She was smoking when she was newly PG, saying, "I'm doing good, I'm down to like 4 or 5 a day." This I know was BS because one evening I saw her go out to smoke like 4 times in a matter of 3 hours. My brother smokes too, and sticks up for her, saying she's "doing good" because she used to smoke 2 packs a day before getting PG. BTW, my brother also smokes right next to her, even in the house, even in the room they sleep in. I've even seen him hand her cigarettes.
EVERYONE has been saying things to her: me, my mom, my other brother and FSIL, her family, her friends, her co-workers, etc. Her response is always, "I know..." in a guilty tone.
She's 18 weeks now, and I thought she was done, that she had quit because I hadn't seen her smoke in quite a while. Well...I went to my parents' house for a visit the other day, and I looked out on their back patio to see where everyone was when I got there, and there she was, taking her last big puff off a cigarette and putting it out. My heart broke at that second. I did not speak to either of them for the rest of the visit. I stayed in a different room because I couldn't stand to be around them. They came in to say goodbye to me and I was short with them.
My parents won't say anything to either of them, and don't want us to either, because they don't want to make waves within the family. My mom smoked while she was PG with all 3 of us. That was in the 70s, and according to her and other moms I know from that era, they "weren't aware" that it was bad for the baby...I don't know just how true that is, but whatever. My mom said that if she would've known then what she knows now about it, she would've quit immediately. But, she said something once to my SIL and has not said anything since. This is probably why my brother thinks it's ok to smoke while PG ("all 3 of us are fine," he says), and why SIL feels ok doing it in front of them. My parents get upset when my other brother and FSIL & I say anything about it.
I feel so heartbroken for my little niece or nephew. It makes me so sad just to think about it, and this should be a happy time for the family. I wish there was something I could do to make them stop. My brother said she was even looking on the internet at articles about smoking while PG and "getting freaked out." Not freaked out enough to stop, I guess. This is causing an emotional rift in our family and I don't know what to do. Does anyone know of any articles that are particularly frightening about smoking while PG that I could email to them? I don't know if that would do any good, but maybe it's worth a try...
Any other suggestions? Or should I just stay out of it?
I appreciate any advice - thanks in advance.