Toddlers: 24 Months+

Need help w/ 2 year old dd who thinks i am her security blanket. (long)

I know that this is my fault and should have put an end to it when it started before a year old, but it was how she put herself to sleep.  It worked and I need sleep also.

But now I am at my wits end.

My daughter likes to pinch me on my arm.  It is not hard nor does it hurt unless her nails aren't trimmed.  It is always in the same spot on either arm.

She does it in the bend - it has to be the bend.  Among this issue she also never learned to put herself to sleep and she uses the arm pinch thing to comfort herself and help put herself to sleep.  Both for her naps & bedtime. 

She will also do it if she gets stressed out, tired etc...

I could deal with it before my twins came, but now I can't.  If I am nursing the boys (who i do at the same time) she is on me pinching my arm until I am done.  It is hard enough to have 2 babies on you at the same time - now I have 3.  With summer on us it just makes me all hot and cranky.

If I am on the floor, playing, feeding or changing the boys she is next to me trying to pinch my arm.

I try to be patient because I know she is going through a big adjustment to.  But the boys are almost 6 months old now.  It was never this bad before the boys came.

I tell her no - and she just moves over to the other arm.  I tell her no again she moves again to the other arm.  I try to be calm and quiet when I feed the boys so they get a good feeding.

I just can't take it anymore, when I complain to my husband he is like no big deal, she will grow out of it.  I think that is easy for him to say because she only does it to ME.

Any suggestions, because it is really driving me nuts.

Re: Need help w/ 2 year old dd who thinks i am her security blanket. (long)

  • i understand about the hot and sticky and cranky part. my ds sleeps with me, and he has to be like right on top of me. it drives me crazy and i really dont sleep good at night anymore because of it. now that we want number 2, this weekend is the weekend he learns to sleep in his bed. i know its going to be ruff, but like you i dont want THREE kids on me all the time. im sorry that i dont have a real suggestion, but just know there are people who are going through the same thing or similar situation and we are always here for support. :)
  • Oh my goodness.  I would be hot and cranky too.  My hair is DD's "thing" and I understand how tough it can be but I HAVE NO IDEA how hard that would be nursing twins on top of it. 

    Sorry I can't be any help...but I do have sympathy for you.  :)

  • I guess is an age thing... DD follows me around the house and wants my undivided attention at all times. Ofcourse, the busier I am with cooking or laundry the more I notice... I send her off to her dad but in a matter of minutes she is back at my side wanting me to play or asking me to get her something... it gets really frustrating but I try to remember that she is only 2 and is only doing this because she loves me and needs me... right?  If she was here now, it would've taken me 30 mins instead of the minute and a half it took me to write this reply.

    Sorry for venting about my own issue when I should giving you advise... but I really don't have any to give... I sympathize with you though :) 

  • My dd did the same thing, except it was twirling my hair. I put a stop to it as soon as I got pregnant with DS because I knew that I would have to stop co-sleeping and she'd have to go into her own bed.  So I gave her a lovey. At first I would just put the lovey in between her and I and still let her twirl my hair until she fell asleep.  I did this every night until she was used to the lovey. Eventually she would hold the lovey and twirl her own hair.  That was the turning point that helped me to eventually transition her into her own bed. I feel kind of bad for your dd because she has this ingrained in her now, and it's how she knows to comfort herself. She is probably having a rough time as it is adjusting to sharing the attention she used to have from you to two new babies. I know my dd is having a hard enough time with the one sibling.  Just be patient with her. It is going to take some time regardless, to wean her from this habit. Anyway, my suggestion is to get her some kind of lovey, and make it special. You two could go to the store and pick it out together---like a teddy bear or other stuffed animal. Actually, a baby might be really good to get her. I got my dd a baby doll when ds was born. It's made by Berenger and it's the kind that looks like a real newborn. She basically immitates every thing I do with ds on her doll, and it's her very own baby. She sleeps with it, eats with it, etc. That way she can be like mommy and have her own baby, too.
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