3rd Trimester

Poll: Mother in delivery room

Who is having their mother in the delivery room?  If not, how did she handle it?

My mom won't be with us.  Originally my mom wasn't happy about our decision.  Then she got over it.  Well last night she started playing the guilt card.  Ridiculous!

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Re: Poll: Mother in delivery room

  • my mom will be.

    and she better consider herself lucky.

  • Nope, my mom won't be there...she lives in Texas and we live in Kansas. She's visiting a few weeks after the baby is born. She is fine with it!
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  • No. She's full of drama. I'm sure she will get over it.
  • we had my mom there- and i'm glad we did. But my mom is VERY laid back- I knew she would not make comments, try to take control, etc... She barely said a word - just did what the nurses told her to do- and did what we asked her to do (get us drinks, take photos, etc).

    there is not one other person that i could have had in there - anyone else would have annoyed me and DH.

    At first DH wasn't crazy about having anyone there with us - but i explained how it would be helpful- so he agreed- and in the end he was very glad she was there- so i was never left alone, etc.

    but if she was annoying in any way- i would not want her there- and it sounds like your mom is already annoying- so no- i don't let her in!

  • aynjcaynjc
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    My mom will not be in the room during delivery.  My sister had a baby in July and she wasn't in the room so I think she took my news a little easier.  She's an OB/GYN nurse so she would drive me crazy in there.
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  • My mom will NOT be...and we haven't talked about it yet, but I'm sure she won't be happy about it.  She will just have to get over it though...that's a time for just me and DH.  Our baby...our time. 
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  • The plan is to have my mom, DH's mom and doula in the delivery room.  I have a very good relationship with them all so it's cool for me and I want them there.  Plus, I had a c-section with my first so I think it would be nice to have them there supporting me this time around.

    I can definitely understand NOT wanting to have anyone but DH in there though and I would just stand my ground and tell her that it's something you'd like to experience together.  I LOVE when moms pull the guilt card!

  • She hasn't asked me yet but I don't plan on having anyone in there except DH. This is our moment and do not feel that anyone else should be in there.

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  • I have the opposite problem.  I WANT my mother in there and she dones't want to be in the room.
  • I told my parents about a month ago that no one is coming back into my room and they seemed to take it well. They haven?t brought it back up. DH and I just told his parents on Friday and they were all upset and gave me a look. But I don?t care, this is DH?s and my day no one else?s. They will get over it

  • My mom was with DD and probably will be with DS. She took a bunch of pics for me so that I could be attended to my the Dr and so that DH would bond with DD and all at the same time we still had someone to take pics of those first few moments. I def want that again.
  • My Mom will be in the room with us.... if she makes it here in time....even if I didn't want her in there, I'd break her heart if I told her no....
  • Mom can hang out before and after, but during, it will be just the 2 of us (+ doc, etc.).  She was NOT pleased at first and did try playing the guilt card, but I had 2 things working for me.  First, her mother was not in the delivery room for my brother or myself.  Second, I invited her and my dad to a second u/s that I had that DH was out of town for.  They were absolutely honored and thrilled to be included.

    Can you think of some other way to include her in your pregnancy in a special way?  I know I just stumbled onto my opportunity, but it worked like a charm.

  • My mom didn't speak to me for 3 weeks after I told her she wasn't going to be in there.

    I think she's still pissed about it, and I won't be surprised if she tries to push her way in.

    Thank god the nurses in our L&D are willing to play the meanie/guard!!! I'm really going to need them.

  • image MidwestTexan:
    Nope, my mom won't be there...she lives in Texas and we live in Kansas. She's visiting a few weeks after the baby is born. She is fine with it!

    I wish my mom was like this!  My dad totally is.  He is coming up for business this week anyways.  If Jellybean hasn't shown up by then he said he will come back in a couple of weeks.  Thank you dad for being sane!

    image gris~gris:

    Mom can hang out before and after, but during, it will be just the 2 of us (+ doc, etc.).  She was NOT pleased at first and did try playing the guilt card, but I had 2 things working for me.  First, her mother was not in the delivery room for my brother or myself.  Second, I invited her and my dad to a second u/s that I had that DH was out of town for.  They were absolutely honored and thrilled to be included.

