My husband had a very Catholic co-worker whose wife naturally has a baby every 18 months or so. After kid #3 was announced his supervisor joked "You know how that happens, right?"
He made the joke for every subsequent pregnancy. DH's co-worker has eight kids.
Best response to that I've ever heard: To a mother of 9: "You know what causes that right?" "Well, 9 times yes, but thousands of times nothing."
I've also heard that if you look them in the face and say quizzically "I have no idea what causes it. Could you please explain it to me!?!?" That is also quite effective lol
@aerie_star Re: the male coworker - Gross! I'm going to be absolutely mortified if any male other than my husband comments on my fertility/family planning. Sorry you have to deal with that in your workplace.
If he so much as mentions it again, I am totally just going to HR. The whole day was awkward and weird after that.
One of my students (college) said to me "But you're so pretty.... Why would you want to do this to yourself? I'm just sayin... I RUINED my moms body! She used to be so skinny and pretty and now she's fat and has flabby boobs and every time I look at her I think 'yea. I did that' and am proud of myself. Your kid is gonna think the same about you!"
I'm sorry WTF did you just say to me?!?
I wonder if anyone's broken it to her that one day, if she's lucky, she will be an old woman with flabby boobs and a "ruined" body whether she's born children or not.
March 2017 September Siggy Challenge: Favorite Fall Things
Can we add in the comments after baby?? 2 days after I had my son 8 weeks early at 5 lbs, as I was riding the elevator to the NICU at the hospital a man asked if I was pregnant with twins. I wanted to cry
I've had many people tell me "they know how I feel". Excuse me, no you dont. Until you have 4 humans growing inside of you sucking all of your energy from you and you want to vomit every 5 seconds and already can't sleep because your uterus is growing at a rapid pace, then you can tell me you know how I feel!
Ive also gotten the "well have you thought about this? And this? How about this?" Yes I'm sure I've thought of everything that you've thought of and more... because this is happening to ME.
I've had many people tell me "they know how I feel". Excuse me, no you dont. Until you have 4 humans growing inside of you sucking all of your energy from you and you want to vomit every 5 seconds and already can't sleep because your uterus is growing at a rapid pace, then you can tell me you know how I feel!
Ive also gotten the "well have you thought about this? And this? How about this?" Yes I'm sure I've thought of everything that you've thought of and more... because this is happening to ME.
Rant over....hormone are wild today!
Seriously, you have THE ultimate trump card. I use the "but I'm growing a human" excuse all the time as a joke with hubby. my sis in law is having twins so then it's always "but you're growing 2 humans so..." But you, you get to look people straight in the eye and be like "I'm growing 4 humans right now. You have nothing to say to me." You are superwoman.
People (outside of family and close friends) asking why I'd have another C-section instead of a VBAC. Does it really matter?? Nope. Plus I don't need to explain to those people that I tore internally during my first CS so VBAC would be especially dangerous. I just go with "I'd have to change doctors", which is also true.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
Recently someone asked me how I'm feeling. When I answered that I'm feeling pretty good she said "You know it's okay if you're not! It means a healthy baby!"
Just, no.
Your response should have been, "No it fucking doesn't. It doesn't mean shit. Bye bitch."
I've also heard that if you look them in the face and say quizzically "I have no idea what causes it. Could you please explain it to me!?!?" That is also quite effective lol
One of the rude customers at work yesterday asked me if I was pregnant or just getting fat. I legit looked him straight in the face and said "It's a beer belly, just getting super fat because people will stop talking to me then." He shut the hell up and walked away. The look on his face was worth it. Everyone laughed so hard.
During my last pregnancy, I had a customer ask (over the phone) if I'd gained a lot of weight. I told him I hadn't because I can't eat a lot at one time so I just eat little bits all day. He told me, "My cousin didn't gain much weight with her baby and he was born with Down's Syndrome."
1) 2) Even if not eating a lot and gaining a ton of weight did cause Down's Syndrome, why the fuck would you say that to a pregnant lady?
I recently told a friend that I was planning on registering at the end of November in case family members wanted to get us anything for Christmas, and her response was "Really? I didn't register for anything until my third trimester, you know, just in case..."
This same friend also told me that I should have my second child before I'm 35 or else I'm going to have "all kinds of problems"
Finally, said friend told my husband that he'd better be careful when he decides to take our child fishing (DH is a big fisherman) "you know, in case the baby falls in the water and drowns"
@danibanani16 the craziest part about all this is that she is pregnant too! I honestly don't think she is trying to/knows how horrible she is being, I think it's more of just her thinking that she knows all things about being pregnant since she's 7 months along (this is her first, just like me). She's kind of become the pregnancy police also. I tried to take a bite of my husband's taylor ham, egg and cheese sandwich and she freaked out and told me I couldn't because you're not supposed to eat taylor ham while you're pregnant. This coming from the same person that eats cold cuts a minimum of 3 days a week. She is generally a lovely person so I'm hoping this is all just hormone related and she goes back to normal soon. Even still, she has been hurting my feelings lately.
