Weekly Check In 4/8

lickastick

How far along are you? 

How you doin- symptoms/cravings/aversions?

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?)

Rants/Raves/Questions:

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have?

carrieandr

How far along are you? 24 weeks tomorrow

How you doin? Pretty good. Still have intermittent back/hip pain and insomnia at night.

Baby news: Tomorrow she's officially viable! My cousin's wife had a baby at 24 weeks in October, so I know that "viable" is not the same as fully developed, but it still feels like a nice milestone.

Rave: I'm really making progress on my registry. Woohoo! And my childbirth class is tomorrow. They give a tour of the birthing suites afterward, too. That's gonna make the delivery seem more real.

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have? I liked to read and draw. It would be nice if my daughter inherited my artistic talents. But mostly I'm excited for her to experience a lot more travel than I did. My husband is from Ireland and I didn't have a passport until shortly after we met. In the 5 years we've been together, I've been to Ireland (twice), Italy and Peru, as well as NYC, and DC. (And NC and OH to visit friends and family.)

lillebowski23

How far along are you? 27w2d

How you doin? Starting to have some crazy mood swings and I have a new symptom: carpal tunnel syndrome! I bought a couple of wrist braces to wear in bed at night (since that's the only time it bothers me and apparently is caused by increased fluid retention in my hands) which seems to help. Also my digestive system is a little screwy this week but otherwise I still feel pretty good!

Baby news: Baby Amy Jo has been VERY ACTIVE this week. I feel her more and more every week! I have the glucose screen and get my first rhogram shot next tuesday. That will also be my last monthly appointment as in May I will start going every other week. Can't believe the 3rd tri is just around the corner!

Rant: We have an 18 yo intern at work who has a cough and insists on hacking all over everything without covering her mouth. I have spoken to her about it 2x because a) I work with the elderly who are more susceptible to cold germs and b) I'm PG. She said to me today, "What does it matter to you? You touched my computer so you're going to get sick anyway." I said, "Don't be a wise ass. It's common courtesy to cover your mouth. Plus, I am looking out for the health of the residents and my child and me!" I figure it's good mom practice. Also, I learned that she was born the same year I graduated HS... that's a first for me. She's on my temporary "list" right now.

Rave: So happy it's Friday. I am already planning out my alone-time evening with some Netflix and ice cream.

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have? Great question (as always!) I also loved to read and draw! I really loved riding my bike, climbing trees, and being in nature too. I grew up on a farm(ish) so there were always places to hide outdoors! I really liked anything active and solitary. I am a fairly extroverted person, but prefer to socialize in chunks peppered by a few hours of solitude. I also loved playing video games (and still do!) and playing with my friends and cousins. 
I hope my LO gets the reading bug and I think she will because DH and I are big readers. I also want her to have a lot of time out in nature learning about plants and bugs and feeling the sun and breeze. I want to teach her how to ride a bike and paddle a canoe/kayak. DH and I really want to travel a lot with our little bean too.

redheadbride15

@CarrieandRoy yay for viability!
@lillebowski23 good for you for telling that girl off

As for me:

How far along are you? 31w3d

How you doin- symptoms/cravings/aversions? Physically, I feel good. Emotionally, I'm a wreck. I've been SO level-headed most of this pregnancy, with the exception of some pre-appointment anxiety. But recently I've been overwhelmed by anxiety. My H has a history of mental health problems (anxiety, depression) but I never have. Now I'm panicking about DH not doing well with the baby, and the baby "inheriting" those problems, or that he'll have autism or some other problem, and that I'll be the one forced to hold the family together emotionally. I need to talk through this with DH, and we probably need to have some therapy sessions about it, but I'm terrified. It's all hypothetical, of course - H is doing extremely well, his symptoms are under control with medication, and he has given me no reason to believe he can't handle this. It's just feeling real... only 8 weeks left until we're parents, and I suddenly feel so unprepared. And despite the fact that I'm a doctor I realize that I am still profoundly uncomfortable talking about mental illness. The stigma is so very, very real. I've been sleeping poorly and I need to talk to DH about this asap so we can make a plan about what to do before I completely fall apart and I'm dreading the conversation because I almost never handle these things well. Sorry for the long rant. I just really needed to get that off my chest.

