Infertility

PLEASE don't say that! :D (loss mentioned)

2

Re: PLEASE don't say that! :D (loss mentioned)

  • @dragonfaerie YES it's like some people cannot grasp that it actually might NOT happen for us! Like, no, it's not just a matter of time. If it were I'd just chill and wait it out at home, med-free, and skip all those invasive, uncomfortable, and expensive procedures!

    Also please don't tell me that "miracles" happen. Do you really think I want to wait for a MIRACLE (defined as "an event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws") to fulfill a very natural human desire to have a biological child?
    How is that comforting?

    OK, end rant. :)




    Me: 33, PCOS with anovulation
    DH: 36, No known issues
    TTC since 11/2014
    1000mg Metformin daily

    Oct-Dec 2015: Letrozole 5mg, Ovidrel, TI = BFN x 2
    Feb-May 2016: Letrozole 5mg, Ovidrel, TI, Prometrium = BFN x 3
    August 2016: Clomid 100mg no response, Letrozole 5mg, Ovidrel, TI, Prometrium = BFN

  • "You can adopt or foster..."

    "It always happen when you stop actually trying."

    And the most irritating of them all. A co-worker actually said this to me the Friday before Mother's day two weeks after my MC.

    "Why are you celebrating mother's day? You aren't really a mom. No offense."

    As if the no offense some how makes up for her total douche remark.
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  • @Kay6519 what a hurtful thing to say! I can't believe she would think that's ok. Ppl continue to amaze me with their stupidity and thoughtlessness. 
    TTC #1 since August 2013
    Unexplained/ Endo
    Medicated IUIs # 1-3 BFN
    IVF #1- BFN
    FET #1- BFP; Ectopic pregnancy found at 7wks
    FET #2- February 2017 BFP  Beta #1- 119 (8dp5dt) Beta #2- 475 (12dp5dt)
  • srh18srh18 member
    Just had to rant this out for a second--I was talking to my bff this morning after my iui and telling her about how we are moving on to ivf if this iui doesn't work. She said, "Why don't you guys just adopt? This seems like a lot of stress." Im not even going to add any of my own commentary to that. I was so irritated. 
  • @srh18 because adoption is low stress?  So many things wrong with that statement. 
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • @kay6519 I am a mom with or without IF! I am a mom to my four legged babies.... My cat and dog mean the world to me just as much as any baby could ever and they make me a mom so tell her to go suck an egg! Mother's Day is for aunts and godmothers and anyone who feels like a mother to anyone and anything. Sorry I'll step off my soapbox now lol :p
    Lilypie Maternity tickers

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • From everyone who knows about the miscarriage I just had: "this is great news!" (because apparently  not carrying a child to term  guarantees I'm going to have a child)

    From my RE today: "there is no baby until after 12 weeks" (OK, yeah, so I'll just stop being upset at this non baby I just lost) and "I refer to this as just a dud"

    From more people than I can count: "at least you have (stepson)" (right, because raising someone else's kid from the age of 4 and constantly hearing that I'm not a real mom is totally the same)


  • When a good friends dad (whom I've known since I was 5) was asking if we were going to have kids I politely said "we are working on it" 
    He responded with "well I guess you didn't pay enough attention in health class huh!?"

    He was lucky I just walked away. I wanted to punch him!
  • @ChrisH22 The amount of times OPKS are suggested boggles my mind. It's like thank you for enlightening me that I am supposed to be having sex on fertile days. I wasn't aware of that literally most basic element of TTC. 

    Also when you are NOT OVULATING, they're not going to be much help!
    Me: 33, PCOS with anovulation
    DH: 36, No known issues
    TTC since 11/2014
    1000mg Metformin daily

    Oct-Dec 2015: Letrozole 5mg, Ovidrel, TI = BFN x 2
    Feb-May 2016: Letrozole 5mg, Ovidrel, TI, Prometrium = BFN x 3
    August 2016: Clomid 100mg no response, Letrozole 5mg, Ovidrel, TI, Prometrium = BFN

  • @LizzieJ13 Actually, opks were what alerted me that something was wrong. I had used like 80 of them, and none of them were ever positive. I googled about not ovulating, which lead me to asking my ob about Clomid, which lead me to my RE and my diagnosis!
    About us:
    Me - 28, Lean PCOS
    DH - 31
    Married June 2010, TTC since March 2014
    Blog: ourbinarystar.com

    FET cycle #3 Transfer July 28th 2016, Triplets born healthy on February 26th 2017 at 33w1d!

