1st Trimester

Have to vent

So...does it bother anyone else when your friends and husband drink around you? Our friends come by, bring beer or wine or whatever and hang out and drink and it REALLY aggravates me! I feel sooo left out. I've tried to explain it to my husband but he doesn't get it! I know I'm being really selfish if I cant drink I don't want him to either! I know thats not fair to him...but geez its no fun to be the only sober one!

 

Quick addition...I think I'd probably feel differently if we'd planned it then I know what I was going to have to so. But it was an unexpected surprise! 

 

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. -FDR

Re: Have to vent

  • It doesn't bother me to not be able to drink--I barely drink as it is.  What bothers me is the smell of my husband's beer and the beer belches.  It is nauseating. 
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  • It doesn't bother me at all, I love the smell of beer!
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  • Ehh not really. I figure I am the one that is pregnant not him or my friends. And I knew going into this that I would not be drinking for a while so I am ok with it. Although I do agree that it is no fun being the sober one.
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  • It's not my favorite thing in the world but it doesn't really bother me. I mean I don't expect my friends/DH to change their lifestyles just because I'm KU so there's really no other option than getting used to it.?
  • ibisibis member
    No, I don't mind. I don't exactly enjoy going out to bars anymore, but if people are just sitting around talking & having a couple of drinks, I don't care.
  • I'm a bartender, people drink around me all the time and it doesn't bother me. You do not have to drink to enjoy yourself.
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  • No, this doesn't bother me. I chose to become pregnant knowing that giving up booze for 9 months was part of the deal. I would be horrified if people felt like they had to abstain around me.

     

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  • i doesn't bother me.  In fact we just when on a vacation where all drinks were included, DH drank all day (nothing crazy).  i just told him the only way it would bother me is if he got too drunk and then i would have to take  care of him (which he didn't). 
  • No, it doesn't bother me at all.  I have just as much fun, I think, and I don't have to worry about feeling bad in the morning (well, not any worse than I normally do!) 
  • It doesn't bother me.  That'd be like saying I didn't want DH to eat while I had m/s from 7w-19w4d.
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  • I thought it would bother me more than it has, seeing as how I was a 1-2 glass of wine most nights drinker... But so far so good. I think I've felt too thirsty/dehydrated to think of much else but water/juice anyway.
  • No... it doesn't bother me at all.  As a matter of fact, we had wine and champagne at my baby shower yesterday.  Just because I can't drink doesn't mean that my friends and family can't drink.

    Get used to your husband being able to do things you can't do.  Right now I am SOOOO jealous that my husband can sleep through the night.  I also get jealous that he can go for a run (I am on pelvic rest), wear a wide variety of clothing, and cold cut sandwiches and a dozen other prohibited foods.

    It is what it is.  If you start policing drinking around friends you will alienate them very quickly.  Chill out.

  • It kind of bothers me when dh gets tipsy at a wedding or something, I just get so annoyed at him.  But other than that it doesn't bother me...I kind of like being the sober one sometimes, it's pretty entertaining.  Also, I'm enjoying new-found virgin drinks....like cranberry and sparkling water with lime....or at brunch today I had a very spicy virgin bloody mary...it was awesome!
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  • Doesn't bother me at all.   Why should no one else be able to have a drink just because I can't?
  • I just scrolled through the responses and most people said "no".

    That's what bugs me lately (I'm a little irritable theses days) - I know everyone is entitled to their opinion but it's nice to vent and find that people understand.

    I know what you are saying because up until now my husband and I used to often have wine/beer and food with friends on the weekends and now we have had to adjust. ?It's not only the lifestyle change - it's the way my body is taking total control of my ability to have a social life - always tired/sometimes nauseous. ?It's a big change.

    The other day it was hot and my husband picked me up some non-alcoholic German beer. ?I had one nice cold one and haven't really thought about it since.?

    I'm sure you'll figure it out!?


  • If I was a drinker and my hubby drank around me, then, yes I'd totally be annoyed. ?

    That being said, my hubby doesn't drink at all, and I am a diabetic, so alcohol usually messes with my numbers, so I avoid it at all costs.

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  • Nah, unless he's getting drunk.  We were out with friends in the pool last night and two of the women were pregnant, so we didn't drink and the third wife joined us in not drinking, while the men downed a bottle of scotch. I was sad I couldn't sample it, as they all talked about what a great scotch it was, but that's life.

    We all get annoyed by random things, no biggie.


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  • image ibis:
    No, I don't mind. I don't exactly enjoy going out to bars anymore, but if people are just sitting around talking & having a couple of drinks, I don't care.

     

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  • Oh, I want to say that's there's a big difference between missing wine or whatever (and I **totally** do--I was a daily wine with dinner person) and being pissed off at other people for drinking (which is what the OP is talking about).

     

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  • No, I can't be mad at someone else for drinking around me, ?It's not their fault that I can't drink.
  • Ok, just to clarify I'm not mad at my friends for drinking around me...its just annoying. We always had people over, to BBQ, swim hang out. And it pretty much always involved alcohol. But now that I cant participate and people are coming over and most of em do get kinda drunk, it just bothers. Especially since no one gets that I super freaking tired ALL the time and nauseous.
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  • hocushocus
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    No I don't feel angry when people do things or eat things that I can't and I haven't asked DH to change his behaviors.

    I miss things like roller coasters, margaritas on a hot day, and Advil - which works better for me than Tylenol, but it isn't really rational to get upset that other people do or use these things.

     

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  • image Lindsey7521:
    Ok, just to clarify I'm not mad at my friends for drinking around me...its just annoying. We always had people over, to BBQ, swim hang out. And it pretty much always involved alcohol. But now that I cant participate and people are coming over and most of em do get kinda drunk, it just bothers. Especially since no one gets that I super freaking tired ALL the time and nauseous.

    Then stop having people over for a bit. You are allowed to take a break every now and again. 

    A lot of years and a million tears finally led me to you.
    After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
    My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
    <a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
  • the only thing i think is "funny" is when people who know that i'm pregnant choose my drinks of choice to drink in front of me instead of something that they'd normally drink. but then what i think is that one day when i have my baby/toddler and they're pregnant i'll be drinking plenty in front of them...and enjoying it throughly! :-)
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  • Scott and I like to drink, but mostly when we are alone together. I don't know, but that was just our thing. We would play cards, board games, watch movies, play caps, etc. etc. and we always had SO much fun! I am definitely going to miss it! :( He said he only wants to drink one more time, with his friend, so he is very, very understanding. Not that I would mind too much if he wanted to have a drink; it's just that drinking together was something special we did together.
  • image krissyh21:

    image Lindsey7521:
    Ok, just to clarify I'm not mad at my friends for drinking around me...its just annoying. We always had people over, to BBQ, swim hang out. And it pretty much always involved alcohol. But now that I cant participate and people are coming over and most of em do get kinda drunk, it just bothers. Especially since no one gets that I super freaking tired ALL the time and nauseous.

    Then stop having people over for a bit. You are allowed to take a break every now and again. 

    No kidding! If you're tired and feeling crummy, it's 100% okay to take a break from social activities (especially hosting). I have been a slug so far, and that's totally fine with me.
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  • It does not bother me one bit.  On Saturday hubby and I went to dinner with my cousin... she got a raspberry martini and he got a beer... just to make fun of me they offered me a sip of their drinks (as a joke)... it does not bother me that I will not be able to drink anything for the next 8 months.... but that is just me.
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