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) I have a routine appointment next week.

Rants/Raves/Questions: see above...

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have? I was a free-ranging country kid. I played in the mud, collected bugs, climbed trees, climbed mountains, and took naps in fields full of wildflowers. I got dirty always and I got injured occasionally, but was left with a sense of adventure, confidence, and insatiable curiosity about the world.

lillebowski23

@redheadbride15
Anxiety sucks. My heart goes out to you because I have literally felt very similar about some of the things that you mentioned. Do you and DH have a family therapist? I assume that if he is being treated he must be seeing someone, could they be a resource for you? Especially as a mediator. Hang in there! We're here for your venting and ranting!!!

lickastick

@redheadbride15 I'm so sorry you feel the weight of all of that on your shoulders, that must be so hard to feel it all so intensely. I hope sharing it here helps you begin the journey to find what you need in the next couple of weeks to cope.

Maybe just for today and tonight as you gather up what you need to get started is there anything you can do to get better sleep tonight? It might be the aches and pains of pregnancy/full bladder ect keeping your sleep poor, but would a epsom salt bath help? The magnesium helps to anchor and calm the nervous system according to chinese medicine and a bath before bed sometimes helps me sleep better. I know I always have better coping mechanisms after I have slept well and after many sleepless nights I start to fall apart emotionally.

Keep talking about it and we are here for you! I bet when I get farther along and I am not so concerned with the viability of the pregnancy I will be flipping out! I have to imagine that we all will feel at least some anxiety as we get close to the end. 

redheadbride15

Thanks ladies. I feel better getting it off my chest. I also feel better when I'm with DH because he's in a good place right now so he's able to calm me down and make me realize I'm freaking out over something that's purely hypothetical. We just chatted at bit over lunch and he was his usual cheerful charming self. We have discussed this topic a lot, both by ourselves and with a therapist. We don't have a therapist right now - DH had great one but she retired a while ago and he hasn't found a new one. He needs a better psychiatrist too. I absolutely HATE the guy he sees right now. I went to a session with him once and he blatantly insulted me to my face. It was so unprofessional I wanted to get up and walk out right then and there. He also seemed to completely lack the knowledge about psychopharmacology that I would have assumed he would need to do his job well. I don't trust him at all and I've made that very clear. The sad truth is that finding quality mental health providers is extraordinarily difficult, and we haven't made it a priority because DH has been doing very well. But I also know I have a tendency to just want to sweep this issue under the rug rather than deal with it, and I recognize that that's unhealthy.

Anyway, I am glad it's the weekend. We're going to visit my parents and have lots of fun activities planned to distract me. DH and I are also teaching ourselves mindfulness meditation (anyone have experience with this?) and hoping that will be helpful for both of us. I love the idea of a nice warm bath too @createillumination. I often do that when I feel like crap. And I booked us couples massages for next week (yay!).

Wyattnash00

@redheadbride15, what your feeling at the moment is sooooo normal. From what we know of you, your scientist mind doesn't likely get too emotional as you always deal with the facts.  But you're very close to having a new baby, I think that's emotional no matter who you are. You'll never be fully prepared, deep breaths for sure, do you make lists or write things down? Like your DH, I have anxiety which led to a full blown breakdown in my early 20's. I've seen many therapists, one I loved, was on medication, Tried acupuncture (it helped), depression runs in my family as well. I haven't had issues with depression in years but my anxiety is always underlying. You and your husband sound like you have a great relationship and can talk about anything, and I'm glad he calmed you down. I find therapists and psychiatrists are very much like dating, just keep searching until you find the right one. 

carrieandr

@redheadbride15 Pregnancy has caused a lot of side-effects that surprised me, but anxiety definitely isn't one of them. We are doing something huge and life-changing and there are so many unknowns. (Mine include: Will I be super-uncomfortable and want to cry in the third trimester? Will labor & delivery be a horrific experience? Will sleep deprivation and caring for someone 24/7 make me an awful, miserable person? Will my relationship with my husband suffer? Will I ever be comfortable with my body after this? etc, etc, etc) These are all valid things to freak out about, and when you add pregnancy hormones into the mix, it's like the perfect storm.