  • You're young, you've got lots of time to have babies - always from someone that is my age and already has at least 1 kid

    Why are you paying so much money to get pregnant when there are so many unwanted kids out there? - because adoption is free and thanks for the reminder that people who don't want kids can get pregnant

    When are you going to have a baby? It's better for you and baby if you're young when you have kids

  • my sis-in-law said "are you sure you want kids". Really? 
    OMG. THIS. This SO MUCH. Is it a SIL thing? Because mine says it, too. Like, no - not funny.

    Another frustrating thing she does (because she is, by far, the single worst offender in my world): She compares me with ONE OTHER WOMAN she knows who had similar, but not the same issues. This girl was far worse off than me (from what I know so far), and so my SIL insists nothing I am doing right now is going to help. Not for anything, but I am in FAR better health overall than the person she is comparing me to, and if you don't have all the facts about my situation, who the hell are you to assess it?! This SIL also happened to get pregnant like nothing, which I find infuriating, as she doesn't at ALL take care of herself.
    Married: 8/23/2014
    DX PCOS: 4/2016 - Metformin 2x daily
    IUI #1: 6/29/2016 - Letrozole CD 3-7, HCG Shot CD 14, Ovidrel CD 15, IUI CD 16 - BFN
    IUI #2: 7/30/2016 - 
     Letrozole CD 4-7 (doubled up CD 4), Ovidrel CD 12, IUI CD 13 
    Me 36 - DH 39


  • a new one to add: "do you really want to be THAT mom at graduation? The one over 50?" 
    Geez thanks for reminding me I'm exiting my prime child bearing years and every new year decreases those chances! 


  • @devilanne "Yep - I sure do. Thanks jerkface!"

    Some people!
    **TW**
    Me: 31, DH:33
    TTC since October 2015: MFI
    Summer 2016: 3 IUI's: BFN
    October 2016: Switched RE's and began IVF cycle 
    December 2016: Retrieved 13 eggs, 12 mature, 9 fertilized with ICSI. 5 day ET of 2 blasts with 4 frosites left. BFP!!!! EDD: 8/30/2017 
    August 25, 2017: It's a Girl!!
    April 12, 2019: FET, BFP!!! Baby BOY EDD: 12/29/2019
  • "I guess not everyone is meant to be a mom"

    I nearly punched her in the face. Needless to say, I don't talk to her anymore. Other than that, I've just got the typical responses that everyone else has already posted. :P

    TTC since 01/2011
    07/2013 - First round of testing  - CD21 and CD3 blood tests and HSG  + multiple SAs for DH
    07/2013 - Diagnosis - Anovulatory and DH has very low counts - Referral to urologist for further testing
    08/2013 - Urologist showed varcocele veins and testicular defect from birth. Unable to repair
    11/2013 - Consult with RE regarding treatment. Benched due to finances
    2014/2015 - Took break from pursuing treatment, moved to a new province
    06/2016 - DH redid SA as per direction from new family doctor - Counts have increased!!
    07/2016 - Consult with new RE - ordered a repeat HSG
    09/2016 - Providing no issues on HSG - Scheduled to start first IUI with Clomid
    01/17/2017 - First IUI with Clomid - BFP - M/C @ 9 weeks

    Come on Baby "B"! Time to come out and play!

  • How about:
    Me to colleague: "I don't know why I'm so tired today."
    Colleague: "Maybe you're pregnant!"
    Me: "Nope. Thanks for the reminder."
  • @Binkyetta I had a coworker that would say that if I ever said my stomach hurt or that I was tired, it drove me nuts! 
    TTC #1 since August 2013
    Unexplained/ Endo
    Medicated IUIs # 1-3 BFN
    IVF #1- BFN
    FET #1- BFP; Ectopic pregnancy found at 7wks
    FET #2- February 2017 BFP  Beta #1- 119 (8dp5dt) Beta #2- 475 (12dp5dt)
  • Mostly I've heard the same things you ladies have already said. I hate "just relax" and "it'll happen when you stop trying" But the one that got me the most is when DH and I got into a fight (over something small) and I was venting to my friend. And she tells me "Bringing a baby into the mix isn't going to make things any easier" Maybe it would make things a lot easier it we weren't both so stressed out and upset over the whole IF thing. Some people! 
  • Yes @Toby102008!  The whole "a baby isn't going to make it easier" is so ridiculous.  Do you know how much I would love to have sleepless nights because I'm caring for a child, rather than because I'm stressed and anxious??
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • @Binkyetta you reminded me that i have a similar one!

    me: ::getting Tums from the office kitchen::
    co-worker: oh no, stomach bothering you?
    me: just a little heartburn
    co-worker: ohhhhh. y'know, the only times i've ever had heartburn was when i was pregnant with my two boys....i'll keep my fingers crossed that you are!"

