3rd Trimester

Clicky Poll- Is DH spending the night?

Re: Clicky Poll- Is DH spending the night?

  • The hospital does not have cots or anything for the husbands to sleep on...it would be uncomfortable in a chair.
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  • Not spending the night because a.) he will not be able to sleep there, b.) we'll have IL's and parents here and c.) he needs to take care of the dogs.
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  • He doesn?t want to stay but I think he will end up staying I don?t want to be alone; he wants to go home with the animals, get last minute things done, and get some rest. All his plans do make sense though so not sure.

  • image Kris721:
    The hospital does not have cots or anything for the husbands to sleep on...it would be uncomfortable in a chair.

    Lol, if my FI pulled the uncomfortable line on me I tell him to grow a baby and push it out of his vag and get back to me.

    My FI is staying with me whether he wants to or not (but he's super, maybe overly, protective of me and wouldn't leave me alone in the hospital)

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  • You better believe it!  Our L&D rooms have a chair that folds into a bed for the spouses.  It may be uncomfortable, but he is sticking it out with me.  He actually asked if he could stay because he doesnt want to miss out on the first night. 
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  • Yup- assuming a private room is available.
  • yes- he'll spend every night there with me (4 nights since i'm having a c/s) and my DS will be staying with my sister and her family.
  • I would be very upset if my husband told me that.  You are not being overly sensitive. I can understand what the pp's are saying if there is only a chair in the room but would you be able to send the baby to a nursery so YOU the one who delivered can get some sleep too? 

    My hospital does not have a real nursery because their policy is to have babies with their parents at all times.  DH will stay with me unless my parents can't make it on time to watch DS. 

  • i asked DH not to stay b/c i need to get the rest. last time he stayed every night and i was so aggravated. I was sore form C/S and i just wanted to lay there and get better.  i wanted the nights alone to relax. since i knew one i was home with baby it was going to be hell. which it was.

    last time the dog was so freaked out b/c he had not been home it made the home comming very stressfull. so dh will go home everynight at 6 and come back at 7. perfect!

  • Our hospital offers only 15 semi-private rooms so if I have to share it with another woman it's illegal for him to stay overnight. He might sleep on the other bed in the room if it's vacant, but we live only 5-10 minutes away from the hospital so I wouldn't mind if he wanted to sleep in our own bed - he's 6'5, so not every bed is long enough for him.
  • hijoihijoi
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    Yes, he's staying.  This is our first, and probably only, and we don't have any animals to take care of,  so the only time he is planning on leaving (as of right now) is when I send him to get me a turtle sundae, and get new batteries for the camera, which I am sure he will need.
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  • Postpartum recovery rooms at my hospital have a futon that folds out into a twin bed thingee for husbands to sleep on.  Though they aren't as big as the fancy L&D rooms, all the postpartum rooms at the hospital are private.

    So, there is no way his @$$ is NOT spending the night.  He's not leaving the hospital until I do!

    It would be different if we had other kids, etc.  This is our first - he's not leaving my side!!

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  • I would be really hurt if my DH said he wasn't spending the night to "get some sleep".  Seriously, my DH will be spending the night and would even if it were on the floor with no blanket in the hallway.

  • DH isn't thrilled about it, but he will be staying at the hospital with me.  I'm terrified of hospitals and I'm not really giving him the choice.
  • image erino&chrish:

    I would be really hurt if my DH said he wasn't spending the night to "get some sleep".  Seriously, my DH will be spending the night and would even if it were on the floor with no blanket in the hallway.

    This is how my DH is as well. He would not leave.

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  • It's the policy of the Alternative Birth Center where we plan on delivering that SOMEONE (preferably the husband/partner) stays with the new mama for the first 24 hours.  I don't quite remember the rationale is.  Ah.  My husband reminds me that that period is crucial to learning a lot of newborn care stuff - they teach you how to bathe your baby and give you nursing/feeding pointers and lots of information that it would behoove the second caretaker to learn.  (Plus, that first day is big for bonding!)

     You might want to talk to your husband to see if you can cut past the "I want to get some sleep" excuse.  It's possible that he doesn't want to be in the way of new mama-baby bonding, or doesn't know what you expect of him, or feels like he'd just be in the way.  Guys aren't very good at articulating a sense of incompetence.

