My husband and I have been married for nearly 3 years, trying for a baby the whole time, and just this past Sunday found out that we are finally pregnant after 3 rounds of Clomid and a long time of stressing about it and one miscarriage. My best friend Mary married my husband's cousin this past fall, and found out that on their first month trying, are already pregnant and due in October. (We'll be due the very end of October or mid-November). So, I've know that Mary is pregnant for nearly a month now, and I am still having difficulty determining whether or not I should offer to throw her a baby shower. Why I'm against it: Money is tight. Really tight. How can I afford to have 10-20 people over for a party where I'd need to supply food and drinks? Previous to knowing our own news: I was jealous that it wasn't me. Not so much a factor anymore. Now that she's family, isn't it rude for me to throw it, since family throwing a shower is like asking for gifts? Except I still consider her friend before family, so this argument in my mind isn't very strong. My husband hates having parties, and he would have to help set up for it, given my own condition. What if I have a miscarriage between now and then? Wouldn't that make it that much harder to throw a baby shower for her? Why I'm for it: She's my friend; my best friend. Selfish reasoning - so she will throw me one. I love throwing parties. And given the time of year, it would likely be over the summer, so we could have it outside and not be so crammed into our tiny house. I could keep the foods really simple, just beverages and cookies or something... What are your thoughts on this? I've thought about asking my husband's aunt (Mary's mother-in-law) for help in throwing it - asking her to chipping in money and things, but I tried that with Mary's sister-in-law's baby shower and got completely tossed out of the process. She loves planning parties too, and takes me out of the picture. Not what I want. Plus, she really is family. No arguments about it. But Mary doesn't really have any other friends in this area, where all the rest of our family lives, so it's not like there is someone else to share the expenses with... Any advice or suggestions are welcome! Thanks!