One comforting thought is that you are completely normal to feel this way right now. I'm dealing with it myself, but I'll try to give helpful advice anyway. I'll just tell you what I need to hear. The anxiety will pass. If you ever need help, ask for it. And you can handle more than you realize. Also, from what I understand, there will be plenty of wonderful moments coming that will make the anxiety-ridden ones worthwhile.

Wyattnash00

30+4

im doing good, back still feels good.  On day 10 of this 'clean eating,' need to do 2 weeks for this glucose test.  I think I'll be having a cheat meal tomorrow as all my numbers have been below where they need to be. But this has given me a strong glimpse into those with diabetes, Such a hard disease. 


Appt in 2 weeks with a surprise US, psyched to see baby girl again. Shits starting to get real, will schedule CS at this appt, and this girl has defnitley grown muscles as her kicks and punches hurt.  I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but my son is a pretty chill kid with a very even keeled personality, pretty easy baby. I'm absolutely terrified of what this girl will be, I don't do well with high maintenance. 


My mom mom was a single mom, so we would come home from school and play outside until it was dark with all the neighborhood kids.  I hate that kids don't have that kind of freedom anymore. I feel like it gave me independence, stretched my imagination, started a love for the outdoors. I also loved to bake when I was little....and watch soap operas, I think my babysitter is guilty of letting me watch them;) I want to start to cook with my son..not there yet, but I think kids will try more when they're involved. And of course want my kids to love the outdoors. Wyatt gets cranky when he's cooped up too long, and loves our little hikes, makes me so happy!

Sporty1216

First, let me just say how much I love you guys. I know we don't really know each other, but I feel like we do all the same. I'm so glad that this is such a safe place where we can all be vulnerable and get such good support.

@redheadbride15 I am so glad that you and your DH were able to talk a bit. I hope that your continued conversations about this also go well. It is so hard NOT to be anxious when such a big life change is happening and there is really no way to be absolutely prepared. It's the unknown--and complicated by the fact that it's not just an unknown task, but an unknown *person* who you'll be dealing with who will have his own personality, etc. But that is also what is so absolutely thrilling and rewarding.  I'll echo what @CarrieandRoy said--you are stronger than you know. You'll be amazed at how you rise to the occasion and handle all sorts of things that seem impossible.  I'll also echo her suggestion to ask for help when you need it. I SUCK at that and the reality that I need to work on that when number 2 shows up is becoming increasingly real. I imagine a lot of us take pride in being "capable" people. We have a lot of life experiences, we've done a lot of things, we're good at things.  Remember to be kind to yourself--now and after baby is born--and to allow people to step in and fill the gaps. It's tough, but it's worth it.

@lillebowski23 way to tell that girl a thing or two. definitely good mom practice.

@carrieandroy  I am excited for you for reaching 24 weeks! I have in my head a mental count down to viability for my babe. Just 6 weeks and change to go.

How far along are you?  17w 4d

How you doin- symptoms/cravings/aversions? Pretty darn good still! I am pretty sure I am feeling intermittent movement, but I definitely felt more with my LO. I'm so glad I know I have an anterior placenta, because otherwise I'd probably be flipping out. As it is, I feel surprisingly calm, for which I am grateful.

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) Anatomy scan two weeks from Monday. Can't wait!

Rants/Raves/Questions: @lillebowski23 -- you are a woman after my own heart! DH has a "guys' night out" tonight (which is really a night in--he's just going to a friend's house and they're grilling out), and I AM SO EXCITED! this morning he was like "don't forget! I've got my thing tonight." And I said to myself, "Don't you worry! I've been looking forward to a night on my own all week!" Haha.  I love him and I love spending time with him, but time on my own is much needed as well. I can't wait to catch up on American Idol (I'm waaaay) behind, and to figure out when Call the Midwife starts up again. Seriously. I am so excited. Hulu, me, the couch, and hopefully some ice cream once LO goes to bed. Woot, woot!

OH! and I had a super fun conversation with a former student this afternoon. Conversations like that--hearing about a student's passions, what they're doing to pursue them, etc. is seriously what keep me going. I'm on a total teacher high.  Haha.

