Baby Showers

baby shower for baby #2? DS will be 6??

I had a baby shower for my first child a son in 2004. I*m now due in april 2010. is 6 years far enough to have another shower? My mother asked if i would want to have another one but I*m not sure how people would look at it. she said when she had my brother and I there were 8 years between us so she thought it was ok but my friend had 2 boys only 16 months apart and had 2 showers...what do you all think about it??
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Re: baby shower for baby #2? DS will be 6??

  • I think a second shower is in poor taste, no matter how far between children.
  • I would be less judgmental if baby #2 is a diff. gender.  You can also have a Welcome Baby party instead.
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  • Depends on where you are and what is the norm in your community. IMO 5 years apart is far enough to have another shower--and if someone is willing to throw it then id say go for it--esp if it is a different gender.

    I am having one small "sprinkle" at a tea house this time--DS will be 5 and we are having a girl this time around . . .

    BFP#1 twins--m/c Baby B-- DC#1 DS 03/22/05 BFP#2 m/c 2006 BFP#3/DC#2 DD 10/22/09 BFP #4! EDD 9/15/12 at 9 dpo BabyFruit Ticker
  • I'm throwing a shower for my sister for her third baby.  All of her children have been five or more years apart. I like throwing parties. Our families like going to parties. Personally, I think all babies should be celebrated. It isn't always about the gifts.  

    If the people in your circle are regular readers of Emily Post, it might be different, but if they prefer to just have fun, celebrate the mom and exchange horrendous birth stories, I say, "Why not?"

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  • So a second baby is less special than the first??  It is to shower the BABY with gifts and necessities.  Do you know how much things change is 5-6 years?  Car seats go out of date, etc...
  • Mine will be six years apart too, and I still remember how overwhelmingly generous everyone was back then.  It was wonderful, but I would feel weird having another shower.  We'll host a Meet the Baby open house (no gifts) when the wee one is a few months old instead.
  • Totally appropriate.
    TTC since 2005. DS via IVF - 02/10 Baby #2 - due 10/16/11
  • Ditto pp, totally appropriate. The BABY deserves it, enjoy it!

  • This isn't common in my circles, but sometimes we do something simple after the baby arrives.  We once did a little Welcome Baby party and asked people to bring a book. Or just have a lunch at your house and specify no gifts. 

    These are tough times . ..  I just can't imagine asking people to buy me baby gifts for a second child.  

  • image s_currie:
    So a second baby is less special than the first??  It is to shower the BABY with gifts and necessities.  Do you know how much things change is 5-6 years?  Car seats go out of date, etc...

     I think it is totally appropriate.  Pretty  much everything you already have is outdated/expired.  If you have someone willing to throw one, I would accept.  I definitely would not make it a huge shower, but close friends and family only. 

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  • image Sunsh1ne:
    I think a second shower is in poor taste, no matter how far between children.

    Ditto.  Your choice to have a child = your responsibility to pay for your child and his/her needs.

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  • image northtamarack:

    image Sunsh1ne:
    I think a second shower is in poor taste, no matter how far between children.

    Ditto.  Your choice to have a child = your responsibility to pay for your child and his/her needs.

    Ditto both.  The baby can be celebrated in many, many ways - a shower is not the only option. 
  • Because it has been six years I say go for it.  In my family all babies are celebrated regardless of the years between them. 
  • If your mom asked if you want one, then its okay with one of the most important ppl in your family...I would do it. 

     Baby showers aren't just for gifts, its a way of welcoming a baby into the world.  Why should only a first baby get that.  I agree with someone else who said have a "welcome baby" shower.  PPL will bring gifts, but you don't really need to set up a registry.  Some ppl will even ask you what you still need.  Because lets face it, six years has gone by since you've had a baby in your house, chances are you gave away a lot of your stuff and also gear has changed alot in six years, you'll  be needing new things.  

    When my sister has a second baby, I am totally giving her another shower, we may call it something else, but really its just a good old fashioned reason to celebrate something and be happy with life.  I say do it!  

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  • I would throw more of a party...and not call it a "shower". Then, if people want to bring you gifts (which I'm sure a lot of them will) they can, but no one feels like they HAVE to.
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  • I'm torn.  I definitely don't agree with the your choice to have another child=your responsibility.  People like to buy gifts for babies.  Period. 

    I am a firm believer, by the way, that a baby shower is for the BABY not for the mom.  When you get KU, it's not about you anymore, no matter how you slice it.  But I'm not getting into that here, a whole 'nother debate ;).