  • Hospital has either a chair or loveseat in each room that pulls into a cot, and he'll be staying the night with me. If I don't get sleep, neither does he :-)  He will go home at some point each day to let our dog out and feed the dog and cat, but then he'll come back to the hospital.
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  • There's no place for him to sleep at the hospital except the chair. Never mind if we don't get a private room, he'd probably disturb the other woman too. I also think its important for one of us to get some sleep. And we have a dog at home.?
  • He will be going home to take care of the dog.  I'm not worried about being there alone, my mom said she was so pooped that it didn't matter who was in the room.  Things may change if i have a c/s though.
  • He is not spending the night because we live 5 min. from the hospital.  I rather him get a good nights sleep at home because I know he won't at the hospital.  He'll probably stay late and come back early. 
  • Our hospital has a pull-out bed for DH, but even if it didn't, you bet your ass he would be spending the time with me!

    I was actually really shocked, and somewhat annoyed, at our childbirth class when the instructor recommended husbands going home and sleeping the first night. I understand her logic- that mom and baby are going to be busy getting checked on by nurses all night long, and that it will be easier to handle the 2nd night if one of the parents is running on a good nights sleep... but F that!

    My DH wouldn't feel comfortable leaving his wife and newborn baby on their first night as a family... even though the hospital is one of the safest places to be... and even though we live 3 blocks away :)?

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  • image leahbrazil:

    image Kris721:
    The hospital does not have cots or anything for the husbands to sleep on...it would be uncomfortable in a chair.

    Lol, if my FI pulled the uncomfortable line on me I tell him to grow a baby and push it out of his vag and get back to me.

    lol we think alike! ?dh is staying with me - i asked to see what he wanted to do and he looked at me like i was crazy to expect him to go back home. ?he's excited about the rooming in option and being able to hold her while staying in our room. ?

    ?ETA: ?and we have dogs as well but my parents will be watching them thankfully otherwise he would have to go home to take care of them!?

  • DH will be spending the WHOLE week there (c-section) and he's actually looking forward to it.  1) He's not going to be working 2) He wont need to take care of our daughter  3)it can be relaxing in the hospital and he can eat off my plate and so we get 3 decent meals brought to us a day w/ no clean-up! 

    Yes, the pull out chair thing sucks, but hey...tell him to suck it up!!!  yhou're the one giving birth..he should suffer too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • DH will be staying in the hospital with me until we're released to go home with the baby. We have two dogs, but my parents are going to feed them and take care of them while we're in the hospital. I can't imagine DH not staying, unless we had other kids to take care, regardless of how tired he felt--I mean, how tired do you imagin you'll be feeling after just going through several hours of labor and pushing a baby out? I'd be really hurt if DH didn't want to stay in the hospital with me.
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  • I don't think DH will be spending the night since he'd have to come back home and take the kids to school the following morning (given if I deliver in a weekday)  My mom could watch the kids at our house but she doesn't drive.

    But we'll see. It'll be up to him. I don't mind.

  • With DD#1 he did stay overnight on a couch type thing in the room--I would have been mad if he left me alone there--especially since the hospital was across town (40+min away).  With DD#2 he planned to but I sent him home because I was worried about DD#1 (my Dad was staying w/ her but she didn't know him that well).  That room had a sweet double bed for us to both be together--he could have slept there comfortably but DD#1 was more of a concern than me.  Plus the hospital was 5minutes away--so he could get back in a jiffy if I felt like I needed him. With DC#3--I will probably send him home again (same hospital as w/ #2)...I actually enjoyed that time I had in the hospital w/ DD#2 alone...since it will never happen again--LOL!  But if it's rough, my sister is in town now & the girls spend the night w/ her all the time--it would be fine that way too.
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  • My husband will spend the first night with me if the baby is born in the  afternoon/evening.  Otherwise I am making him go home for some sleep.   We have two children at home and I will need him alert and rested when I come home with the newborn.  At night the baby will go to the nursery.  I know that sounds heartless, but with two kids there is not much of a break when I get home.
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