2nd Trimester

shower related question

So I have held firmly that Im not having a shower since no one has offered or brought it up. I have people ask me all the time when itll be & about registering, etc and I answer that I dont think Im having one. The one day my dh kept making faces when I was responding this way & then said something to the effect that "something was in the works".

I just dont see how someone could throw me a shower (or who would do it) without consulting me on a date or a guest list since there are HUGE family issues on both sides of our families. Then I got to thinking 'god i hope dh didnt start this' since I didnt confide in him that I was a little sad about not having one.

So my question is: would you question dh further about what is going on? Im sure if I pressed he would tell me, but if it is a surprise I wouldnt want to ruin it, but I also dont want him throwing me a shower or something stupid like that. Id also be concerned about how was/wasnt being invited & dh would never pay attention to these things. My dh has also been known to say stupid things, so there could still be no shower & he just made some stupid comment assuming someone might throw one & I would hate to get my hopes up only to still not end up having one. Gosh, I Hope that makes sense.

Re: shower related question

  • I would deffinately question him further, but then I also don't like surprises.  I would definately want to be consulted on who was invited and when it was held, plus it makes sense to not want to get your hopes up if there really isn't going to be one. 
  • I've heard of people being thrown "surprise showers"... where really, they had no clue what was going on.  I would not be a fan of a surprise shower either though... it's a nice thought, but I'm much more the planner and would rather want to be sure I had my registry up to date and I'd want to know when it was so that I could be looking and feeling my best that day.
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  • You could come right out and tell him that if he is aware that someone is planning something, he might want to let them know that people are asking you if anything is going on and you are telling them no.  He may also want to pass along to the planner, that your schedule is pretty full and in order to make sure you are available they may want to check dates with you and see if you have any guest preferences, etc.
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  • I think it is a big enough surprise to see your baby for the first time.  You don't need to have a surprise shower.  That is just cruel to put you in that spot.  I would totally question DH and find out what is going on.
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  • I would push, at the risk of ruining a little of the surprise. What if someone that you care about is forgotten? I'd feel bad.

    My friend and my mom are planning mine, but I just asked that they let me give them a date and my list of names and they can add anyone else they want.

    Or is there anyway you could leave a list...give to him in a "just in case" you know of someone that might want to know about who to invite to a shower?

  • Yes, I would definitely question DH, but I also hate surprises.  I am not sure that I am having one either.  My mom lives 1,000 miles away, and I certainly am not going to impose on my local girlfriends to host (& I don't even have that many close by!) so we'll just see what happens, I guess.
  • I'd question it.  I am not a fan of being surprised, and certainly not with a shower.  Plus your input is needed for the invite list etc.  I'd ask him for sure!
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