    So, since most of the stuff you have is probably expired, out of date, could have been recalled, I would say, go for it.  Even more so that your mom wants to throw you one.  It's not like you are asking for one ...

    good luck!

  • I agree.  I think it is in poor taste to have a more than one baby shower, let alone for the second child.  I don't think people see it as an opportunity to get gifts for the baby.  I've seen too many people get greedy with what they ask for. 
  • image tnpjuly04:

     

    I am a firm believer, by the way, that a baby shower is for the BABY not for the mom.  When you get KU, it's not about you anymore, no matter how you slice it.  But I'm not getting into that here, a whole 'nother debate ;).

     

    I don't know . . . I've met an awful lot of attention whores in my day.  ;-)  Some (ok, most) showers I've been to have been about celebrating the expectant mom . . . and the baby just gets the cute clothes.  But it is pretty much all about the mom at these things.  

  • I say you go ahead and have your baby shower. Each baby should be celebrated and you should not feel guilty because this isn't your 1st shower or anything! And a great deal of time has passed since you had your first regardless of gender, if anyone feels that it's tacky then they'll more than likely not show up or give a gift. 
  • I don't think it's tacky at all! To me it seems no different than a birthday party for your child, and certainly you wouldn't give a party to one and not the other!


    A baby shower isn't about gifts anyways, its about spending time with people you care about and in some cases getting to meet the baby and most importantly celebrating the birth/ or birth-to-be of an amazing child!


    You can rest assured that if people think it's tacky or that you are being greedy just won't show up and be honest, if people think of you that way, would you really want them there in the first place?

    I recently threw a shower for a friend of mine who has a two year old boy and just had another little boy, and I also planning on having one when my second bundle of joy arrives!

  • I think so much time has elapsed that many people will want to come and celebrate. And if they don't, they won't attend. I would not attend a shower for someone who had had a baby within the past two years, unless they had some incident which caused the loss of their original baby stuff (fire, flood, etc).

    I also think that, if you do register, you should register for small items only. That will create the right spirit for the event-- small tokens of caring about you and baby.

    Finally, I would think that you would keep the invite list down to people you KNOW would love to attend. Now is not the time to think of every lady you know.

    So that's my .02. I don't think you will necessarily come off as greedy if you are careful to create the right spirit behind the event. 

    .
  • I'm throwing my sister a small shower for her 2nd child. Her first was 6 years ago, and i was 19 and in college - not quite suited to be able to throw her the shower she deserved.

    So now that i'm 25, I really want to be able to do something for her, since she's had such a tough time getting PG this time around (went through a miscarrage early last year and has been trying for almost 2 years). Now that she's finally having her girl (1st was a boy), i just want to celebrate PINK! She is not going to register, and it'll just be a gathering to get the necessities for the baby (i'll be having a Diaper Cake Contest and tell everyone to bring something pink for the baby). If someone i invite has a problem with it, they dont have to come. Plain and simple.

  • Contrary to what many people believe, a baby shower is not a celebration of the new baby.  It is not even technically for the baby.  It is to shower the MOTHER with much needed things she will use for the baby.  You can't celebrate something that isn't even there!  You are not celebrating the birth of a baby when it hasn't even happened yet.  That is for "welcome baby parties" or "sprinkles" after baby is born.

    Sure...things are outdated...but do you really think back in the day people got new stuff with every child?  Obviously if there is a safety issue (car seat, etc) then that is different but in the last 5 years that has not been a problem unless you have some item that was recalled...in which case you should have already returned and exchanged it.

    Have a party after the birth of your chlld (boy or girl).  People WILL bring gifts and you do not have to put "no gifts please" on the invite (that just sounds ignorant).  They are not obligated to bring a gift but most will.

  • I vote for a Welcome baby party.  IMO those are much more fun. I don't think a second shower is tacky though, just have one with just family.  They are the ones that would be more supportive of  a second shower anyway.

  • I'm having another shower. My kids will be 14yrs apart. My first child I had while still in high school and well let's just say it wasn't like people were happy to celebrate my new child at the time. We did have a baby shower that i paid for most of it with a settlement and my cousin (16 @ the time) wrote on the invites that she was hosting. Now my sister who was 13 when I had my daughter wants to have a shower for me. She is. At first I wasn't sure about it but honestly I think that 14yrs is a long time between kids. It's not like I kept any of her stuff and with the struggle we had with infertility it's  going to be nice to celebrate all of this! And honestly anything beyond 5+yrs I see nothing wrong with having another shower. According to most people I talk to that is the norm.
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