3rd Trimester

stressed about this dilemma--WWYD?

Tomorrow I have my 40 week appointment and I can schedule an induction date.

My body doesn't seem to be ready for labor.  I'm 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced.  I have occasional contractions but nothing that ever builds towards anything.  In a perfect world, I would want to schedule and induction at the last possible date.

However...My mother is coming into town on July 3rd.  She bought plane tickets in advance for two weeks after the due date.  This is not a fun visit for me, she's staying at a hotel and I just can't flat out tell my mom not to come at all. 

The original plan was that my stepmom will be at my birth and was going to stay at my house for the first week.  If I wait to be induced, I will not have that week with my stepmom.  I won't have any in-home help and my DH has law school classes, so he can't miss more than two days. 

I can't tell my mom not to come.  I can't hurt her feelings by telling her that my stepmom is allowed to stay at our house, and she isn't.  My stepmom is willing to stay at hotel, but is worried that my mom would make everything a pissing contest between the two of them...and she would.

So do I go with an earlier induction date and risk complications because I'm rushing my body?  Or do I wait and have a very emotionally difficult first week because I'm dealing with my mom's crap?

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Re: stressed about this dilemma--WWYD?

  • awe this totally sucks. Sorry you're going through this. All I can say is what I would do... and what I would do is schedule the induction near my due date... that way you have around a week before your mom comes to visit. Who knows, maybe LO will decide to come before that :)
  • 2-Step2-Step
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    If it looks like you are going to have to be induced anyway, then I would do the earlier date. It sounds like it will be a lot less stressful for you and you can focus on caring for LO. I know a lot of people are against induction unless it is a last resort, but I think if you are past your due date and it's going to help you deal with this chaotic time, it is worth it. I hope it all works out for you!
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  • As tricky and difficult as the situation is, I would NOT schedule an induction to fit in with the moms' travel logistics.
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  • This is a tough one, though I think I would probably go with scheduling the induction earlier. I would've thought that since you'll already be past your due date, complications would be minimal - talk to your doc about the whole situation though and see what s/he says. IMO, the less stress, the better - that in itself could cause health issues for you. But then, if you're going to worry more about rushing your body, maybe the latter is better. Good luck!
  • In my opinion, I think it is best to avoid induction, if at all possible.
  • Once your baby is passed 37 weeks there shouldn't be any complications.  My Dr. won't let me go passed my due date - I'd induce.

     From your previous posts it's obvious that your mom isn't the mom you'd hoped for, but at least you have a great step-mom. Your being a much bigger person by trying to make your biological mom part of this special event.  Don't let her ruin it for you.

  • blf722blf722 member

    I feel for you having to deal with the stress of this already.  However, my vote is not to schedule an induction to fit with your mom and step-mom's schedule.  There's a good chance that you could go into labor within a week and that being said you would still get a week or around that much time with your step-mom around before you mother arrived.

    It's a tough situation, but my thought is this....induction could be much more stressful on your body and stressful to your baby as opposed to going into labor naturally......as crazy as it might be with your mom around, I personally don't think it's worth the risks to your baby and you.  I wish you the best of luck though.  Just have faith that you baby knows when to come out and as hard as it may be, I hope you get to relax a little soon and that may help your body prepared instead of having to be tense because of your tough decision.   (p.s. i'm wishing for us both to just go into labor tonight, how's that sound!!!????)

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  • So if they induce at 41 weeks, that would work out right? ?I hope my doctor doesn't let me go longer than that! ?I don't think induction at 41 weeks is too early, and who knows, you may luck out and go before that on your own! ?It can happen really fast even if you don't feel like you are making much progress.
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  • If your doctor believes you will probably need an induction regardless, I'd just go ahead and do it sooner rather than later. I'm not a fan of inductions, but it's not like you're pre-EDD, or showing signs of impending labor but don't want to wait it out.?

    Now, if you get checked tomorrow and find that you actually have progressed a decent amount, I might wait it out a little longer than if you're still at 1 cm and 50%. ?

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  • image NKufferman:

    Once your baby is passed 37 weeks there shouldn't be any complications.  My Dr. won't let me go passed my due date - I'd induce.

    Not to start a debate here, but I'm surprised your doctor - assuming your pregnancy has been healthy and uneventful - insists on inducing at 40w given that the average delivery date for such a pregnancy is around 41w1d. That would be a HUGE red flag to me. Just my .02!

    (Also, it's "past", not "passed". Sorry.)

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  • You're at 40 weeks already.  All that extra stress with a newborn wouldn't be much more healthy than inducing earlier.  Do what you need to and don't feel bad.
  • image kristeljade:
    You're at 40 weeks already.  All that extra stress with a newborn wouldn't be much more healthy than inducing earlier.  Do what you need to and don't feel bad.

