3rd Trimester

Shower/MIL issue (again) WWYD?

I will make this as short as possible. After much drama I insisted we have 2 seperate showers because MIL was bring ridiculous. My mom's shower is doen & went great. MIL's is next month, I am making the invites, which she wants out now, whatever. She just called that she wants me close family friends (who I call Aunt & Grandma`they took my mom in when she was a single mom) to attend her shower as well. She loves these people, everyone does.

The thing is they not only came to my other shower but helped A LOT, they made food, bought flowers, & got us very generous gifts. They also own a photography studio & took beautiful photos for me (at no charge). I told MIL they may be busy, with it being weddign season & she had a little fit saying it wasn't fair that I had photos from the other shower & not hers.

I talked to DH he agrees it would be rude to ask them to come to another shower. My mom (who is the ever peace keeper) said we could invite them & insist we want them to enjoy the day with us, no gifts, no help (its catered & friends are decorating) knowing they would take photos, they always do. WWYD? Other then hire a hit man for MIL?

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My babies were BOTH in a rush to meet mama, Logan born July 24, 2009 at 35.2 weeks, 5lbs 10oz, 1 week in the NICU. Eliya born March 22, 2012 at 35.6 weeks, 5lbs 12oz, 5 days in the NICU

Re: Shower/MIL issue (again) WWYD?

  • If your MIL is insisting, then I would tell your MIL that you would gladly invite them so that they can take photos and then provide her with a copy of their fee schedule and let her know they prefer checks.

  • While I don't have the issues along with the duplicate showers, my MIL was invited to the one my mom hosted and my mom is invited to the one MIL is hosting.  MIL and my mom both conversed with the other just asking for their presence to support DH and I.  I'm sure your friends will understand.  Good luck!
  • image Mrs.Teddy:

    My mom (who is the ever peace keeper) said we could invite them & insist we want them to enjoy the day with us, no gifts, no help (its catered & friends are decorating) knowing they would take photos, they always do.

    I would do this and let them know that they don't need to feel obligated to come but that your MIL wanted to make sure that they were invited. Your MIL shouldn't expect them to come to her shower just to take photos, though - that's just rude of her.

  • Your MIL only wants to invite them so that she has nice pictures?  I wish her foot-stomping had been more along the lines of "but they're so close to you, they HAVE to be there too!!"  ::sigh::

    I think your mom has come up with a good solution. Go ahead and invite them.        

  • I agree with your mom.  Invite them, but make sure that they are aware that it is ONLY for their company. (I might even go as far as make MIL hire a photographer just to ensure that they didn't feel the need to take pictures.)
  • I agree with PP, do what your Mom suggested - it'll keep the peace! (Although I like the idea of providing her a list of their fees, but it might just cause drama where drama isn't needed!)
  • I would take your mom's suggestion for sure, it sounds reasonable and drama-free to me.?
  • I really don't understand why these women are the only ones who can take pictures??

    Just have a friend take pictures at MIL's shower.

    If these women are professional photographers or something, then do what your mom suggested, but i would personally talk to them, tell them that your MIL is unreasonable and insisting that they be invited, that you are SO excited to see them, but you really feel bad inviting them to two showers, and under no circumstances are they to buy you another present.

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  • image mavilabride:

    If your MIL is insisting, then I would tell your MIL that you would gladly invite them so that they can take photos and then provide her with a copy of their fee schedule and let her know they prefer checks.

    Yes LOL.. this.

  • image gris~gris:
    Do what your mom suggested.

    This.  I'm sure if they don't have other plans they would enjoy attending. 

  • image Mrs.Teddy:

    Other then hire a hit man for MIL?

    I vote for this option.  Can we get a two for one deal?

  • image mavilabride:

    If your MIL is insisting, then I would tell your MIL that you would gladly invite them so that they can take photos and then provide her with a copy of their fee schedule and let her know they prefer checks.

    I agree - it sounds like she only wants them there because she wants nice pics - well then she can pay them.  They already gave you that gift for your other shower and she shouldn't assume they can do it again.

  • Thanks ladies. I will call them up & talk to them & send the invites. We are very close so its not awkward to talk to them, I just don't want them to feel obligated or that they have to do more. They are always over generous as it is.

    They are photographers, very prestigious ones in our city. They have been taking my photos for every event/occasion for my whole life. I just feel like thats is the only reason MIL wants them there. She does like them as well & gets along with them etc but I know the photos are the big thing. They would never let us pay them either.

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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



    My babies were BOTH in a rush to meet mama, Logan born July 24, 2009 at 35.2 weeks, 5lbs 10oz, 1 week in the NICU. Eliya born March 22, 2012 at 35.6 weeks, 5lbs 12oz, 5 days in the NICU
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