1st Trimester

Unsympathetic H?

He is driving me crazy!!!!!  Everytime I say I am sick or tired he doesnt completely get it.  He's like "suck it up" "oh your sick again - eye roll" "you felt fine to go out with your friend yesterday".  I wish I could make him feel like this for one day then maybe he would understand.  He really thinks I am milking it.  Like yesterday when I was so sick from glucose test and having so much blood drawn, he was like - oh come on youve done this a few times now - its not that bad.  If he tells me its not that bad one more time you may hear about me on TV - LOL!!!!

Anyone else have an unsympathetic H?

Re: Unsympathetic H?

  • My DH is usually pretty understanding....however, I find that sometimes when I am "complaining" he chimes in "me too".  I was telling him I've been really tired lately and he says "me too".  Well, no I don't think you understand this kind of tired DH! It annoys me, but I don't think he even realizes he's doing it.
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  • Exactly!  H says me too as well.  He's like I worked 10 hours - I am like - I am growing a BABY!!!!!!!
  • image erinrae1011:
    Exactly!  H says me too as well.  He's like I worked 10 hours - I am like - I am growing a BABY!!!!!!!

     How about I worked 10 hours AND I'm growing a baby! 

  • I can't relate as my DH is extremely sympathetic, but I think, in addition to his normal nature, it's because very early on (5 weeks) I bought him a couple of "dad" pregnancy books and he's picked up and read my books and magazines, as well, over the last couple of months. The more he read the more understanding he became with everything because he's realized what it means to be pregnant rather than just hearing my complaints about aches, pains and tiredness. Maybe you could buy your DH a book or two?
  • I think my DH is over it at this point. I have had so much morning sickness and then my rib got dislocated. I think he's disappointed that I'm not a healthier pregnant lady. It's not like I can help it though.

  • To the OP my husband says the exact same things yours does. He's read 2 books and I dont think he will have too much sympathy for me until my belly gets big. I think he is thinking how can something that is still pretty small make you that miserable. If only they knew!!
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  • It's not that bad?  Uh...how 'bout telling him that  a kick to the balls can't possibly hurt as much as men say it does and offer to test it for him if he says it again.
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  • image Mrs.Husband:
    I can't relate as my DH is extremely sympathetic, but I think, in addition to his normal nature, it's because very early on (5 weeks) I bought him a couple of "dad" pregnancy books and he's picked up and read my books and magazines, as well, over the last couple of months. The more he read the more understanding he became with everything because he's realized what it means to be pregnant rather than just hearing my complaints about aches, pains and tiredness. Maybe you could buy your DH a book or two?

     

    This. I bought a book for my husband too. It has helped A LOT, the book explains what could be going on with my emotions/body at each stage and he seems to enjoy reading it.

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  • image Anniekins214:
    It's not that bad?  Uh...how 'bout telling him that  a kick to the balls can't possibly hurt as much as men say it does and offer to test it for him if he says it again.

    YesYes

    TTC #2 Since October '10

    BFP 4/04/11 -- M/C 4/09/11

    BFP 12/21/2011 -- CP 12/26/2011

    BFP 1/26/2012 -- CP 1/28/2012

    BFP 2/25/2012 EDD 11/03/12

    MMC: 4/16/12 at 11w2d -- Baby measured 10w3d -- D&C 4/19/2012

    BFP 6/15/2012 -- Suspected Ectopic 6/25/2012 -- MTX 7/03/2012

    BFP 11/22/2012 -- CP 11/24/2012


    BFP 12/31/2012 EDD 09/14/2013

    My Ticker




    Our boy, Jude is here!

    BFP 3/31/09 -- Miscarriage 4/09/09

    BFP 5/12/09 EDD 1/21/10

    Born on 12/31/09 with severe GBS infection


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  • No, my husband is reading 2 books and is really into them. Everytime I say something, he responds, "Yeah my book says xxxx. You should xxxxx."

    I try not to complain much but honestly, I cannot imagine being able to stay calm if he ever told me to suck it up.

  • image snwqnbride:

    image erinrae1011:
    Exactly!  H says me too as well.  He's like I worked 10 hours - I am like - I am growing a BABY!!!!!!!

     How about I worked 10 hours AND I'm growing a baby! 

    This! Exactly.

  • My husband was a completely idoit in the beginnning before it came "real". I would be puking and he would be "this is what you wanted, remember". I didn't leave my bed for two weeks between 6-8 weeks and he basically did nothing to help. After we told his parents last week and some more family it became 'real' to him. People call and ask about me, his Mom asks him to help me out more, and "accidently" leave articles about M/S etc out for him to read and understand. The last two week have been a complete change from the beginning. I think it is hard on guys to all of a sudden have there wife change, all this new pressure and new worries and they don't  know how to deal with it. So being a jerk comes easy. Don't worry, he will understand and be back to his loving self soon.
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  • UGHHH I have the same problem.  Every time I tell him I'm tired or something I get the eye roll and he acts like I'm making all this up just to have an excuse to lay down, and reminds me that he just worked for 12 hours. 

    Although, I bought What To Expect When You're Expecting and marked off the chapter for dads and left it in the bathroom for him, and now it's getting better.  I agree with the others, get some books so he can see that you're really not just being lazy, but it's really exhausting to make a baby!

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  • image EmKo0210:
    My DH is usually pretty understanding....however, I find that sometimes when I am "complaining" he chimes in "me too".  I was telling him I've been.

     

    OMG mine too.  It's nice to know I'm not the only one.

  • image Luciddream328:

    UGHHH I have the same problem.  Every time I tell him I'm tired or something I get the eye roll and he acts like I'm making all this up just to have an excuse to lay down, and reminds me that he just worked for 12 hours. 

    Although, I bought What To Expect When You're Expecting and marked off the chapter for dads and left it in the bathroom for him, and now it's getting better.  I agree with the others, get some books so he can see that you're really not just being lazy, but it's really exhausting to make a baby!

    Ha ha! I've put our baby book in the bathroom too! I always put anything I want my husband to read in there! He calls the bathroom "his office"

  • FORTUNATELY ... my MIL is a retired nurse.  So my DH is more up with things and changes that women go through.  His first wife experienced many problems and their second pregnancy almost killed her.  So, best wishes to you and I hope these other DH's can get some understanding, patience and knowledge on what you're going through.
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