3rd Trimester

DH is stressing me out with his stupid comments.

So I find out last night that my hubby's co-workers have been telling him that once the baby is born he might as well forget how good our relationship is. (These comments are even coming from his boss!) Apparantly I'm gonna fall so in love with the baby, I'll have to more time or use for my husband. The worst part is, I think DH believes them. Granted, if it comes down to nursing our hungry baby or rubbing his feet when he's tired, he's gonna have to take the back seat.

DH has been making jokes about how he thinks things are going to change for a few weeks now, but I'm pretty sure we're to a point where it's not really joking anymore. I really think he's convinced I'm just gonna forget he exists once we have a baby.

I know a lot of guys freak out a little bit, but good greif!

Re: DH is stressing me out with his stupid comments.

  • *rolls eyes*  Boys...geez.  Stroke his ego a bit Babe...he'll be fine. *wink*  I tell my sweet Sparky he's a Bad A$$ everytime I get a chance.  In fact I told him last night as he was carrying in the groceries...he's loves it.
  • Have you tried talking to him about it?  I know that I have brought up in casual conversation with DH about things that will change, how we'll address it, and how to make our relationship continue to work as well as it does now.  Remind him that things will change, but it's a good change. 
  • Well on top of everything he is freaking you out and he needs to know thats not good for anybody! You will actually have a stronger relationship afterwards. Its gonna be stressfull , sure, but life will take this new shape that you never expected and you will love each other because you both made this beautiful baby. Tell his boss to shove it. Everyone is different. If you have a good relationship now, you will have one after the baby as well.
  • Well that's annoying of his boss to say. Not everyone does that. Have you thought about talking to him about it a bit? I had a talk with my fiance about this last weekend and asked him his fears and hopes. I found out the same thing your boss said. We decided that once a week we would have a date night like we do now just the two of us. Sometimes guys just need reassurance and need to get things off their chest.

  • Stroke his ego a bit.  That will make him feel loved and maybe he will cut out the comments.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
  • As crazy as this sounds, I have thought about this!! haha! I've worried that I won't have time for my BF because I will be so caught up in my little girl that i'm going to be like "Boo you william" haha! What I plan on doing is just keeping him invovled, like include him with bath time and all the stuff I do with the baby. That way I won't feel like i'm forgetting him. haha! He works 3 jobs, 1 at home and 2 out of the home so he's not around much. I can see myself forgetting about him. I'm a horrible person.
  • We talked for a long time last night, because I really wanted him to know that he's not the only one who has concerns. I think I'm more worried than he is! I'm just not sure if he's convinced of anything though. He admitted to me that he's talked to his best friend (who just had his second baby last week) about how he feels, and he told him that it's made his and his wife's marriage better.

    I know he's just stressed about the unknown, but his jokes about how bad our marriage might become aren't helping either of us feel more prepared for a baby!

  • Sure, it might change the dymanic of your relationship, but I seriously doubt you'll have no need for him anymore.  I am 1000 times closer to my husband after DS#1 and if anything, I am MORE dependent and needy of him.  I agree with stroking his ego - he's just male and afriad of the unknown.  Shame on his boss for pushing is own issues on your DH!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I have always told DH before going to sleep that he is "my favorite".  He said a few weeks ago that after the baby is born he won't be my favorite anymore.  It was so sad and sweet at the same time.

    I just told him that after the baby comes he will still be my favorite, only he'll be my favorite husband and friend.  Kingston will be my favorite baby.

    That seemed to do the trick.

  • image Squishycheeks:

    So I find out last night that my hubby's co-workers have been telling him that once the baby is born he might as well forget how good our relationship is. (These comments are even coming from his boss!) Apparantly I'm gonna fall so in love with the baby, I'll have to more time or use for my husband. The worst part is, I think DH believes them. Granted, if it comes down to nursing our hungry baby or rubbing his feet when he's tired, he's gonna have to take the back seat.

    DH has been making jokes about how he thinks things are going to change for a few weeks now, but I'm pretty sure we're to a point where it's not really joking anymore. I really think he's convinced I'm just gonna forget he exists once we have a baby.

    I know a lot of guys freak out a little bit, but good greif!

     Not related to your post--but I just realized not only does your LO have the same name as me (Audra) but she's due right around my birthday! Too funny!

  • I'd turn it around on him... he, too, will be enamored with the new baby, gosh, he's going to be so tired he won't want to rub YOUR back or feet, or do things for YOU. I'd throw a crying fit just to make him see how hard it'll be on you, and hopefully that will smarten him up.  My crying fits (although 98% not contrived) do tend to get the point across to my hubs.
    imageimage
    image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • please dont take this the wrong way, but havent you ever heard of " a baby changes you?" it honnestly does change things between you and your SO. sometimes not much, other times, horribly. my grandmother once said " if you want to keep your man happy, dont have kids" i didnt know what it really meant until after my DS was born, now i completely understand. maybe i just caught a bad fish, when it comes down to my SO, i know not all men are like him, but they do change after baby, sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad Big Smile
  • I'm sure things will change a little bit and your priorities will definetely shift, but try and make time for each other, even if it's just for a few hours a week. It's important to try and maintain a bound between you and your DH, so that when the kids grow up and move away, you aren't sitting there staring at your DH realizing he's a stranger to you.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards