Babies: 0 - 3 Months

I am almost a whole day late on the drama...

But wanted to add my 2 cents.

If I made the "choice" to stay at home...... My four kids would all have to share a room, pick which one sibiling's turn it is to eat the hearty meal of top ramen that night, and switch one set of clothes each among each other everyday. 

Does AW and PC think my kids would make that sacrifice for me to make that "choice"?

I am proud to be able to provide for my children, and give them what they need plus some. I give them more than enough love, and am capable of carrying on a healthy family life with them. I GET to work, though I would much rather prefer to stay home. With the economy today, I count myself lucky that I can provide for my family. Not so many people get the opportunity.

And that is my 2 cents.

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Re: I am almost a whole day late on the drama...

  • There is no way we could afford me to SAHM and not make any money.  So I totally agree with you.
  • I missed it. I need a link to this mornings post. Anybody? Anybody? ;)
  • well said. 
    living it up in Disney for my 2nd birthday!
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  • htomeohtomeo member

    image klmbride05:
    I missed it. I need a link to this mornings post. Anybody? Anybody? ;)

    THIS is just one of the many. First thing this morning.

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  • listen, it's your choice. so if that's the lifestyle you want to lead, your children should willingly oblige. ?duh.
  • htomeohtomeo member

    image megs042107:
    listen, it's your choice. so if that's the lifestyle you want to lead, your children should willingly oblige.  duh.

    True that! LOL

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  • trying so hard to stay out of this....eh, wth

    i could have chosen to wait to have a baby until we could afford for me to stay home, but dh is ten years older than me and we didn't want to wait forever.  i chose to have a baby now because that is what i/we wanted, and yes that might make me selfish, but i would rather have this cute little guy in my life and have to work to support our family.  i can't imagine my life without him, so that is the price i have to pay.

    and at the end of the day, while i sometimes hate that he is with those other ladies all day long, i know i'm making the right decisions.

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  • I'm really late on this one too; but, here are my thoughts FWIW. It is a choice. Parenthood is a whole slew of choices and the only thing that most of us probably do the same is make the best choice for our LO and family. To some, it's being able to stay at home and for others it's living close to family/friends, living in a house and not a cardboard box. I don't really get the debate...I could move to the middle of nowhere and live in a hut made of grass and floss and stay at home with my baby all the time; but, I choose not to because I think the life I'm providing is the better option for our family. The way the whole thing got started was rediculous and AW is truly and AW. AW is clearly in her own little world and no one should feel they have to defend themselves or their decisions to her. (or PC)
  • In the end it all is a choice, you have to make a choice about everything BUT some things just aren't realistic so even if the choice you would LIKE to make it's not always what is best. There is much more to it than just wanting to do something and then doing it. You have to weigh out everything. I would not be SAH if we had to change our lifestyle, granted I will still work from home bringing in about 3/4 of the income I was.

    I'm not willing to give up good school districts, neighborhoods, etc for me to completely quit my job. My children will better by going to a good school versus me staying at home. Even though I chose to work from home I still send my daughter to daycare 3 days a week so she is able to interact with other children.

  • image Mando91:
    a hut made of grass and floss and stay at home with my baby

    lmao!  grass and floss.  bwahahahaha

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  • image klmbride05:
    I missed it. I need a link to this mornings post. Anybody? Anybody? ;)

    Thanks for the link. Her mentality is what is wrong with our country. The fact that she thinks it is a choice to not work and live off of tax payers money is just wrong. If you have the ability to work, you need to. That really pissed me off.

  • image TheFannins729:

    image Mando91:
    a hut made of grass and floss and stay at home with my baby

    lmao!  grass and floss.  bwahahahaha

    Stick out tongue I was channeling McGuiver!

  • image klmbride05:

    image klmbride05:
    I missed it. I need a link to this mornings post. Anybody? Anybody? ;)

    Thanks for the link. Her mentality is what is wrong with our country. The fact that she thinks it is a choice to not work and live off of tax payers money is just wrong. If you have the ability to work, you need to. That really pissed me off.

    Wow Wow Wow......where did I say that?

    If you know me at all on these boards you know I am a very conservative Republican - I don't want ANYONE living off taxpayer money.  lol

    You guys are awesome at twisting words and jumping to conclusions. 

    Carry on!

  • image britti<3:

    I'm not willing to give up good school districts, neighborhoods, etc for me to completely quit my job. My children will better by going to a good school versus me staying at home. Even though I chose to work from home I still send my daughter to daycare 3 days a week so she is able to interact with other children.

    This.  I mentioned schools in a pp.  It is much more important to me that my kids have an excellent education than my staying at home with them.  If you live in a shiitty neighborhood, you can pretty much guarantee the schools will suck.  I guess at this point "some" posters will say it's our choice to home school as well.

  • image adamwife:
    image klmbride05:

    image klmbride05:
    I missed it. I need a link to this mornings post. Anybody? Anybody? ;)

    Thanks for the link. Her mentality is what is wrong with our country. The fact that she thinks it is a choice to not work and live off of tax payers money is just wrong. If you have the ability to work, you need to. That really pissed me off.

    Wow Wow Wow......where did I say that?

    If you know me at all on these boards you know I am a very conservative Republican - I don't want ANYONE living off taxpayer money.  lol

    You guys are awesome at twisting words and jumping to conclusions. 

    Carry on!

    Not you. The other chick. I will go get the quote.

  • image mrskadams:
    image britti<3:

    I'm not willing to give up good school districts, neighborhoods, etc for me to completely quit my job. My children will better by going to a good school versus me staying at home. Even though I chose to work from home I still send my daughter to daycare 3 days a week so she is able to interact with other children.

