ttc but traumatized from horrible miscarriage 2 years ago

twobabiesforme

Hi everyone, 

I had a horrible miscarriage a couple years ago. It was a surprise pregnancy (like a one-time not using a condom thing), and at 6 weeks I ended up miscarrying. I bled for about 10 weeks. It was hell. My doctor sent me for an ultrasound once a week for 10 weeks because he felt it would go on its own (this is after I saw the grey in the toilet). And also I was trying to avoid any surgery, so anyway after weeks and weeks of bleeding and hell that I went through (along with having a 1 year old at home at the time), it ended in surgery. And I was cleared out. He said it was thickened endometrium that was caused by the miscarriage. I don't even know what that is really all about but, anyway it was awful.

As awful awful as it was, I desperately want to have another child. More than anything for my little girl to have a sibling. But the trauma of the miscarriage, I dont know if I can handle that again honestly. 

Any words of advice or encouragement.....?

borgie05

Miscarriages are more common that people realize. The good news is that most women who have a miscarriage go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. My first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage. It was hard, but had no effect on my 2nd pregnancy which ended with a handsome and healthy baby boy. I would talk to your doctor about any medical concerns you may have about trying again. If they are not concerned about any issues then I wouldn't be either. Remember there is a risk with every pregnancy for everyone, but more likely than not everything should be ok. You've already had one healthy child, chances are you will be able to have one again. Good luck!!

PolarBear517

My only experience with pregnancy was an unplanned pregnancy 8 years ago that ended at 5 weeks, not long after my missed period and positive pregnancy tests. My physical experience was not as traumatic, with only 1 week of bleeding (2 days or so longer than my normal period). I was young and in a very new relationship and not ready for a baby, but I felt like I was going to have a baby as soon as a got that positive test. The miscarriage really threw me off and it was heartbreaking despite the less than ideal conditions under which I was about to become a mom. I'm a few months out from stopping BC and trying now. I had spoken with a few medical professionals over the years regarding this concern- and they have all said there is no reason to believe I'm at an increased risk for miscarriage or will face repeated miscarriage. It just happens, fairly regularly, although many people don't talk about it so it doesn't always seem that way. I will say that I'm not sure if I'll feel like I'm actually going to have a baby until I see an U/S this time around. It did change my perspective, but I'm excited to finally become a mother at the "right" time in my life. I hope you are able to start feeling some excitement as well! If this is something you want, don't let your past experiences hold you back! There is no medical reason to 

borgie05

@PolarBear517 that's exciting that you are just about ready!! Yes, you definitely don't feel like it's real until that first u/s that shows everything looks good. With my son they let me do one at 8 weeks because I was so nervous due to my previous miscarriage. I was shaking I was so nervous going to the u/s appt. I had 2 ultra sounds with my first pregnancy and so I was only used to getting bad news. But as soon as I saw my little gummy bear wiggling around like crazy, it finally felt real and that everything would be ok. I was so thankful and relieved... It was the best feeling ever!

nmrosetta

In the exact same boat, hugs! 

jlovesky

I know your post is from some time ago-hope you are doing well! We found out we were prego with #2 just before our son turned 3. We were on cloud 9. I got to see the baby moving all over at the 12 week ultrasound and then we came in the next week for an internal ultrasound due to the baby being a bit small and were told that there was no heartbeat. It was devastating and we weren't sure how to proceed from there. We ended up conceiving again only a few months later and after a brief scare early on, that pregnancy went on to turn into our wonderful second son! Good luck to you!