    (...i haven't told anyone at my office that DH and i are trying, let alone doing IVF. except my boss, my boss's boss (owner of the company), and one lady in HR...i've been keeping them in vague loop so they'll know when to expect when I might be late some mornings or why i have so many doctor's appointments, etc...) :neutral:
  • I would be so annoyed!!! Even long before this journey, I always made it a point not to assume anybody's choices. For all she knows, you're actively preventing. Gahhhhh, people!
  • Got this one today bc I was chowing down on some sour gummies..."do you normally like sour? When I was pregnant that's what I craved all the time".. hinting that I might be having a craving as if a person can't like something sour on  regular day....smh
    Lilypie Maternity tickers

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Ugh all the superstitious stuff our family trades in... Carry this saint's card in your pocket, wear this color, do your hair like this, move your bed over here... And everything I'm doing wrong... "you work too much" "you exercise too much" "you're too skinny" "you don't eat enough" "you drive too much" "you don't eat the right foods" "you spend too much time at the office" "you spend too much time outdoors".  And this is all from family, close family!  WTF.
  • srh18srh18 member
    I am a therapist and one of my clients (six months pregnant with her first child, conceived first month of trying) came in and told me that she was so exhausted and that I should thank god I'm not pregnant because it's just so hard. 

    ...yeah. 
  • @srh18 That makes my blood boil when people complain about being pregnant or their kids being a pain. Then say things like "you're lucky you don't have kids" Like yeah, I'm so lucky that I get to deal with infertility. I would literally give anything to deal with morning sickness and sleepless nights, screaming babies, dirty diapers, etc., instead of pills, and ultrasounds, doctors, drained bank accounts, BFNs, tears, anger, jealousy, etc. Yeah, I'm so lucky. 
  • Best most recently was a new visit to a PCP because of a spot on my face I wanted to get looked at. He insisted on going through my entire medical history and discussing why I was on Vitamin D and Synthroid which of course led to the infertility discussion. "You should probably just lose 10 pounds or so and it would solve all of that." Um thanks doc, but when we started trying 2 years ago, I was 15 pounds lighter. I've gained weight thanks to IVF drugs. Pretty sure my poor egg quality and low reserve are the problem and not my weight.

    And of course you can't help the family ones. My SIL with a 2 year old says "we never thought we were going to be able to have kids and look at us now". Gee thanks. Really helpful.
    Me: 33, Hubby: 36
    TTC since May 2014
    First RE Appt - September 2015
    DX: Hypothyroid, DOR
    IUI w/ Clomid - October 2015 - BFN
    ER - 2/10/16, 2 Day 3 Embryos
    FET - 4/15/16 - BFN
    Summer 2016 - Taking a break to try herbal treatment and acupuncture
  • @Toby102008 I would have lost my ish if that happened to me.  Oh my gosh!  I'm so sorry she said that to you!

    @BrightenMySky Amen to that!
  • I am the new proud owner of a wooden fertility statue that will do the trick
  • @saraekelley - DANG IT! If I knew that was all it was gonna take - I would've got me one of those years ago!  :D

    Me (31) & DH (31) - married 2008; TTC since 2013
    SA = normal; HSG = clear; history of DVT/PE
    Diagnosed with unexplained infertility
    IUI #1- April '16 - BFN 
    IUI #2 - May '16 - BFN
    IVF Fresh Xfer #1 (1 blastocyst) - Sept '16 - BFN
    FET #2 - 11/8/16 (2 blastocysts) - Beta on 11/18
    4 more blastocysts on ice
  • My SIL who sneezes and gets pregnant said to DH and me "well at least you'll never have to worry about birth control.  lucky."
  • @Monica54321 I know, right?! What were thinking trying anything else! 
  • saraekelley I just cracked up in my office. That'll do it!! lol
    **TW**
    Me: 31, DH:33
    TTC since October 2015: MFI
    Summer 2016: 3 IUI's: BFN
    October 2016: Switched RE's and began IVF cycle 
    December 2016: Retrieved 13 eggs, 12 mature, 9 fertilized with ICSI. 5 day ET of 2 blasts with 4 frosites left. BFP!!!! EDD: 8/30/2017 
    August 25, 2017: It's a Girl!!
    April 12, 2019: FET, BFP!!! Baby BOY EDD: 12/29/2019
  • @Elyse1384
    I literally just made this disgusted gasping noise when I read your comment.  I can't BELIEVE she said that to you!  Yikes!
  • This came from a girl who does hair at the same salon I go to. She doesn't do my hair. We've had all of 2 brief conversations. 

    She asked (while doing someone else's hair) "so, when are yall going to start having babies?" 
    I replied "when ever it happens" 

    She said "are yall preventing?" (Again, YOU DON'T KNOW ME!)  

    my reply was something like "no, I have fertility issues.  we are doing fertility treatments so hopefully soon"

    Then here's where I wanted to cry/punch her-
    "Well having kids isn't all its cracked up to be..." and proceeds to talk about all the "bad" things her kids did that week. 