@gracie4400 I'm 39. I had my first at 19, my second at 38, and now this one at 39. Yes, there's more testing after 35, but that age doesn't magically mean "all kinds of problems." Your friend is a moron.
People (outside of family and close friends) asking why I'd have another C-section instead of a VBAC. Does it really matter?? Nope. Plus I don't need to explain to those people that I tore internally during my first CS so VBAC would be especially dangerous. I just go with "I'd have to change doctors", which is also true.
Yes I've found everyone has an opinion of csections and vbacs - and it's usually that if you end up with a csection that it's somehow a terrible thing. There's a "business of being born" movie about vbacs that was on Netflix not too long ago - in addition to the original (which makes it sound like if you need a csection you are the victim of a hospital scheme to cheat you out of the natural birth you need to have *eyeroll* ) I honestly think people watch those and think that they have the equivalent of a medical degree in obstetrics and are therefore qualified to give out unsolicited advice. Me? I'm just glad that modern medicine gives me an option where my babies and I are still both alive at the end of the day.
People (outside of family and close friends) asking why I'd have another C-section instead of a VBAC. Does it really matter?? Nope. Plus I don't need to explain to those people that I tore internally during my first CS so VBAC would be especially dangerous. I just go with "I'd have to change doctors", which is also true.
Omg! Yes to this! my first two were emergency csections. My second was a trial of labor that ended in an emergency Csection because of cord prolapse (baby's heartbeat disappeared) and, I literally am not allowed to labor at any hospital unless I want to drive through 2 hours of traffic to get to BC women's hospital in Vancouver.
After telling my friend this, she says, "yeah but you must be so disappointed to not get to at least try. Did you cry about it when you found out?"
i said, "no, I'm thrilled that I get a planned Csection"
People (outside of family and close friends) asking why I'd have another C-section instead of a VBAC. Does it really matter?? Nope. Plus I don't need to explain to those people that I tore internally during my first CS so VBAC would be especially dangerous. I just go with "I'd have to change doctors", which is also true.
Yes I've found everyone has an opinion of csections and vbacs - and it's usually that if you end up with a csection that it's somehow a terrible thing. There's a "business of being born" movie about vbacs that was on Netflix not too long ago - in addition to the original (which makes it sound like if you need a csection you are the victim of a hospital scheme to cheat you out of the natural birth you need to have *eyeroll* ) I honestly think people watch those and think that they have the equivalent of a medical degree in obstetrics and are therefore qualified to give out unsolicited advice. Me? I'm just glad that modern medicine gives me an option where my babies and I are still both alive at the end of the day.
Perfect response @littleSkittle14 (the part about modern medicine, I will say that next time!)
@ihateusernames* I really enjoyed my scheduled csection! I was reluctant to schedule but after it was clear that was what needed to happen - I decided to embrace it, and it was truly great. I looked like a wreck for my first emergency c section but for my planned one I had time to put on some makeup, did my hair and painted my fingernails!
I really hate when people tell pregnant women they look like they are going to "pop." To me, it conjures an image of a zit being squeezed and is rather unpleasant. I agree that the "was it planned?" comment is extremely insulting. We're in our 30s, not teenagers, and we know how to control that shizz. That was literally the first thing my MIL said to me when finding out about this little one and I wanted to cry. When I was pregnant with my daughter I went to a family party (DH's family) when I was just around my due date. Some of these people were distant relatives that I never met before. One lady asked me if I was dilating yet. What I should have said to her was "Well, if you're so interested, why don't you reach up there and check???" Seriously, I just met you. Why do people feel like a pregnant woman's nether region is a proper topic for dinner conversation?
I haven't gotten any rude comments yet, but when a friend of mine was 9 months pregnant, a convenience store cashier looked at her purchase (a snickers) and told her baby didn't need that. Pretty sure, if that had been me, I'd have been arrested.
I had my first potentially insensitive comment yesterday while getting my blood drawn for the sequential first trimester screening. The lab tech said to me, "Congrats! You're pregnant? You don't even look it!"
I'm 12 weeks along with my first, and I am still wearing my usual attire. I wasn't offended at the time because let's face it, I'm not as far along as those well into their second trimester. Still, I've got a little bump now that's visible in clingy clothes. I hope that it pops out early though, or my PgAL brain is going to start questioning things!
@dubcompanion I can't imagine the scenarios my brain would come up with if I were PGAL, but I'm 16 weeks and can still fit into my skinny jeans. I look a bit like a busted can of biscuits, but they technically fit. Baby is the size of a lemon, it's normal not to really be "showing."
@DrillSergeantCat Yep, you are very right. I will have to tell myself that over and over again for at least the next few months or until it's safe to say that the bump is glaringly present!
@dubcompanion I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they meant to put in a pregnancy magazine (I got one prior to one of my losses.). Maybe they usually give "Birth Control" out for new paps?!
last pregnancy I had a man ask me if I was going to have a vaginal birth.. ok buddy since I'm pregnant I guess my vagina is up for discussion?!? I don't go around asking guys when their last prostate exam was..
