3rd Trimester

DH is a jerk

So, yesterday we went to pick up the crib and to the mall to get my shower dress.  I proceeded to tell him at 5 o'clock, before we left, I was hungry, then again when we were on our way I mentioned stopping to get something, then when we were leaving the mall I made a comment about how this child is going to be starved to death if he depended on his daddy to feed him.  He then goes into this huge lecture about how I'm the one carrying this baby, it's my responsibility to eat if I'm hungry.  He can't read minds, he says.  I pretty much broke down and started crying hysterically and screaming at him telling him how I hate that it's just my responsibility and he couldn't possibly think he HAS to be a mind reader because I said something TWICE.  That's called listening, not freaking mind reading.  Ugh.  I sometimes wonder why we are doing this.  Crying  Now I'm upset all over again. 

Re: DH is a jerk

  • I hear ya...my DH last night heard me say how bad my feet hurt, saw me limping in pain while I cooked dinner, yet still managed to never once offer to cook.  I guess he couldn't 'read my mind' that I needed help.  Evidently the comments and body language weren't getting through, I needed a neon sign saying, 'GET OFF YOUR ASS AND HELP ME'.
  • Men are babies. Seems like he is having some Jealously - or feeling that he needs to cater to you or something - which he does!

    My dh frustrates me when I feel like he is being needy lately...men.

  • Men have no concept of what it feels like physically and emotionally to be solely responsible for the health of the babies we carry around with us 24/7. It would be nice if they tried to be a little more sensitive though, right? Hang in there...
  • aw these posts make me sad. My DH is always so sweet and wonderful.. your DH's really need a beat down!
  • Next time you should just stop at one of the places in the mall's food court, order yourself food...sit down and start eating...without saying anything to him.  If he says anything, be like, "What? It's MY responsibility to eat when I'm hungry, right?"  LOL....men!

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  • For easter we drove 6 hours to see his family. We were SUPPOSED to leave Tuesday afternoon to coem home b/c DH had work on Wednesday. He decided instead to leave at the asscrack of dawn on Wednesday, having us get home literally the exact moment he needed to be in for work...so instead of a nice drive including plenty of stops for your over 7 month pregnant wife, we drove straight through stopping ONCE for gas and he wouldn't feed me! I'm still mad.
  • I killed my back on Sunday, and on Monday night I asked dh to pick up groceries on the way home because I knew I would not be able to hobble around the grocery store. He brought everything in and dumped it in the hallway and flopped on the couch in front of the TV. He didn't even say hello or ask how I was feeling. Eventually he asked me if it was up to him to make dinner, too? I felt like kicking him in the teeth!!! I can barely move, and he wants an f'ing parade and medal of valour because he picked up a few things at the grocery store???

    I can't wait until MY parade....

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  • I swear they are all like this.. Mine went out last night for a bit to watch basketball. When he came home at 11pm I was sleeping (have to get up at 5:30am)  He walks into the bedroom, turns the tv onto the game and starts eating buffalo wings LOUDLY!!!  I could've murdered him!!! How rude! Just because he gets to go into work late on Friday he can do whatever he wants?  If the roles were reversed he would have flipped on me, but then again I would never be that inconsiderate.
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  • Yea that is jerk behavior. Men can be so oblivious at times. Try not to get upset and stressed. There is no point in wondering why you are doing this now, just try to stay calm, and put things in persepective, and most importantly take care of yourself and this baby. GL!
  • My DH thinks that I feel exactly the same - that nothing has changed with my health.  So he wonders why I get winded climbing stairs, and why I can't carry the dog's crate or the groceries.  Boy, is HE in for a surprise when I'm BF all the time and won't lift a finger to do the dishes or laundry anymore....
  • My DH can't stay awake long enough to feed me.  I'm on bedrest and I have a debilitating hip problem.  When he gets home, after dealing with the girls all day, I go to bed to ice my hip and get my "bedrest" in. 

    One night, I asked him if he could make me mashed potatoes.  This was at 7pm.  I waited.  And I waited.  I figured he'd do it when the oldest went to be at 8:15pm.  Waited some more.  He put her to bed.  He came back in our room and laid down.  I waited.

    The loser fell asleep.  I was so angry, I wanted to pound his face in.  Instead, I sat there and cried because I was so hungry and felt so alone.

    The next day, I said something and he said I should have "reminded him".  What, when he was asleep????

    I'm so over him.  I've decided he's useless and have learned I can't depend on him for anything.  Thankfully, I have a doula to get me through my delivery.  

  • Ok it must be *** HEAD HUSBAND week! DH called me last night to tell me he was working late, I have been trying to get him to have sex with me all week, and convienently he has had to work late every night. I found out this morning he was over someones house that we dont exactly agree upon him being friends with! He gets home at 10:30 decideds he is hungry and wants to go out to eat! WTF is open at 10:30 at night?! So he asks me to drive him because he is "soooooo tired" we drive 45 MINS to go to the SONIC he SWEARS is open 24 hrs. and guess what ladies...ITS CLOSED!!!!  So on our way home from Arbys he tells me our new neighbor is having a party tonight and he is going. I went to HS with our new neighbor and I am also best friends with his older sister, he has been a druggie, in and out of rehab since 10th grade!!!! I found DH over there Tuesday night and was pissy about it, WHY WOULD YOU THINK I AM OK WITH IT NOW??!! Use your head DH...you are in rehab for substance abuse, but you continue to surround yourself with the same type of people....I am so ready to give up!
  • wow. ?after reading these i don't think i'll be pissed at dh when he accidentally leaves his socks on the floor anymore... ?and to the op, i think if you just sit down and let him know what this pregnancy is doing to your mind and body he should be willing to be more empathetic next time. ?if not then he needs to get over himself! ?good luck!?
  • About two weeks ago BF and I had a bit of a tiff, I asked him why he seems so distant when I tell him how I am feeling regarding being pg.  He came back with a comment like:  All I ever hear is how miserable you are, or that you can't breathe or that you are swollen.  NEVER do I hear any joy.

    I did not speak to him for the rest of the day, and now when he asks me how I am feeling I tell him  "joyful"  It makes him feel like ass and he deserves it! Ahole

  • I have started to realize that my DH is a jerk too often but I never paid attention to the fact before.  I hormones are a good thing for fighting back and showing him how I really feel.

    Good luck!!!

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  • I guess mine isn't as bad as I thought after hearing some of yours.  But....I always thought he would be the best when we got pregnant, so I was disappointed none the less.  He complains that he is working so much, which he is.  But he doesn't get that the stress on our pregnant bodies is totally different than standing in a court room for 12 hours.  I just remind him that there is just so many weeks left and I need to be spoiled during that time, so don't complain when I asked to be massaged or ask for a drink and a vitamin.  Just do it and shut up.

  • I'm sorry he upset you!  Argh.  Men. 

    Maybe he just needs you to be more specific.  My DH doesn't always get the hint if I just say "I'm _____".  Most men are not subtle creatures.  I get that "I'm not a mindreader" comment a lot from my DH - never in relation to food because he is always hungry & the mere mention of food will send him straight to Subway, but in many other areas.  He tells me that hint-dropping doesn't work, I need to just come right out and say what I want/need, as directly and specifically as possible.

    Next time, if you say, "I'm hungry" when out and about and he doesn't respond to it, be more direct, and say, "I don't have any snacks with me.  I am starving.  We need to stop NOW and get something to eat, or I am going to pass out."  Hopefully that will give him the message!

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