    This

    image
  • image kristeljade:
    You're at 40 weeks already.  All that extra stress with a newborn wouldn't be much more healthy than inducing earlier.  Do what you need to and don't feel bad.

    I think this is the key - no matter what you decide to do, do NOT feel bad or let someone else make you feel bad about it. GL!

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  • Ha.  I meant later.  Well, at least I didn't spell anything incorrectly.
  • blf722blf722 member
    image NKufferman:

    Once your baby is passed 37 weeks there shouldn't be any complications.  My Dr. won't let me go passed my due date - I'd induce.

    I'd be kinda freaked out by this also?  What if you aren't dilated or having any other progress at 40 weeks.....PAIN at induction - yikes!

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  • You look great in your pic BTW....and I love the name Eleanor Grace! Very classy.Wink
  • I agree with some of the PP's.  No way I would induce without a medical reason making it absolutely necessary.  The change in birth plan and risk surrounding induction does not make it worthwhile enough for something like family drama or travel plans, sorry.
  • image goesbatty:
    You look great in your pic BTW....and I love the name Eleanor Grace! Very classy.Wink

    Thank you!

    It's interesting to me that the opinions are so split.  Thank you for the feedback.

    I think I'm going to try not to stress too much about it until tomorrow, when I see what dates are open.  I'll probably try and do a middle of the road approach--perhaps scheduling it for next Monday.  And I'll keep my fingers crossed that it happens on its own anyway, because that's what I really want! 

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  • Well, I'm probably going to have to have an induction or c-section prior to 40 weeks, so you already made it a lot further than some people!

    I get that inducing labor at 38 weeks because the mom is uncomfortable is not the best idea, but honestly I know people who have had major complications from going too long as well... so I think it can go either way.

    Good luck, I hope it works out for you! 

  • i'd schedule an earlier induction in this case - i'm all for waiting as long as possible but if your mother is going to do nothing but stress you out and make you miserable, i'd much rather not have to go through that.  it sounds like your step mom would be a major help and support so i'd induce earlier since you'll already be over 40 weeks.  good luck with whatever you choose!
  • It sounds like you would really prefer to have your baby and body to go into labor naturally and that the 'scheduling' is making you doubt your instincts.

    I would go with your instincts- the last thing that you want is family drama and to have to deviate from your initial plans when there is not a medical necessity to do so.  I would try some natural labor inducing techniques and really try to relax (which I know is easier said than done!).

    Maybe have DH run some interference with your mom and stepmom so that you don't have to deal with it, no matter when your LO decides to arrive.  GL!

  • afgafg member

    Personally I would schedule the induction earlier so you can have the time with your step mom that you seem to really want.

    It's not like you're asking to be induced at 35wks for no reason, you will be past your due date and the baby will be more then fine.  The last thing you will need when you bring the baby home is extra stress caused by tension between your mom and step mom.

  • I am the kind of person that would lie awake at night and stress over it.  I need to find a solution to everything in order to be happy and relaxed.  So, if I was in your situation I would schedule an induction at the last possible date that would still give you time with your stepmom and then hope that I went into labor sooner rather than later.

  • I personally would not induce labor unless it medically necessary.  Do you feel like you really need someone to stay with you the first week?  I guess I'm really insensitive about crappy parents (because mine are pretty crappy) but I wouldn't feel bad about hurting my moms feelings if you want your step mom to stay with you.  Maybe you can just tell your mom that your step mom offered to stay with you first and you thought it would be nice to have the extra help.
  • image blf722:

    I feel for you having to deal with the stress of this already.  However, my vote is not to schedule an induction to fit with your mom and step-mom's schedule.  There's a good chance that you could go into labor within a week and that being said you would still get a week or around that much time with your step-mom around before you mother arrived.

    It's a tough situation, but my thought is this....induction could be much more stressful on your body and stressful to your baby as opposed to going into labor naturally......as crazy as it might be with your mom around, I personally don't think it's worth the risks to your baby and you.  I wish you the best of luck though.  Just have faith that you baby knows when to come out and as hard as it may be, I hope you get to relax a little soon and that may help your body prepared instead of having to be tense because of your tough decision.   (p.s. i'm wishing for us both to just go into labor tonight, how's that sound!!!????)

     

    This.  It's a crappy situation but your and your LO's health are more important.  Try some natural induction methods.

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  • I would schedule the date for 42 weeks (for you and your babies health) and pray that the baby comes on it's own before then. Do your best to walk and induce naturally.

    Is it possible to not tell your mom that step mom is staying there and tell her that you need your privacy at the house and do your best to go by the hotel or a mutual family members house for visits or maybe call your mom over when step mom is out running errands if it is to much for you to leave the house?

    It can be less stress if you are organized ahead of time. A lot of us have the same issue with mom & crazy mother-in-law...

    Good Luck

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