2nd Trimester

MIL Issues... Please share!

 I totally meant to post this in 2nd tri, but I guess I did it in 1st tri on accident... hopefully ya'll will have more responses because there doesn't seem to be much over there.

  

So.. I've been on the bump ever since I first got my BFP! I've noticed a LOT of MIL vents!

I'm just curious what may be bothering you guys about your MIL's during this pregnancy, if anything. They seriously can be a pain sometimes, huh? I'll try to remember that when my son gets married. Lol. I honestly didn't have any issues w/ her what so ever until recently. But I know some girls have a worse MIL than I! So I wanna hear your stories!

The only frustration w/ my MIL that I have is that she completely takes Hubs for granted. He's the baby & does the most for her but she plays favorites w/ her oldest kids who are w/ her 1st husband. My FIL recently passed away in January & she only seems to be getting worse. We went to the lake w/ her yesterday bc she wanted DH to pull the boat down there for her & teach her how to drive & she was a complete b!tch to him the whole time & he just took it. If I were to talk to him that way... WOW, not pretty! But.. she is his mother.

So now that my vent is over, lets hear ya'lls frustrations!

Re: MIL Issues... Please share!

  • Oh girl, where do I start?

    My MIL turned two-faced when her "pumpkin" and I got serious. She told me I didn't need to have a diamond ring, he should just order me one off of QVC and that should suffice. I shouldn't be spending his money like that. And then, when I got BFP, she would keep telling me that if I didn't give her a grandson, she would be disappointed. And, that girls are no fun and all Hardings are just made to have boys so I better get used to it.

    I am just going to stop there... at the first week of mine and FI's engagement... because in the past 6 months... it has just gotten incredibly worse. To the point where we moved about an hour away from them, and now she doesn't call or text me anymore, and my blood pressure actually dropped, finally.

  • My prob with MIL is that she is the queen of catty! She makes passive-aggressive comments and NEVER passes an opportunity to make us feel stupid. She honestly feels that she is the center of the universe (when we all know for the next 5 months IT'S ME Wink ).

    Thanks a lot for reminding me of things that make me upset! Wink

  • My MIL has mental/emotional issues, was not a good parent - that's the overall.  The recent issue are her money (or lack of) issues even though she had almost $500K in life insurance from DH's dad passing away just a few years ago.  Her money issues caused a lien on our last house that DH and she at one time owned together (DH refinanced to get her name off of the deed, but apparently not soon enough) and earlier this year we had to pay almost $6K to clear the title because she didn't have the money.  I had to bring cash to closing to get rid of the house.  We might as well have lived in an apartment for eight years.

    DH and I are still really pissed about that.  We still haven't told her we're having another baby, and she hasn't seen our daughter since her first birthday party.

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  • ohh ohh! my MIL made me my own batch of banana pudding today and i cant go get it! hmmm... DH!....

    ive learned to just roll with the punches ive got a son ill be a MIL to some poor girl some day!

  • image ChrissyK88:

    ive learned to just roll with the punches ive got a son ill be a MIL to some poor girl some day!

    And when they are engaged.. and getting ready to leave your house after a visit... don't come up behind him, rub his hair and his shoulders and tell his fiance, "Isn't he just the best thing on this earth? He's perfect... I made a perfect son. I looovvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee you pumpkin."

  • image FutureHardings:

    And then, when I got BFP, she would keep telling me that if I didn't give her a grandson, she would be disappointed. And, that girls are no fun and all Hardings are just made to have boys so I better get used to it.

     

     

    I hope your next baby is a girl :)

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  • image Kristri07:
    image FutureHardings:

    And then, when I got BFP, she would keep telling me that if I didn't give her a grandson, she would be disappointed. And, that girls are no fun and all Hardings are just made to have boys so I better get used to it.

     

     

    I hope your next baby is a girl :)

    Haha... TWIN girls!!! I already told FI that we will be popping out children until I get a girl. We could have seven boys, and I'm gonna keep trying. lol.

  • image FutureHardings:

    Oh girl, where do I start?

    My MIL turned two-faced when her "pumpkin" and I got serious. She told me I didn't need to have a diamond ring, he should just order me one off of QVC and that should suffice. I shouldn't be spending his money like that. And then, when I got BFP, she would keep telling me that if I didn't give her a grandson, she would be disappointed. And, that girls are no fun and all Hardings are just made to have boys so I better get used to it.

    I am just going to stop there... at the first week of mine and FI's engagement... because in the past 6 months... it has just gotten incredibly worse. To the point where we moved about an hour away from them, and now she doesn't call or text me anymore, and my blood pressure actually dropped, finally.

     

    Oh my goodness! Well lets be thankful you're having a boy, then! Lol. Oh I'm so glad you've been able to get yourself a little further away from her. Lol. Ours lives in another city, too but a driveable distance & that only makes it worse!

  • My MIL is pretty nice to me, but it REALLY bothers me how much she favors her other kids over DH. Its very obvious... DH's sister is also expecting (announced BFP right after we did) and so its become more and more clear lately.

    DH says it doesn't bother him (although, sometimes I can tell it does) so I try to not let it bother me either... it really sucks, though.

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  • My MIL has been the source of many disagreements between DH and I, he is convinced that I hate her even though I won't say that I do. The most recent issue that deals with the pregnancy was a doozie!

    We told both our parents about the baby around 9 weeks, as soon as we had our first U/S confirmation. We asked them to keep it a secret until we got thru the 1st tri, not a problem. MIL wanted us to individually call his brothers and sisters to share the good news, well between his family and my family and all our friends that we wanted to tell, I just sent an email out to everyone. DH was going to call his sister and brother later that evening to discuss.