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have? I was a huge reader (still am when I can find the time) and spent a lot of time reading to myself, reading to my brother, reading to my dolls, etc. when I was a kid. I really hope LO 1 and 2 both love to read. I also spent a lot of time outside riding bikes, stomping in puddles, selling random stuff on the corner (snails being the most unusual), climbing trees, etc. I really want my kids to be able to do stuff like that too. I love that LO loves to be outside--and to get dirty! If he's got dirt under his nails, I figure I'm doing a good job.

redheadbride15

You guys are amazing. I find great comfort in your words. Thanks so much

It's totally true that I'm a very logical, scientific, level-headed person 99% of the time so that 1% of the time when I get thrown out of whack is really, really hard for me. I need to be less hard on myself for being a human being with emotions. And I definitely need to learn how to ask for help (MUCH easier said than done!)

lickastick

How far along are you? 18weeks

How you doin- symptoms/cravings/aversions?
The insomnia finally got better when I kicked the cat out of the bedroom, and I have had a glorious 6 nights of full sleep! I have had crazy all day cramping at times this week and have been really really tired, so I hope that means LO is going through a growth spurt. 
cravings- give me all the oranges and citrus fruit! And all the pizza/cheese!
aversions- all the smells! why, why, is there an unnecessary amount of artificial fragrance/perfume in this world? 

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?)
I finally got a full report on the integrated prenatal screening and all of my risk assessments were very very low. Yipee! I can finally put that behind me, and I wouldn't let my DH tell all the people until we had those results so he'll be happy he can tell now. 
I have my anatomy scan on the 19th! I have my last doctors appointment next week and I will move into midwife only care unless I become high risk. 

Rants/Raves/Questions:
Rant: I went to the eye doctor today to update my reading px and I sat waiting for this guy (new dr. for me) for 50min while he talked to some sales rep. I waited about 25 min in the waiting room (where I saw the sales rep introduce herself) then another 25 in the exam room while the guy was nowhere to be found. I full on left and will not be back. It is one of my biggest pet peeves to be kept waiting. I totally understand running 15-20min behind and on the craziest of bad days 30min behind, but 50min is absolutely unacceptable in my mind. I am a care provider and I have had some very complex, difficult patients and I have never kept anyone waiting for longer than 15min!

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have?

We entertained ourselves at the expense of our siblings in my house. Once my sister and I spread yogurt all over the kitchen floor to create a "skating rink." I dressed my little brother up in princess outfits more times then is good for a little boy. We also convinced him to eat baking chocolate (completely unsweetened) on about 5 different occasions. My dad was really big into computers early on (like 1980's) so we had all of the old school "gaming systems." We spent hours on the atari and old school nintendo. We also had a pretty cool back yard where we did slip and slide and had a trampoline on which we caused a lot of mischief (think dish soap plus garden hose on the trampoline.) We did a lot of wandering around our neighborhood and hanging out with the kids on the block.

I'm not sure what experiences I hope my LO gets to have because growing up in california will be so different than growing up in Utah like I did. Maybe just that mischief that only siblings can get into together, if we are so lucky to have a 2nd someday. 

redheadbride15

Well I don't mean to take over the whole check-in thread but I just wanted to update you all. It turns out my wife's intuition was correct - H and I had a long chat and it turns out he's been struggling recently. So we're going to go back on the higher dose of medication and call the doctor Monday. I keep hoping this is going to get better and eventually go away, but I guess that's naive. I'm feeling sad, but I know we're doing the right thing. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight though.

Sporty1216

Ah, @redheadbride15   I'm sorry you were right but I am SO glad you sensed it and acted on what you were feeling. Especially as you enter the final weeks of your pregnancy, it's so good that you can get this addressed and hopefully help your DH get tk a better place prior to baby's arrival. It's awesome that he is so willing to do what needs to be done too. That in and of itself seems really encouraging--both for now and for after baby arrives. I hope you get good sleep tonight and that he (and you) experience improvement soon. 

Wyattnash00

So happy you talked to your husband @redheadbride15, just shows how awesome communication is, and will always need to be. So happy to hear how receptive and open he is. Get some rest momma, tomorrow is a new day.