    Thanks for reminding me that I don't get the joy of parenting. I would do anything to have the chance to help a child learn and grow into a kind, mature part of society. 

    Trigger warning


    me: 28 dh: 34
    married since October 2015-started trying immediately
    dx: PCOS, anovulatory
    rx: provera metformin progesterone
    *TW*
    BFP August 2016- early mc- Enoch Matthis
    1 clomid cycle (March 2017)
    BFP March 2017  ~  EDD December 13, 2017
    di/di TWINS!!!!! vanishing twin- Hannah Jordan
    DS-Nov 23, 2017- emergency induction-- Pre-eclampsia
    *End TW*
    BFP Sept.2019


  • Well at least you don't have to pay for diapers and formula and stuff right now. 
    Yeah, thanks, Instead I'm paying for medical bills

    Travel, have fun just being married with out being tied down by kids. 
    That sounds fun, we will just go to Disney by ourselves. Or we will wait till we are too old to walk all day in the hot sun.

    You're still young. You have time. 
    Yes, I want my kids to have to bury me when they are in college. 


    Trigger warning


    me: 28 dh: 34
    married since October 2015-started trying immediately
    dx: PCOS, anovulatory
    rx: provera metformin progesterone
    *TW*
    BFP August 2016- early mc- Enoch Matthis
    1 clomid cycle (March 2017)
    BFP March 2017  ~  EDD December 13, 2017
    di/di TWINS!!!!! vanishing twin- Hannah Jordan
    DS-Nov 23, 2017- emergency induction-- Pre-eclampsia
    *End TW*
    BFP Sept.2019


  • JAH87JAH87 member
    edited July 2016
    @mrsmoten313 No it's not bad that it's your family that pisses you off. Mine does on this topic all the time. My older brother has 3 boys with his booty call and he wasn't even around other than to knock her up and the day they were born, they're together now but it's taken years. My younger sister has a daughter and is due in October with a boy. I just got married in April, at my wedding shower my sister was asked if they were going to have any more children and her response was " no we don't want anymore" knowing she was already pregnant
  • Kp214Kp214 member
    edited July 2016
    Went to my general practitioner for a physical for insurance purposes and she said, "I see so many teenagers in here that don't need or want a baby and here you are struggling."  and "children are a gift from God." Gee, thanks for reminding me that my ovaries think they're old and that God doesn't want to give me this gift. I'm looking for a new primary physician. 
    Me:32 DH:36
    Me: DOR, poor egg quality, MTHFR
    DH: MFI
    TTC since 3/2014
    2015: 3 IUI's-BFN
    12/2015: 1st IVF cycle-(9 follicles retrieved, 5 mature, 3 fertilized w/ICSI, transferred 1 excellent and 1 good embryo on day 3)-chemical pregnancy
    3/2016: 2nd IVF cycle- canceled (3 follicles retrieved, 3 mature, all fertilized w/ICSI, 1 fragmented, 2 arrested) 
    3/2016: RE suggested donor eggs- taking an ivf break and to supplement 
    9/2016: 3rd ivf cycle-cancelled due to early ovulation
    Oct./Nov 2016: 4th ivf cycle- EPP-AFC:5, retrieved 10, 10 mature, 8 fertilized with ICSI, 6 blastocysts biopsied and frozen. 3 CCS normal embryos
    1/9/17: transferred 1 embryo-BFP 1/16
    1/18/17: beta #1-104
    1/20/17: beta #2-174
    2/2/17: first u/s, heartbeat of 107 at 6w1d
    7/20/17: baby boy born at 30+3 via emergency c-section 


  • There's this seriously frustrating women in my social group, who has already said disparaging things about IF treatment, and the whole "medicalization" of pregnancy, which should be earthy crunchy natural.

    I told someone else at a party that I'd had 7 failed medicated IUIs, and they asked if that was a lot.  Then this jerkface, authoritatively, said "No, it's not."

    But she sighed and, about my decision to try IVF, shrugged and said "well it *works*, and the *doctors* know people want instant gratification."

    Judgmental hippie snob.  And it freaking didn't work for me, thank you.
    Me- 39 (turning 40 in April), TTC for the first time ever (since Jan 2015), low ovarian reserve
    Married 3/14/14 to my wonderful wife, but her sperm count is rather low
    TTC with frozen donor sperm and science

    7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
    2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
    Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
    Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!  
    fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP! 
    Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)

  • srh18srh18 member
    edited July 2016
    @KLake42 I have no words aside from I am so sorry you had to deal with this ignorant a hole. 
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