    Well, sister called MIL first when she read the email (why she didn't call us first, I don't know). She just happened to be sitting on her computer when I sent the email, so she read it within 30 minutes. MIL calls DH and starts going off on him about why we didn't call and all this mess. They got into a huge screaming match on the phone and he ended up hanging up on her. She sent an email the next day that was 4 paragraphs long and she told us that we gave them the worst insult possible. She blamed the whole situation on us and never apologized for what she said.

    Talk about drama! We deal with this crap all the time, and DH wonders why I'm not a big fan of the MIL. To make matters worse, they only live an hour away and he complains that we don't visit them as much as we visit my parents who are only 25 minutes away. Hmmm...I wonder.

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  • I just wanted to say that I feel so bad for you ladies and your crazy MILS! My MIL died tragically a few months before DH and I started dating. I never even met her. I do admit, I would like my baby to have a grandma. It does make me sad to think that she is gone. But the good news is that she is with our four other babies in heaven. :)

    I love hearing your vents; please continue to share!!

    Our angel is in heaven 12/12/08
    BFP 2/25/09
    HCG 3/6=518 3/8=1230
    1st Ultrasound 3/18 FHR=103
    2nd U/S 3/20 FHR=118!!
    3rd U/S 4/1 FHR=169 :)
    BIG U/S 5/22=IT'S A BOY! FHR-148
    DS Born October 30, 2009
    BFP 5/27/11 Stick baby, stick!
    HCG 5/31=140 P=9 HCG 6/2=292 P=11
    1ST Ultrasound 6/15 FHR=109!!
    U/S 8/18=IT'S A BOY! FHR-141 :)
    DS Born January 20, 2012
    BFP 5/27/13 EDD 2-5-14
    U/S 8/17 FRH-141 It's a boy!!


  • DH is an only child, so her world revolves around him.  She acts like these babies are going to be her 2nd and 3rd sons instead of her grandsons.  Not going to happen.  She also buys us so much crap that we don't need/want just because she thinks we HAVE to have it without asking first.  We have a closet full of 9+month old sized clothes that we have no idea if they'll be in season or not when the boys are actually that size.  But she had to buy them because they were on clearance!

    The latest is that she wants to feel the babies move but refuses to ask.  DH said that's just not "her".  Well, if she asks, I'll let her.  Everyone else that asks is allowed.  I just don't want her grabbing me without asking first, which is exactly what she ends up doing!  So it's weirder to ask someone than to just grab at them???  Geez!  Apparently, the explanation is that she's southern and I'm a northerner.  Down here, personal space isn't a big deal like it is to us Yankees Wink  Here I thought it was just common courtesy to not grab someone's body part!

  • My MIL is total opposite from most that I have read about - not really involved.  She essentially moved on from her first three kids once she remarried.  When my husband was 18 and went into the Navy she sold his car without his knowledge, never went to her oldest daughters wedding, left the 2nd husband and married a third time and left her newly turned 18 year old and small child and moved across country (both were living with her at the time).  She would come back to visit and never tell DH (he worked at the airport and would run into her - she would say, "I meant to call you and tell you I was coming...." and then she would get her picture professionally taken with just her two daughters...weird.  She's trying to get her now 18 year old out of the house because she believes 18 year olds should be self sufficent. My 18 year old BIL has some issues as he's very developmentally immature - probably because he was shifted around from household to household when one parent was tired of raising him.   She's just not very motherly.

    To be fair as possible, she is nice when you meet her (I've met her 4 times total as she lives in another state).  I have no real personal issue with her other than I know the backstory of how she treated all of her kids.   

     

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  • My MIL I get along great, she is my best shopping buddy actually.  I work with her everyday so it is a good thing that we get along so well....but.

    She is so irritating to go out to eat with.  She complains constantly about how slow the wait staff is or if the food doesn't come fast enough it is all the wait staffs fault.  she refuses to order her drinks and food at the same time because they will forget to bring our drinks.  She gets upset if someone elses glass is half full(someone elses glass, not just her own)!  She won't eat until the glass is filled, even though she is looking for the waitress she won't flag her she makes someone else do it.  It is totally embarassing to say the least.  She thinks she should be the only one they are waiting on.  I told her she should try being a watiress and she said she would be a great waitress.  My FIL said "yah, she would tell them they would have to wait a moment because she wasn't ready yet."  MH just ignores it, FIL tells her she needs to calm down and I'm just mortified most of the time.

  • My inlaws tease each other alot and a few years ago when my Sister in law was pregnant, I complained to my hubby about how mean they were to her. She has always been a pretty small girl and so she got a little chubby - but who doesn't in those last few months...so anyway, I told my hubby that I'd cry if my MIL ever made those comments to me while I was pregnant. I have always struggled with my weight and would be very sensitive to comments about that. He felt the need to share that with her and after she'd had a few drinks she let me know that she was certain I'd be much bigger than her daughter when I was pregnant. Since then its been my goal not to get prego so i didn't have to listen to her comments about how big I look when I am pregnant. Now that I am prego, she has made it obvious that she wants it to be a boy even though she knows I am hoping for a girl. I told my hubby that my goal is also for her to not see me throughout the rest of my pregnancy (which I know is not realistic). i don't even look pregnant yet though so maybe I should see her soon.

  • My MIL is a darling lady who respects our space and wants a healthy grandbaby & healthy daughter-in-law.  Yay for my MIL!!!
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