    Can you think of some other way to include her in your pregnancy in a special way?  I know I just stumbled onto my opportunity, but it worked like a charm.

    I told her she can hang out in the room before I start pushing, but she is so controlling that she would be up in everyone's business.  She would make it a million times more stressful than it needs to be.  If she could stand in the corner and be calm, I would be a lot more willing.

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  • My mom will be in the room with me and DH but once the baby is born and she sees everything is okay she said she will leave and come back later to spend time with us and the baby so we are able to have our own time.
  • I wanted my mom in the delivery room, maybe not for the pushing but for everything up until that point, but she lives in South Carolina so she won't be able to make it down in time for the birth.  I'm kinda sad about it, but there isn't much I can do.  She is planning to come down a few days later. 
  • My mom won't be, nor does she want to be.  She doesn't want to see me in any pain because she is a big advocate of "take the drugs they have for you!" and I want to stay natural, which she can't understand. 

    Plus, she lives 9 hours away, so she couldn't get here quickly to help me much during the process if we called her!

     She's coming up when the baby is a week old to stay with me for 2 weeks after DH goes back to work.

  • No, she will not be there.  My mom is good about not being pushy with stuff - she never even brought it up.  She does want to wait in the waiting room, though, which is fine with me... but I feel bad that she could be sitting there for God knows how many hours before the little stinker comes out!
  • I don't plan on my mom being in there....but if things get bad, and I need my mom then she will be.
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  • My mom will be there.  My husband doesn't care either way and we are just nervous about the whole situation so I want her there!! She is quiet and laidback but also supportive and VERY excited!!!
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  • Nope. never. I could never have anyone in there besides DH and medical personnel.
  • If hell freezes over or pigs fly my mom can be in the delivery room.  I can't stand her voice when I am trying to concentrate! I used to play softball in HS and college and I actually called time and stepped out of the batter's box to tell her to shut up because she was distracting me. I can only imagine how her being in the delivery room would be.  Thankfully we now live on opposite sides of the country and I was able to explain to her she would be most helpful after the baby comes and my husband's leave runs out.
  • I would love for my mom to be there.  She flat out refused.  She said its too much to watch your child go through something so painful (lol) and not be able to do something about it.

    My MIL is *dying* to be in the room but that is not going to happen.

  • My mom lives on the other side of the country, so she wont be here. My MIL lives about 4 hours away. I invited her, but we both know she might not make it here in time. She would be here shortly after anyway. She is really laid back and shouldn't stress us out. She kows it is our time and was so excited to be included, but she knows its not about her.

    She understands the bonding time and I am just going to write the "golden hour" into our birthing plan and let the nurses herd my BFF, my sons and MIL out, pretty much right after. Then they can come in when we are all cleaned up and I have had a shower and changed. I think they will welcome it anyway, since they can run out and get something to eat.

  • My mom is but only because I thought she was going to go into hysterics when I told her she wasn't. Then I realized how important it would be to her being that he's going to be her only grandchild and all. She is under strict orders to behave, however.
  • My mom figured I would want her there and invited herself at first I wanted her no were near the delivery room never mind in there with me. Still thinking about it though

  • DH and I have decided that MIL and my Mom are welcome through labor, but for the delivery they will have to scaddaddle.
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  • i don't mind my mom being there while i'm in labor (or my dad or grandmother for that matter) but when the time comes to deliver it's going to be just me and my dh. ?my mom is fine with that and actually supports our decision because she and my dad did the same thing. ?she thinks the same way we do - that this is the first and only time we'll be bringing our baby girl into the world and it's an experience we should have alone as parents. ?that being said, if i needed her in the delivery room she'd be there in a heartbeat and i know she'd do a perfect job of coaching me (i'm an only child so we're extremely close). ?i'm grateful for her attitude towards this whole thing but i expected her to accept our decision because she and my dad have always supported my decisions and have never made me feel guilty about anything. ??
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