1st Trimester

Family Heirloom Crib - WTF?!

My mother in law, in her well meaning excitement, has mentioned to me in an email that she has the crib that her kids used stored in her attic and that its in "great condition". She wants to use it at her house and feels that all she needs to do is "buy a new mattress". HER KIDS ARE 32, 30, AND 24!!!!!!!! I've had a hunch that she was planning on this just from her dropping hints in the past on how she has been saving the crib all these years. But now that she has actually come out and directly suggested, I want to flip out! C'mon, I mean really she is smarter than that ... she's a teacher!.... why put me in the awkward position to address this problem?!

 My hubbo is very loving and supportive of everything I do and he agrees with my reasoning (HELLO! SAFETY STANDARDS) .... but when it comes to his mother he'd rather avoid anything that may displease or offend her.

I just read the portion in Baby Bargains that addresses this exact problem and it confirms all of my fears. I'm not being a b*tch, but she is crazy if she thinks I'm going to let her put my baby in that thing. My question to the board is .... how in the world do I address this with her? I have to admit I'm intimidated by the situation and don't want to offend her....

 of do you agree with my husband and think I'm overreacting and should just "let it go"? Confused TIA!

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Re: Family Heirloom Crib - WTF?!

  • Have you seen it, maybe it does meet standards?  Just let her know the slat safety requirements and say if it meets them, you'll be happy to use it- otherwise you'll buy a pack and play for grandma's house.
  • Just let her know that safety standards have changed a lot in the last 30 years, and that you would rather get a new crib. ?But be sure to thank her for such a sweet and generous offer. ?Maybe ask if there's something else from the heirloom nursery that you could still use (a dresser, bookshelf, or rocker?).
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  • i'd buy a pnp to keep at her house and tell her your baby doesn't like cribs.  lol.  mil's can be very well meaning, but very misguided about raising a baby in 2009.
  • My MIL did that to us-she has the crib from DH (he's 30) that he used, as well as his 27 year old sister, 25 year old cousin, and 11 year old godson.  I told DH that there was NO WAY we were going to let her use it.  We registered for an extra Pack N Play to keep at her house and so far so good.
  • DH's mom made a harmelss comment lastnight saying she wished she would have kept DH's crib for us.  I just flat out at that moment said it would have been nice and special but safety standards suggest you do not use old cribs because they can be dangerous.  She and DH's dad just said something along the lines of "that makes sense"... They didn't seem offended at all (even though they don't even have a crib to offer!)

    So maybe if you tell her what you read about safety standards she will just realize the fact of the matter.

    I'd feel uncomfortable too but I'd make DH address it since it's his mom.  I know that their kids slept in that crib long ago and were fine but I am all about keeping up with the times!  Also at that time car seats were not mandatory!

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  • If you just "let it go" and something bad happens, you are going to feel guilty for not saying anything. ?Have a conversation with her without getting upset. ?I mean really, it's just a crib. ?Explain your concerns. ?She'll get over it. ?If she has a problem, show her the article that you found. ?You have a right to protect your child.
  • I would just be really nice and say "Oh, my gosh, I bet it's beautiful, I really wish we could!  Unfortunately the safety standards have changed so much that we just won't be able to."
  • My MIL uses a crib for DS and my niece that used to be DH's cousins' crib.  They are 27 and 25.  It meets all the current safety standards so I don't see what the big deal is about using it.

    If it bothers you that much, just go by an inexpensive pnp at Target or something and keep that at her house.  That's what we did for my mom's house for when she keeps DS overnight.

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  • image ablou:
    Just let her know that safety standards have changed a lot in the last 30 years, and that you would rather get a new crib.  But be sure to thank her for such a sweet and generous offer.  Maybe ask if there's something else from the heirloom nursery that you could still use (a dresser, bookshelf, or rocker?).

    But, .... would be the proper use of a conjunction at the beginning of a sentance

  • I would most certainly bring up safety issues.  You could also suggest that a Pack n Play could be easily stored when not in use.

  • image madeleines_mommy:

    image ablou:
    Just let her know that safety standards have changed a lot in the last 30 years, and that you would rather get a new crib.  But be sure to thank her for such a sweet and generous offer.  Maybe ask if there's something else from the heirloom nursery that you could still use (a dresser, bookshelf, or rocker?).

    But, .... would be the proper use of a conjunction at the beginning of a sentance

    Seriously?  You're picking on grammar?  Do you have something against ablou?

    S-E-N-T-E-N-C-E would be the proper spelling of sentence, btw. 

  • image Mrs.tlcS:
    image madeleines_mommy:

    image ablou:
    Just let her know that safety standards have changed a lot in the last 30 years, and that you would rather get a new crib.  But be sure to thank her for such a sweet and generous offer.  Maybe ask if there's something else from the heirloom nursery that you could still use (a dresser, bookshelf, or rocker?).

    But, .... would be the proper use of a conjunction at the beginning of a sentance

    Seriously?  You're picking on grammar?  Do you have something against ablou?

    S-E-N-T-E-N-C-E would be the proper spelling of sentence, btw. 

    Yes

    How's that saying go about "those in glass houses...." ? Wink

  • image Hulahoop1234:
    I would just be really nice and say "Oh, my gosh, I bet it's beautiful, I really wish we could!  Unfortunately the safety standards have changed so much that we just won't be able to."

    This. I'd offer to buy a PNP to keep at their house as well.

  • image Mikes_Wife06:
    image Mrs.tlcS:
    image madeleines_mommy:

    image ablou:
    Just let her know that safety standards have changed a lot in the last 30 years, and that you would rather get a new crib.  But be sure to thank her for such a sweet and generous offer.  Maybe ask if there's something else from the heirloom nursery that you could still use (a dresser, bookshelf, or rocker?).

    But, .... would be the proper use of a conjunction at the beginning of a sentance

    Seriously?  You're picking on grammar?  Do you have something against ablou?

    S-E-N-T-E-N-C-E would be the proper spelling of sentence, btw. 

    Yes

    How's that saying go about "those in glass houses...." ? Wink

    ::giggles:: Fun times...

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  • My MIL does a simular thing. They all grew up extremely poor and thinks that second hand clothes, cribs, etc., are perfectly acceptable since that is all her three sons had.

     My DH and I are NOT poor and can afford new items (or we wouldn't have gotten PG). She has already started to bring over used clothes, etc. About 2-3 years ago- she brought over the crib her three son's used as a means to store it. Now she mentioned that we can use it. I told her that safety standards have change with all the recalls in the past 10 years alone- I want to get a new crib. Re: the used clothes- I told her mentally- I just can't get over it for our child.

    I am putting my foot down on this. The fact of the matter is that this is our (DH and I) child- not her's. And although we would never take her grandchild away- it is a luxury to be involved- not a given...

    Stand up for yourself! If you don't know- she might think she can run the roast for years to come...

  • image Asquared:
    Have you seen it, maybe it does meet standards?  Just let her know the slat safety requirements and say if it meets them, you'll be happy to use it- otherwise you'll buy a pack and play for grandma's house.

    Yes

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  • image madeleines_mommy:

    image ablou:
    Just let her know that safety standards have changed a lot in the last 30 years, and that you would rather get a new crib. ?But be sure to thank her for such a sweet and generous offer. ?Maybe ask if there's something else from the heirloom nursery that you could still use (a dresser, bookshelf, or rocker?).

    But, .... would be the proper use of a conjunction at the beginning of a sentance

    ... and sentEnce would be the correct spelling... if you're gonna be the grammar police, maybe you should use spellcheck.

    ?

    ed: fired this off when I read the pp, and then read subsequent... thanks, ladies!?

    ?

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