2nd Trimester

I want to find out... DH doesn't

Anyone else in this position???

I really want to know!  DH keeps saying "there are so few surprises in life"

I'm trying to study everyone's ultrasound pics so I can attempt to spy at the ultrasound!

Re: I want to find out... DH doesn't

  • lol. we were able to tell without the tech telling us. it was very obvious by the baby's position as soon as the u/s wand went on my belly. not sure if they angle it differently so you cant tell if you dont want to find out.
  • We were the opposite. I caved and we found out! I think it's a fun surprise, but it's also fun knowing :)
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  • Is there any way you can find out and keep it a secret? I know I would never be able to do that, but lots of people have more self control than I do.
  • Do you think maybe your DH will let you know w/o having the u/s tech tell him???

  • I could have gone either way, but DH really wanted to be the one to say "Honey, we have a _________" in the delivery room. I'm happy with our decision and honestly, I'll give this to him. Everything else about this pregnancy is about hwat I want and need and so I'm happy to go with the surprise if it means a lot to him.
  • Thats how we were with our first.  I really wanted to know and he didnt.  When it  came down to it, he got his way.  Hannah was uncooperative and didn't show us the goods!  Having it be a suprise was sooooo fun though!!

    I am torn this time whether to try to find out or not with this one.  I guess we'll just see what happens.

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  • We were the opposite, DH wanted to know but I didnt.  Since we knew we wanted 2 (now on our 3rd, plans changed :-)), we decided to not find out with the first and find out with the second
  • We were in the same position. DH finally broke down and said he'd find out, but then kind of backed off during the u/s. Our baby's gender is in a sealed envelope and has been there for a few weeks now. I have decided that I'm with your DH (and mine). We will probably not open the envelope. Our first was a surprise and I loved doing it that way.
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  • I am in the same boat. We didn't find out with our son and it was an AWESOME surpirse but it was very hard not knowing. This time is even harder because if it is a boy he will be born in December and my son was born in Jan. The clothes I have will be for the same seasons and I could start getting things prepared before the baby comes. Men of course DO NOT understand this!

    Anyway I decided to stop pushing him and wait the 21 weeks I have left to find out. I am like you though. I keep looking at gender ultrasound pictures on line and everyone elses on the boards here! Too funny!

  • Tell your husband it will be a surprise at 20 weeks as well as at 40 weeks.  What's the difference between a few weeks...it's a surprise regardless of how long you wait :)
  • How about a compromise? Can only the two of you find out and tell no one. I am probably no help as I am a team green member. DH is on the fence about it but he has too big of a mouth that he wont keep it a secret if we find out. Good luck
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  • We are in the same position...and it stinks!  I want to know sooo badly and he just won't budge!  Good luck!
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  • You can tell the tech that one of you wants to know and the other doesn't.  Then he/she won't spoil the surprise for DH but they can tell you for sure one way or the other. 
  • image SaranJonathan:
    How about a compromise? Can only the two of you find out and tell no one. I am probably no help as I am a team green member. DH is on the fence about it but he has too big of a mouth that he wont keep it a secret if we find out. Good luck

    That is what we are doing.

    A lot of it stems from the fact that it wasn't so much that DH didn't want to know as he didn't want everyone else to know. I think he sort of had this image in his head of telling everyone the news in the waiting room, if that makes sense.

    A few alternatives:

    -If you can keep a secret and your husband agrees, then have the tech write it down and look at it later.  Switch your pronouns or pick a nickname for the LO that you ALWAYS use instead of using pronouns.

    -Ask if your husband would be ok with you taking a look and guessing for yourself.  The tech won't say anything or confirm to you, but DH can close his eyes.  That way it is still a surprise - you could be very wrong! - but you get a guess.  This won't work if you are totally attached to the idea and could be wrong on delivery day.

    -Get your husband to agree that the tech can write it down and you'll go shopping for 2 different coming home outfits or bedding sets or whatever.  Take them both to the register and tell them that you want the correct one gift-wrapped so it will be a surprise for you but you'll still have a gender-specific item and when you get home with it - peek when he's not around and you can hide it again.


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  • With DS we were in the same position, DH didn't want to find out but I did.  I bugged him about it for the whole pregnancy.  That is until a stupid tech told us by mistake.  Of course after having waited for 37 weeks to find out I was a little pissed that she let it slip.  I ended up having DS a week and a half later so finding out then really didn't matter.

    Anyway, I tried all kinds of reasons why we should find out...it is a surprise no matter if we find out now or later, it would be nice to buy/decorate for a specific gender, etc.  None of it worked.

    Anyway, we compromised by not finding out with the first pregnancy but all others we get to find out as soon as possible.

  • We were in the exact same position -- until we got into the ultrasound and my husband was in awe.....he caved in as soon as he saw the baby on that screen!

  • It's great to know like me I found out with both of my previous pregnancy's and I will find out for this one too cause it's so nice to go out and find the cutest little girl or boy outfits for your LO. Maybe he will come around to finding out what the sex is.. GL!!
  • It's your body!  You should be able to find out if you want to!  Though I'm lucky that DH and I both wanted to know.  I personally like that I've been able to buy pink and refer to the baby as 'she' instead of 'it'.  :)
  • image Missy42807:
    Tell your husband it will be a surprise at 20 weeks as well as at 40 weeks.  What's the difference between a few weeks...it's a surprise regardless of how long you wait :)

    We were in the same position and this was my first argument.  I honestly feel like we'll be just as thrilled at 20 weeks vs 40 weeks.  

    I also offered to try and keep it a secret since our nursery colors will be neutral anyway.  But I think what got him is how I want to paint the letters of our LO's name for the wall and also a mural...he understood that that was really important to me and would probably not be done after our LO is born.  And now he is just as excited as me.

    To make it more fun, we're getting the gender in an envelope and taking it to a bakery for either frosting filled cupcakes or a cake and finding out with the rest of our families at dinner the next night.

  • I'm going to see if I can get a sealed envelope and then decide later on if I want to open it (like maybe open it on my b-day in September!)

    I'm working on DH with the whole we'll find out and not tell anyone routine... we'll see if that works!
    I was okay with not finding out at first since like someone else said- he doesn't ask for much.  But the closer we get to the ultrasound the harder it is going to be!

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