This pregnancy I already look 5 months pregnant so I can't wait to hear all the old lady comments on how big I am for my due date
last pregnancy I had a man ask me if I was going to have a vaginal birth.. ok buddy since I'm pregnant I guess my vagina is up for discussion?!? I don't go around asking guys when their last prostate exam was..
This pregnancy I already look 5 months pregnant so I can't wait to hear all the old lady comments on how big I am for my due date
That should be your response next time it happens. "I'm thinking vaginal. BTW, how is your prostate? Getting an exam soon?"
My sister just texted me what to name my kid. Number 1: she just gave birth a month ago and not once did I tell her what to name her third child, in fact I told her, "it's your kid, name him something you like". Number 2: I haben't asked for help/advice on naming my kid from her
I wasn't pregnant when this happened (but I think it still counts). My best friend commented twice that my belly jiggled when I laughed. This was while I was still in the hospital after having my daughter!!! She sincerely just noticed and commented (no filter) and never said another word when I called her on it, but I was still fairly horrified!
My sister just texted me what to name my kid. Number 1: she just gave birth a month ago and not once did I tell her what to name her third child, in fact I told her, "it's your kid, name him something you like". Number 2: I haben't asked for help/advice on naming my kid from her
My husband's aunt sent us names every couple of weeks when I was pregnant with my first. She still occasionally comments about how we didn't choose her babe and how nice it was.
Re: Things NOT to say to pregnant women
2 days after I had my son 8 weeks early at 5 lbs, as I was riding the elevator to the NICU at the hospital a man asked if I was pregnant with twins. I wanted to cry
Ive also gotten the "well have you thought about this? And this? How about this?" Yes I'm sure I've thought of everything that you've thought of and more... because this is happening to ME.
Rant over....hormone are wild today!
I use the "but I'm growing a human" excuse all the time as a joke with hubby.
my sis in law is having twins so then it's always "but you're growing 2 humans so..."
But you, you get to look people straight in the eye and be like "I'm growing 4 humans right now. You have nothing to say to me."
You are superwoman.
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
Done that.
During my last pregnancy, I had a customer ask (over the phone) if I'd gained a lot of weight. I told him I hadn't because I can't eat a lot at one time so I just eat little bits all day. He told me, "My cousin didn't gain much weight with her baby and he was born with Down's Syndrome."
1)
2) Even if not eating a lot and gaining a ton of weight did cause Down's Syndrome, why the fuck would you say that to a pregnant lady?
I recently told a friend that I was planning on registering at the end of November in case family members wanted to get us anything for Christmas, and her response was "Really? I didn't register for anything until my third trimester, you know, just in case..."
This same friend also told me that I should have my second child before I'm 35 or else I'm going to have "all kinds of problems"
Finally, said friend told my husband that he'd better be careful when he decides to take our child fishing (DH is a big fisherman) "you know, in case the baby falls in the water and drowns"
I. just. can't.
BTW - excuse my bitchiness today.
my first two were emergency csections. My second was a trial of labor that ended in an emergency Csection because of cord prolapse (baby's heartbeat disappeared) and, I literally am not allowed to labor at any hospital unless I want to drive through 2 hours of traffic to get to BC women's hospital in Vancouver.
After telling my friend this, she says, "yeah but you must be so disappointed to not get to at least try. Did you cry about it when you found out?"
i said, "no, I'm thrilled that I get a planned Csection"
(the part about modern medicine, I will say that next time!)
I agree that the "was it planned?" comment is extremely insulting. We're in our 30s, not teenagers, and we know how to control that shizz. That was literally the first thing my MIL said to me when finding out about this little one and I wanted to cry.
When I was pregnant with my daughter I went to a family party (DH's family) when I was just around my due date. Some of these people were distant relatives that I never met before. One lady asked me if I was dilating yet. What I should have said to her was "Well, if you're so interested, why don't you reach up there and check???" Seriously, I just met you. Why do people feel like a pregnant woman's nether region is a proper topic for dinner conversation?
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d2ae4[/img][/url]
I'm 12 weeks along with my first, and I am still wearing my usual attire. I wasn't offended at the time because let's face it, I'm not as far along as those well into their second trimester. Still, I've got a little bump now that's visible in clingy clothes. I hope that it pops out early though, or my PgAL brain is going to start questioning things!
"You eat SO much! And you've gone to the bathroom like 5 times today!"
"I don't know why women keep having babies, but apparently it's what they do.."
"I don't know why this place keeps hiring pregnant women"
and my (LEAST) favorite one from someone else:
"are you going to schedule this birth"?
EXCUSE ME?!
At my first prenatal appointment, I got a bag of paperwork and a copy of "Birth Control" magazine.
This pregnancy I already look 5 months pregnant so I can't wait to hear all the old lady comments on how big I am for my due date
That should be your response next time it happens. "I'm thinking vaginal. BTW, how is your prostate? Getting an exam soon?"