3rd Trimester

People who ask how much weight have you gained....

So, I have coworkers (not friends just coworkers) who ask me how much weight I have gained so far.  I have put on weight slowly and have remained active so I am not worried and my doc hasn't had the "weight talk" with me yet...notice I said yet!  :-)  But, I just think it is rude of them to ask that...I want to say back....well, how much do you weigh?  Just to make them realize it is a rude question but maybe I am just being hypersensitive? I just always say..."oh, I am not revealing that!" with a laugh if I don't feel like answering...what does everyone think?

Re: People who ask how much weight have you gained....

  • It seems blatantly rude to ask a pregnant woman that question, IMO!
  • I don't understand why people care.  Obviously my body will tell you if I've gained a little or a lot.  Oh well.  Some people are just nosy and jealous that you still look better than them when you are pregnant ;-)
  • afgafg member

    No, they shouldn't ask, but people are dumb and rude and don't think.

    I had someone ask me at my shower while I was opening gifts in front of everyone...I just responded with 'not a lot' and moved on.

  • Tell them "My doctor's happy with what I've gained."  A woman I work with was due a week before me, and we would compare what we gained.  But I only work with 10 other people, so we all know each other really well.
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  • It doesn't bother me when family asks, like my mom or DH...but I've had strangers ask, and that's just too weird for me. It's like, why do you care how much I've gained, you don't even know me!!
  • My boss has asked me this a few times, but I think it's mostly b/c his fiance is also pregnant..about 3 months behind me, so he's generally just curious. No one else has asked me, but I'm not sure I'd really care - it is what it is, just a number. But I don't think it's appropriate to ask either.
  • I hate that question too.  I usually just say something like "I'm within range".  I get it a lot at work from clients, who I can't be rude to. 
  • It amazes me that people ask this! I got it a lot more with my first pregnancy for some reason. I never gave an answer. I would say I didn't know or "a lot!" My mom recently asked me and even though she is my mom, I hated that she asked.

    Most people didn't know how much I'd gained with DS until after he was born AND I lost it all. Then I could finally talk about it. :)

  • Thats definitely rude to ask. PG or not... IMO

    no one has really asked how much i weigh i did get a few how much have you gained questions from my co-workers but i just say not much or enough or...my all time favorite its Why does it matter?

    Bc if you really think abt it.. why does it matter to them?? they shouldnt be asking you that anyways.

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  • aciaacia
    Long-Lasting Membership 1000 Comments
    member

    I've been asked this too, mostly by DH's extended family - and I find it incredibly rude. I just sort of laugh awkwardly and try to brush it off, though one time DH's cousin wouldn't drop it, and insisted I tell her. When I told her I'd gained 20lbs (this was at 28 weeks), she said "Whoa, you should probably stop eating. I only gained 20lbs the entire pregnancy, and you've still got 3 months to go." I just looked at her with a shocked expression on my face.

    All I can say is that I agree it's totally inappropriate, though I tend to be sensitive about the weight topic even when I'm not pregnant. Some people are more open about this stuff, I guess....

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  • I think it's a personal thing where some people care and some don't.  Personally, I don't care to share.  If someone asks, I'll tell them, but it's not a big deal to me.  I'm pregnant, and don't see it as the same as when people ask non-pregnant women how much they weigh.  I think it's interesting to see different symptoms, weight gain, cravings etc. for different people.  But wouldn't ask anyone about their weight gain, unless it's my sister or best friend :)  It's the comments and advice about how much I don't know or that I'm not prepared, that I'm not a fan of. 

  • I have seriously been SHOCKED at how many people actually ask this.

    My family asks.  My clients ask.  My coworkers ask.  It's the rudest question ever.

    & I just smile & say, "My doctor is happy with it."

    and then I get a lecture about how I don't want to have to lose all that weight after the baby arrives, so watch what I eat.

    gee, thnx.

  • I give idiots the benefit of the doubt when asked this question and tell them "the average weight gain during pregnancy is 25-35 lbs and I'm on track." I do think most people have no idea how much pg women are supposed to gain, so I educate them on that and basically tell them nothing personal about me (without saying "Shove it! How much have YOU gained over the past 7 months?")
  • I say "the baby's about 6 pounds now" or whatever it is, and leave it at that.. do they also want to know my boobs went up 2 sizes too??

    ?

  • I woudl say "A healthy amount of weight for baby. how much weight have YOU gained in the last _____ many months you have been PG". :) It is rude and you aren't being hypersensitive.  It is inappropriate to discuss weight no matter what.
  • image BlairWaldorf:

    and then I get a lecture about how I don't want to have to lose all that weight after the baby arrives, so watch what I eat.

    gee, thnx.

    I'd respond with "well you don't want to lose your conversation privileges with me, so you better watch what you say." Morons.

  • That IS rude.  I would probably just say I havent been keeping track or something.  I think you handled it well.
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  • I think its incredibly rude to ask something like that!  My weight- and exercise-obsessed SIL asked DH how much weight I had gained awhile ago....he side stepped the question and she hasn't asked again since....but I would have thought that her of all people would have been more conscious of asking about something like that! 
  • I was asked this by one co-worker but she's never had kids and I think she was genuinely curious and wasn't being rude. Coming from other people, I might have taken it differently.

  • i think it's totally rude...and someone didn't even ask me how much i gained, but how much i actually weighed. YEAH RIGHT. i won't let brian know how much i weigh now (though if he did the math, he would know) so why would i tell a coworker?
  • yaleyale
    Long-Lasting Membership 2500 Comments
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    DHs family tends to ask that a lot. I don't even share that info with DH. Hate it.
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  • I dont know why people care. It is rude to ask, you wouldnt ask any other non-pregnant woman. Some people like to compare.
  • I get shocked each time people ask me this!  So annoying.  It's none of your damn business. 
  • image At1stsight:
    image BlairWaldorf:

    and then I get a lecture about how I don't want to have to lose all that weight after the baby arrives, so watch what I eat.

    gee, thnx.

    I'd respond with "well you don't want to lose your conversation privileges with me, so you better watch what you say." Morons.

    I love this response!

    My MIL (who lives in another state and won't see me until after baby s here) said to me yesterday, "You're not gaining too much weight are you?" I was really offended and said the doctor said my weight is fine. I don't think she meant anything by it, but weight gain is a very sensitive issue for me.

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  • that is really rude... especially if they're not your friends.
  • I'm so tired of hearing about weight gain while I am pregnant and being compared to others. You are SUPPOSED to gain weight when you are pregnant! It's no one else's business how much I am gaining. I wish people would stop comparing my size to other people or themselves. I honestly think everyone's body grows how it needs to grow to support a baby. Everyone is different! As long as my doctor is not worried, I'm not worried. I think she is a better judge of how much weight I should be gaining then any coworker or friend or family member.
  • My almost 92-year-old grandmother keeps asking me this. I tell her I'm right on track... even if I'm a bit over.  I don't want to be compared to my younger cousin, who is a dancer and probably only gained 20-25 lb with each of HER pregnancies.

    Otherwise, nobody else has. Thank goodness!

     

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