If you were unasked to be a godparent

mrs.t.williams

My husbands brother asked us to be godparents to his daughter a few weeks ago. He left my husband a message yesterday saying they will just be going with his girlfriends sisters as godparents now, and not us. He said it was because we do not plan on attending the church service before her baptism (this Sunday). It is two hours away, we have a very active 16 month old which would make that difficult, and we do not attend church regularly besides. We think this is just an excuse because my husband has been avoiding BIL lately because hes a lair, and we are tired of it. Anyways would it be terrible not to attend the baptism? We were still planning on going but the more I think about it, I am on the fence.

7/04Bride

Why do you have to go to the church service the week before her baptism?  If you're not churchgoers and you're having issues with your BIL, then it's probably best not to be the godparents anyway, right?  I can't believe they would unask you though!  I'd probably still go to the baptism though.  They're family.

Toosdai

Yes, it would.

The child shouldn't be punished because you want to throw a tantrum. Granted, she is completely unaware of the situation but you should behave as if she is.

 

Mrs Manners

I would take the high road and go to the baptism and not even mention the godparent thing. I wouldn't punish your neice because your BIL is an_ass.

franciscaz

At first I was like "OH NO WAY" but after reading your post it make sense.  The church service is an important part.  He shouldn't have waited till the last minute or unceremoniously left a message, but his reasoning is good.  But than you said he was a liar and there are issues (which makes me wonder why you all agreed in the first place) and made me wonder if there are other reasons why BIL unasked ya'll. 

So you have a choice.  If I were in your shoes it would be easy not attend, but I wouldn't recomend it. That will only make things worse in the future possibly w/your DH's family.  I say take the high road, attend, bring a gift, be gracious, etc. 

jennhawk

Yes, I would go. Just let it go and be glad that you won't be in the role of godparent, which may prove to be difficult and awkward w/ your BIL anyway.

mrs.t.williams

Thanks for the quick replies. The reason I think he took back the offer was because my husbands been avoiding him lately, and I think that it was to try to hurt my hubby. My BIL is a pain, so it is hard to take the high road sometimes but it is for our niece so I am sure we will go. Thanks again!

franciscaz

You know I have some really crappy family.  One sister in particular is totally unbearable (drug arrests, DUI arrests, theft charges, lier, etc) but we suck it up and tolerate her for her son.  Now he is graduating high school and going to college on scholarship.  It makes me glad we never wrote him off b/c of her.  We all like to think we helped him a little, b/c he knew he had so many people behind him.

mrs.t.williams

Francisca...that is really good to hear, I do worry about her and have thought that I do want to be there for her. Thanks

Brewtowngrl

I would have probably done the same thing as them.  Being a god parent is very important.  You are there to spiritually guide the child.  If you are not religious or practice the religion she is being baptized into then yes, you are not the appropriate choice.  Please take the high road and go to the baptism.  If you don't go you are only punishing her and yourself for missing it

Tess12

Brewtowngrl:

I would have probably done the same thing as them.  Being a god parent is very important.  You are there to spiritually guide the child.  If you are not religious or practice the religion she is being baptized into then yes, you are not the appropriate choice.  Please take the high road and go to the baptism.  If you don't go you are only punishing her and yourself for missing it

I agree with this.  It doesn't sound like you were a suitable choice for godparents.  It was beyond rude for him to say it in a voice mail message, though.

Go to the baptism.  Coo over the baby and try to put your BIL out of your mind.