take away. 
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  • some babies suck to soothe. DD used one for a few months & didnt seem interested in it, she then found her fingers. She still sucks her fingers & has sucking blisters on her fingers. Sucking is a natural instinct for babies, I think some kids needs paci's and other's dont. Now if something scares or upsets DD she instantly puts her fingers in her mouth & sucks & she immediately calms down. I think that's just how some kids are w/ the paci's. BUT I didn't want DD having one til she was 3 like I see some kids (just not my personal preference) so I was happy she seemed to take up on finger sucking.
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  • We tried them in the hospital because Erica wanted to suck for 5 hours straight and my nipples couldn't handle that.  She used a pacifier for a couple of weeks and then didn't take it after that.  I'm glad we don't have to worry about breaking that habit now. 
  • DD used a certain one for 3 months and it cracked, so I bought her a new one and she didn't want it. I will be using one this time around if the baby wants it.
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  • I've seen it go both ways.  My brother was really attached to his to the point where he started hiding his throughout the house so you couldn't take it away.  He would then go back to where he hid it and suck on it when he could get away with it.  My mom, to this day, moves furniture and finds "binkies".  My brother is 19.

    On the other side of the coin, though, is my neighbor.  Her parents did not give her a pacifier in fear that it would be hard to wean her off.  She took to sucking her index, middle, and ring fingers at the same time instead.  This is a habit that followed her through elementary school all the way through high school.

    That said, I will use a pacifier for this child, but I will not rely on it. 

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  • image Erin0922:
    None for us, thanks! My mom never used them, and I agree with her logic. Babies cry for a purpose. And when they aren't crying for any real reason, they want attention. Fine, and understandable. But pacifying (no pun intended) them every time WILL lead to a weaning problem. It WILL become habitual for the parent as well as the child. AND, studies have shown it ruins the shape of their mouths (start saving for braces now!). If people choose to use them, cool. I would never say someone is a bad mom for giving their kid a pacifier.. and no one had better call me one for not! 

    You might want to do a little research of your own. Times and studies have changed since your mom's time of raising kids. 

    First off, using a pacifier has been linked to a reduced risk of SIDS. 

    Second, the sucking helps them to be soothed. Trying reading Happiest Baby on The Block for more on this issue.

    Third, unless the child is using the pacifier for years and years (say past the age of 2), there is no link to needing braces or speech issues because of pacifier use. My background is in speech therapy, so I've have a few classes on anatomy (and several specifically focused on the A&P of the speech mechanism) and know how language/speech develops.

  • I am a neonatal nurse and mother of 2 (with one on the way)...In hospitals we use non-nutritive sucking as a developmentally appropriate means to calm, soothe, and relieve the pain of colic and/or procedures.  Used responsibly pacifiers are appropriate.  As a now experienced mother, I think that it may be dangerous to declare now what you 'will' or 'will not' do.  As a baby nurse I thought I knew it all until I had my first child, but let me tell you, he taught me a thing or two! 
  • With Riley I would say, oh I am never using paci's, nipple confusion blah blah blah but after she started using my effing nipple to comfort suck I threw all my pre concieved notions out the window and popped that paci in and I haven't looked back.  We had no issues and nursed successfully until about 17 months.

    She's now 19 months and clearly understands that her paci is for sleeping only.  We taught her to take it out of her mouth and leave it in her crib when she wakes up.  It's actually really cute when she's up and wants out of her crib she does a very dramatic removal of the paci and throws it down.  It's hilarious :)

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  • P.S. it's ridiculous for anyone to call you a bad mother for something so stupid.
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  • image Erin0922:
    None for us, thanks! My mom never used them, and I agree with her logic. Babies cry for a purpose. And when they aren't crying for any real reason, they want attention. Fine, and understandable. But pacifying (no pun intended) them every time WILL lead to a weaning problem. It WILL become habitual for the parent as well as the child. AND, studies have shown it ruins the shape of their mouths (start saving for braces now!). If people choose to use them, cool. I would never say someone is a bad mom for giving their kid a pacifier.. and no one had better call me one for not! 

    LOL, talk to me when your baby is 6 months old and we'll see if you are still singing this song :)

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  • I knew a woman who could not break her kid of her pacifier. I think the baby might have been 3 or older...Anyways, the mom got the Dr. at her kids next visit to do/say something about the pacifier. As soon as the Dr. walked in...he took the pacifier out of her mouth and threw it in the trash bin and said that it was bid and the little girl never once cried or needed it from that day forward.

    I haven't decided what I will do about pacifiers. I really hope my baby doesn't care for them but I am just tryting to stay open minded. I don't want to use them all the time for sure.

  • I'll probably use them but not excessively.  My parents used them with me and I couldn't be broken of the habit until I was 3 or 4 years old.  Apparently my mom was so desperate to break me of the habit that she put all my pacifiers (except the one that was in my mouth) in a plastic bag, took me to the toy store, had me pick out a toy and then told me I had to "pay" for the toy with my pacifiers and I couldn't have them back.  I had a temper tantrum in the middle of the store, but she kept firm and said "If you want the dolly you have to give the lady your pacies."  After I realized she wasn't backing down I gave up and gave my pacifiers away and took the doll.
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  • I'm not a pacifer fan, but I can see why she got defensive. After she told you she used something all the time, you told her why you would never use what she did.

     

    Its fine to tell her, of course, but moms are judged all.the.time and therefore its easy to get defensive about it. I personally would have simply said "we are going to try to not use them but we'll see how it goes." End of story.

  • I am not really a big fan of pacifiers.  I don't think they are very good for a babys developing jaw and teeth.  I don't think I will be inclined to give my child a pacifier just to keep them quiet.  By having a child be dependent on a pacifier I see huge problems when you try to get rid of it.  Not to mention if a new baby is brought into the home after the weaning is done.  The older child will see that a the chance to get the pacifier back and be treated like a baby again.  This is not a good situation in my eyes.

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  • We will be using a pacifer just not excessively.  I never took a pacifer but DH sucked his fingers.  I think weaning a child from sucking on their fingers would be much more difficult than weaning them from a pacifer.  I didn't take a pacifer or suck on my fingers, but I was extremely hard to wean from the bottle according to everyone in my family, so I figure my work is cut out for me either way.

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