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Who is having their mother in the delivery room? If not, how did she handle it?
My mom won't be with us. Originally my mom wasn't happy about our decision. Then she got over it. Well last night she started playing the guilt card. Ridiculous!
my mom will be.
and she better consider herself lucky.
we had my mom there- and i'm glad we did. But my mom is VERY laid back- I knew she would not make comments, try to take control, etc... She barely said a word - just did what the nurses told her to do- and did what we asked her to do (get us drinks, take photos, etc).
there is not one other person that i could have had in there - anyone else would have annoyed me and DH.
At first DH wasn't crazy about having anyone there with us - but i explained how it would be helpful- so he agreed- and in the end he was very glad she was there- so i was never left alone, etc.
but if she was annoying in any way- i would not want her there- and it sounds like your mom is already annoying- so no- i don't let her in!
The plan is to have my mom, DH's mom and doula in the delivery room. I have a very good relationship with them all so it's cool for me and I want them there. Plus, I had a c-section with my first so I think it would be nice to have them there supporting me this time around.
I can definitely understand NOT wanting to have anyone but DH in there though and I would just stand my ground and tell her that it's something you'd like to experience together. I LOVE when moms pull the guilt card!
She hasn't asked me yet but I don't plan on having anyone in there except DH. This is our moment and do not feel that anyone else should be in there.
I told my parents about a month ago that no one is coming back into my room and they seemed to take it well. They haven?t brought it back up. DH and I just told his parents on Friday and they were all upset and gave me a look. But I don?t care, this is DH?s and my day no one else?s. They will get over it
Mom can hang out before and after, but during, it will be just the 2 of us (+ doc, etc.). She was NOT pleased at first and did try playing the guilt card, but I had 2 things working for me. First, her mother was not in the delivery room for my brother or myself. Second, I invited her and my dad to a second u/s that I had that DH was out of town for. They were absolutely honored and thrilled to be included.
Can you think of some other way to include her in your pregnancy in a special way? I know I just stumbled onto my opportunity, but it worked like a charm.
My mom didn't speak to me for 3 weeks after I told her she wasn't going to be in there.
I think she's still pissed about it, and I won't be surprised if she tries to push her way in.
Thank god the nurses in our L&D are willing to play the meanie/guard!!! I'm really going to need them.
MidwestTexan:Nope, my mom won't be there...she lives in
Texas and we live in Kansas. She's visiting a few weeks after the baby
is born. She is fine with it!
I wish my mom was like this! My dad totally is. He is coming up for business this week anyways. If Jellybean hasn't shown up by then he said he will come back in a couple of weeks. Thank you dad for being sane!
gris~gris:Mom can hang out before and after, but during, it will be just the 2 of us (+ doc, etc.). She was NOT pleased at first and did try playing the guilt card, but I had 2 things working for me. First, her mother was not in the delivery room for my brother or myself. Second, I invited her and my dad to a second u/s that I had that DH was out of town for. They were absolutely honored and thrilled to be included.Can you think of some other way to include her in your pregnancy in a special way? I know I just stumbled onto my opportunity, but it worked like a charm.
I told her she can hang out in the room before I start pushing, but she is so controlling that she would be up in everyone's business. She would make it a million times more stressful than it needs to be. If she could stand in the corner and be calm, I would be a lot more willing.
My mom won't be, nor does she want to be. She doesn't want to see me in any pain because she is a big advocate of "take the drugs they have for you!" and I want to stay natural, which she can't understand.
Plus, she lives 9 hours away, so she couldn't get here quickly to help me much during the process if we called her!
She's coming up when the baby is a week old to stay with me for 2 weeks after DH goes back to work.
I would love for my mom to be there. She flat out refused. She said its too much to watch your child go through something so painful (lol) and not be able to do something about it.
My MIL is *dying* to be in the room but that is not going to happen.
My mom lives on the other side of the country, so she wont be here. My MIL lives about 4 hours away. I invited her, but we both know she might not make it here in time. She would be here shortly after anyway. She is really laid back and shouldn't stress us out. She kows it is our time and was so excited to be included, but she knows its not about her.
She understands the bonding time and I am just going to write the "golden hour" into our birthing plan and let the nurses herd my BFF, my sons and MIL out, pretty much right after. Then they can come in when we are all cleaned up and I have had a shower and changed. I think they will welcome it anyway, since they can run out and get something to eat.
My mom figured I would want her there and invited herself at first I wanted her no were near the delivery room never mind in there with me. Still thinking about it though