    This.  I mentioned schools in a pp.  It is much more important to me that my kids have an excellent education than my staying at home with them.  If you live in a shiitty neighborhood, you can pretty much guarantee the schools will suck.  I guess at this point "some" posters will say it's our choice to home school as well.

     

    Yeah, I'm not a fan of homeschooling. I want my child to know how to interact with people her own age and realize that more than just her parents are an authority figure. I also want my child to have the opportunity to play sports, join clubs, go to school events if she chooses to do so.

  • image PlannedChaos:
     

    Could I have gone on welfare and stayed home?  Yep.  Instead I busted my asz to get my education and get a high paying job.  Let me guess, financial aid? Goverment funding??? What a waste of money.  Now - I gave that up to stay home in a dinky house with too many people in it.  Choices.  We have many times when we have more bills than money.  We have to figure out how to make it work.

    Also remember I've got FIVE kids (two teenagers). If I wasn't home in the afternoons after school gets out, what do you think would be going on around there?  This is why kids play sports. I'm sure you're kids just sit at home playing video games after school right? Good thing you're home to open the door.

  • yes, we all make choices. ?we make choices all day long. ?but some of the choices mentioned are so unrealistic for many of us that the mantra of "it's your choice" is extremely simplistic.

    i think what bothers me most is the narrow-minded mentality i've read about in many of AW's posts. ?Her inability to accept another individual's POV, or even recognize that what works for her may not work for anyone else, indicates to me that she is immature and, perhaps, sheltered.

  • image megs042107:

    yes, we all make choices.  we make choices all day long.  but some of the choices mentioned are so unrealistic for many of us that the mantra of "it's your choice" is extremely simplistic.

    i think what bothers me most is the narrow-minded mentality i've read about in many of AW's posts.  Her inability to accept another individual's POV, or even recognize that what works for her may not work for anyone else, indicates to me that she is immature and, perhaps, sheltered.

    Yes
  • image megs042107:

    i think what bothers me most is the narrow-minded mentality i've read about in many of AW's posts.  Her inability to accept another individual's POV, or even recognize that what works for her may not work for anyone else, indicates to me that she is immature and, perhaps, sheltered.

    Completely agreed. Self righteous also comes to mind.

  • I just find it curious that everyone assumes if in fact it IS a choice to continue working, it automatically must be the WRONG choice. Personally, I think most of the time a two income household is a necessity, but so what if it isn't? Childcare and two working parents are not dooming kids to a substandard upbringing, last I checked.

  • I missed all the drama earlier too...  but, I couldn't agree more!  I work with people who say "OMG your having a baby and coming back to work???"  these are the same people who say "now that your married I bet your in the kitchen all the time now!"  WTF is wrong with people.  My mom was a SAHM, but, I know MANY wonderful, successful people who went to daycare when little.  These people are much more independent than I ever will be, I see nothing wrong with it, being a working mother is not bad.  I can't imagine someones argument opposing it.  There are many good things that come out of it, not only the extra money... but, that doesn't hurt either.
  • image Mrs.Hizzo:
    I just find it curious that everyone assumes if in fact it IS a choice to continue working, it automatically must be the WRONG choice. Personally, I think most of the time a two income household is a necessity, but so what if it isn't? Childcare and two working parents are not dooming kids to a substandard upbringing, last I checked.

    I think the working moms were defending the decision to return to work. ??

  • PC is the most aggravating in this whole mess. Rolling my eyes so hard it hurts at her constant bragging about how much $$ she could make. I am a software engineer, I do live on 'one of the coasts', and I do have a very good salary. Oh but also, it costs sh!t ton of money to live out here. Holy jeebus if you people from Texas or Idaho or Nebraska could see how small my house is and how much we paid for it, you would laugh yourself crying. And I could always move to Silicon Valley, hahaha, and get a 1 bedroom condo for half a million dollars. I'm assuming she has some serious regrets there or she wouldn't keep harping on it.

  • We took a different route.  DH and I discussed this almost as soon as we were engaged.  We agreed that we would both prefer one of us to stay home with the kids before they're in school, if we could afford to do so.  I have a job with excellent job security and pretty good benefits, I'm in a long-term sort of career, and I'm advancing pretty fast up the promotion ladder - and I earn nearly twice what DH was making.  So we're a one-income family now - mine! 

    I will be heartbroken when it's time to go back to work (2 weeks to go.)  But DH and his siblings were raised by his dad after their mom died of cancer.  DH has always, always wanted to be a dad, and is just as amazing with our daughter as I knew he would be.  Yes, there are trade-offs.  We've begun to supplement breastmilk with formula because I simply need some uninterrupted sleep at night in order to work, and can't reliably pump more than a few times a day at work.  (But our daughter is honestly doing better now that she's getting the supplements - I wasn't producing enough milk, and nursing was a hard, hard thing for us.)  Honestly, though, from day 1 in the hospital, while I was recovering from my emergency C-section, DH is always, always willing to rock, walk, change, sing to, and otherwise meet every need our daughter has except for nursing.  She prefers to snuggle with Daddy (unless we've just nursed, she won't cuddle with me - she wants the milk!)  And I can only hope the two of them develop the kind of relationship I have with my dad, who did the heavy lifting on parenting once Mom went back to work and back to graduate school.  She's a professor now, which showed me that you can be a wife and a mom and still achieve great things - with a great husband backing you all the way.  I am blessed beyond belief to have married my DH, and our daughter is lucky beyond words to get to stay home with him.

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