Not a first name but a name

midge519

a friend is going through a divorce and is changing her last name to something brand new (she's estranged from her bio family). She'll be hyphenating her sons name as well so it has to sound good. Any ideas are appreciated. 

Her name is Sara. His is Ala.ric. Current last name and first part of the hyphenation rhymes with sore-odd. She is a Euro mix of mostly German but has Scottish, Irish, Swiss, and a few others in her heritage. 

I know this is odd but we'd appreciate all your help!

saham07

she should go back to her maiden name. even though she has no connection with her bio family....it is still HER name. it is her link to herself. besides, the rift with the bio family may not be foreven

SaphireSweetie88

midge519 said:

a friend is going through a divorce and is changing her last name to something brand new (she's estranged from her bio family). She'll be hyphenating her sons name as well so it has to sound good. Any ideas are appreciated. 

Her name is Sara. His is Ala.ric. Current last name and first part of the hyphenation rhymes with sore-odd. She is a Euro mix of mostly German but has Scottish, Irish, Swiss, and a few others in her heritage. 

I know this is odd but we'd appreciate all your help!

In my opinion - She should go back to her maiden name estranged from her biological family or not. As for the baby, he should keep the last name he was given at birth. I don't think she should hyphenate the last name because that's usually used for cases where 2 people get married and the wife wants her maiden name AND husbands last name (ex: Jane Smith-Jones)

TheMcC3

That's a really personal question. have her try to think of what she'd do if she went into wit-sec. I'd choose something like "Lockhart" or "Darling" (From Peter Pan). There's a lifetime movie where a whole family changes their name to Weathers because they had weathered the storm. It's really too personal of a question for a bunch of strangers - she should get together with her girlfriends and a bottle of wine to come up with something with those that know her best. 

Also, if she hasn't done the research, she really should. In some states, you can't change a child's name without approval from both parents. Make sure she's not putting the cart before the horse, ya know?

SmrBrd2012

I agree that it's way too personal to come up with options for your friend. She will have to really think this out. Does she want a last name with meaning? A common LN? An obscure one? Does she have a hero or role model or other person that she would want to honor? Your question goes way beyond what goes well with her and her son's name.

I'm also leaning towards her going back to her maiden name unless there is some super terrible history with her family. It's still her name and has history.

virginiaunicorn11

This makes me think of Cheryl Strayed. I hope your friend finds peace and a smoother path ahead. 

oneblessedmess

I'm not really sure how strangers can help in this situation. Personally, I think if she's dead set against going back to her maiden name, then use another surname that has meaning to her. Maybe a late grandparent?

I also think it's a little silly to hyphenate her son's name with her randomly-chosen surname. And like others have said, she will most likely need his father's permission to do so. But that's me, obviously I don't know her or her story well enough to really provide a good opinion.

kimikimi

She could do what my grandfather did when he decided to change his last name (my maiden name) - flip through a phone book with your eyes closed and change it to whatever name you land on. I actually love my maiden name so glad he landed on what he did. I have a sneaking suspicion this is a tall tale though. Also do they even make phone books any more?! 

midge519

Thank you all for your input!! There is a lot of horrible family stuff that has happened that led to her being estranged from them. Way more than I can share but it's deep and personal. She wants something not super common (her maiden name is a top surname) but recognizable. Her ex is on board with the sons name being hyphenated so he can share with the both of them. It's a difficult situation but I will discuss what you've all written with her. Thank you!

oneblessedmess

midge519 said:

Thank you all for your input!! There is a lot of horrible family stuff that has happened that led to her being estranged from them. Way more than I can share but it's deep and personal. She wants something not super common (her maiden name is a top surname) but recognizable. Her ex is on board with the sons name being hyphenated so he can share with the both of them. It's a difficult situation but I will discuss what you've all written with her. Thank you!

In that case, I still say that instead of going with something random, try and pick something that has some meaning. If not a different family member, maybe someone else she admires? An author, a historical figure, a book character, or whatever. 

midge519

vineheart137 said:

midge519 said:

Thank you all for your input!! There is a lot of horrible family stuff that has happened that led to her being estranged from them. Way more than I can share but it's deep and personal. She wants something not super common (her maiden name is a top surname) but recognizable. Her ex is on board with the sons name being hyphenated so he can share with the both of them. It's a difficult situation but I will discuss what you've all written with her. Thank you!

In that case, I still say that instead of going with something random, try and pick something that has some meaning. If not a different family member, maybe someone else she admires? An author, a historical figure, a book character, or whatever. 

That's a great idea! Thank you

theglitteredpterodactyl

Just chiming in for support. My mom really struggles with what to change her last name to (20+ years after the divorce). At first it was because I threw a shit fit at having a different last name than her (I was ten and we're really close) and she was pretty estranged from her family so her maiden name was a bit too painful. We do have some fun conversations coming up with a new one, but i agree with pps, it's a personal decision that a bunch of internet strangers probably can't help with too much.