To discipline or not?

melissalopez20

My LO will be 1 on Friday and his tantrums are becoming so bad. He has a temper where he fists his hands and yells really loud. He has started to bite and hit if he doesn't get his way. I am just so confused on what to do? Does he even understand when we say no? He listens a lot more to my husband, I don't know if it's because of his tone? Or if it's just me. Dinner has become a nightmare he yells when we put him in his highchair he throws the food too. I am just at a loss I don't like to yell in general so I usually just say "no, we don't do that with the food" but he doesn't seem to understand? 

KateLouise

With my children I like to take the no punishment approach to teaching personal discipline. That's ot to say there aren't consequences for poor behaviour, but I like it to be logical.

So I aim not to smack my children as punishment for aggressive behaviour, but rather remove them from me. So I'll say, "I won't allow you to hit me, you'll need to be away from me." and remove either them or me. Sometimes they might need to be removed to calm down.

With the food throwing, I'd say, "don't throw the food, that's not allowed." and then if he continued to throw the food, simply lift him down out of his high chair and put the food away. 

At the same time I try and prevent problems. If he hates his highchair,then perhaps he's ready to sit at a low chair and table. That way you don't have to fight him over it.

Best wishes, I know it's hard.

TwizBeans

Perhaps you and I think of the word "discipline" differently because that shouldn't even be a question on the 9-12 month board! Discipline to me is time out or giving consequences that your LO will actually understand. LO's are way too young to be disciplining at that age.

This is totally normal for a one year old to be doing and it surprises the hell out of most parents. Parents thought they had until at least 2 before the tantrums and fits start but NOPE!

All you can do is redirect, sternly say no or ignore the behavior. If your LO screams in the high chair and throws food, take him out. Meal time is over. You can't force them at this age, you just have to roll with whatever is happening.