Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Changes after baby

Hey,

I just have a question for all you new moms. I know having a baby changes your life. I'm so scared about everything. So many people say I will hate my husband after the baby is born. I don't want to hate me husband. I love him so much. Is it a wonderful great change?? I'm sooo looking forward to this I was just curious. 

Re: Changes after baby

  • If I had a husband that didn't want to be involved then yes I would hate him out of pure exhaustion, but I don't. He has helped out so much and I still love him.
  • I love my husband more than I did before the baby. He's a great dad and husband, and I'm so thankful for him!
  • Its not that you will hate your husband.  Those first few weeks you both will be really tired so you will be cranky and get on each others nerves.  After you both get into the swing of things you will be fine.  But you will realized no love on the earth can compare to the love you will have for your child.  Good luck!  Enjoy your pregnancy! 
  • Things didn't change too much for me, it has mostly been good. The only thing that stinks is the in-laws. I have major issues with them (because of having a baby) and well I kind of don't like them much anymore.
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  • For me having a baby has been a great change.  DH and I still love each other.  At times it is stressful but we work together to get through it.  Don't worry about these what ifs or you will drive yourself crazy. 
  • truth be told, both of you are going to change!!! may be for the best, may be for the wors. i recomond talking about the changes that you expect "may" happen before baby is born. i wish i would have done it!
  • CA2006CA2006
    Tenth Anniversary
    member
    There are no words that can describe it...you have to experience it.  Some changes are good, some aren't so good.  But in the end, it will be your new life and you have no choice but to adjust your thinking.  I have never loved anyone or anything like I love DS.  It took a while for me to feel that way, so don't feel bad if it doesn't happen right away for you.  There are so many hormones racing through you that you have no control over.  You will be more sleep deprived and emotional than ever before, but you will find a way to get through every day, I promise.  Some people argue with their DH when baby is born...I have found that I love my DH in a whole new way.  He is the father of my baby and a damn good father.  Not just my husband anymore. :)
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  • I wouldn't say I hate my husband, but when we first came home from the hospital we were both sleep deprived and majorly stressed and we argued constantly.  Things are much better now, but there's less time for "us" now that the baby is here, and we do still have our days!.  Things are more complicated, but defintely in a good way. I love watching DH with DD, makes me love him so much more!
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  • It is an adjustment. I never hated my DH we have had some moments of frustration since my DH has a hard time at times with DS. We are lucky though DS is a great sleeper and easily consoled. So we were never really sleep deprived or overly stressed.
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  • I would hate it if I hated my husband!  If nothing else, I think we have become closer.  Do I want to strangle him some days or smother him in his sleep?  Yes...but I wanted to do that before!  (I kid.)
  • image Mrs.RockyM:
    I wouldn't say I hate my husband, but when we first came home from the hospital we were both sleep deprived and majorly stressed and we argued constantly.  Things are much better now, but there's less time for "us" now that the baby is here, and we do still have our days!.  Things are more complicated, but defintely in a good way. I love watching DH with DD, makes me love him so much more!

    This exactly. You will have days you will 'hate' your DH, but you won't HATE him if you know what I mean. The stress, hormones, and sleep deprivation are HARD but you'll get through it. And it'll just make you a stronger couple.

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  • Commit to be a team through the sleepless nights, cranky times, etc. Help each other out. If you work together, your relationship will flourish. Nothing is more attractive than seeing your DH taking care and loving your baby :)
  • It's a wonderful great change as you said. I wouldn't take back my old life for anything in the world. Turn off your ears to those telling you that you'll hate your husband, that's ridiculous.
  • kellmokellmo
    Sixth Anniversary 250 Answers 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    member
    Thanks for all the great advice!! Congrats on your new babies!!!
  • I agree with PP to decide that you will work together as a team. ?Help each other out...if you go the extra mile to do something to help each other out with baby and otherwise. ?DH and I have not argued once since baby was born almost three weeks ago. ?Since I BF it is mostly me getting up at night to feed/change him and DH works and I have off for about 8 months but I am okay with this. ?DH gets up if DS is crying for any reason other than being hungry... DH and I had a very strong relationship before baby and I had the same exact concerns you did. ?It is a scary thing...especially when things are going very well and you are afraid they will change. ?Things will definetely change...but change like this is a good thing and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Stay positive and be prepared to work together to make things work.?
  • It brought DH and I closer together, especially in the first few weeks - we found taking care of a newborn was a "team sport." But if DH wasn't helpful, it could have been rough.
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