MollySm

@redheadbride15 - I know it's hard to hear that your H is struggling (mime has been too recently), but it is great that you brought it up, and that you are both ready to do what needs to be done.  I'm sorry that you both have to struggle though.  I hope you get some sleep tonight.  

celestialmaven

Hi Everyone! This is my first time posting on this board. Didn't see a place for introductions, so very quickly I'm 40 and this is my 2nd child. My husband and I have been married 5 years, and this is his 3rd child. Finding out about the pregnancy was a surprise I got on my daughter's 19th birthday, and I haven't stopped being excited since the shock wore off. 

How far along are you? 20 weeks - halfway!

How you doin- symptoms/cravings/aversions? Still craving strawberries. There are lots of berry farms in my area, so I hope that lasts! Still tired a lot, and having leg cramps. 

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) Just switched from an ob to a midwife last week. Upcoming ultrasound.

Rants/Raves/Questions: As a mental health professional with a history of mood challenges, myself, I'm so glad to see everyone talking about this here. It can be difficult to discuss, largely because social stigma has made mental health issues seem so... not part of the human experience in some way. That's really not the case, of course, and I'm glad to see folks fighting through those barriers to address the things that are on your minds. 

Not sure how many of you have questions about this, but as someone who has had mood problems in the past, I worry about post-partum depression sometimes. Does anyone have any tips on how to avoid this?

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have? Reading, making up songs, and climbing trees. I'm hoping that my little one will love all of those things. What's more, I hope that she gets a chance to be more a part of the cycles of nature - planting and growing things. My poor mom did not have a green thumb, and I didn't have my first real garden until I was 34.

redheadbride15

@celestialmaven Welcome and congratulations! And thanks for your confirming words about mental health. I agree that we all need to talk about it more. Also, I'm going to be asking the best ways to talk to children about it, as I know for my family this is going to be an important topic in the future.

Sporty1216

Welcome, @celestialmaven! We're glad to have you here! 

MollySm

How far along are you? 7w 6d

How you doin? Tired but happy.

Baby news:  I posted this in the last check-in, but pretty late in the week.  Short recap : I went in at 6w 2d and saw an empty sac.  My one miscarriage was a blighted ovum, so I was sure I was done, and so sad.  Went in this Wednesday at 7w 2d and there was a perfect little heartbeat, and baby was measuring a week ahead.  :-) I'm on cloud 9!

Rave: I'm just so happy that things seem to be going well after my scare last week.  

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have? I loved to read and to be outside.  My 2 kids both love being read to, and my oldest (who turned 4 in February) is already reading chapter books on her own.  I hope this baby continues that tradition.  H and I both grew up in small towns, and we are finding raising our kids to be outdoorsy in a city is more tricky than we expected.  We do have a backyard, and try to do things outside as a family.  It was actually my new years resolution to do more outside with the family this year.  

BernieRae

@redheadbride15 I'm so glad you brought this up and I'm hoping you're starting to feel a bit less anxious after all of this great support and talking with your H. My H has lived with the same struggles for years. We generally don't discuss it even though we've had discussions (on our own and once with his therapist) about how we should be openly discussing it. I too am very uncomfortable with bringing it up and he admits that he doesn't bring it up because he doesn't want to burden me (even though I tell him again and again to please talk to me). Even though you also struggle with talking about it, have you found any lead-ins/questions/etc that seem to work well? I worry too about these disorders being inherited and how his depression will affect our kid. And even though I know better I do think I have the tendency to try to "suck it up" and "keep it together" because I don't like the thought of us both struggling. 

@celestialmaven -Welcome! And thanks so much for jumping right in! I'm glad you brought up post partum depression. Knowing that my tendency is to not ask for help, I think I really need to bring this up with H and my family &f friends now. I need to ask them to check in with me often because while I don't tend to volunteer info, I will open up when asked. Hey, maybe my husband and I are very much alike. I should talk to him soon...

BernieRae

How far along are you? 15 weeks 5 days 

How you doin- symptoms/cravings/aversions?
Nothing really which feels strange. I'm really looking forward to being able to feel the baby move so I know things are ok. 

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) OB appt tomorrow. 

Rants/Raves/Questions: I was pretty set on not really working next school year aside from occasionally subbing or maybe teaching a 2 hour after school class once a week next spring. Last night at a work event a teacher that I really respect brought up the idea of me teaching a 2 morning a week class with her (roughly 10 hours a week). She said she wouldn't mind at all me being gone at the start of the year and even was open to me assisting rather than co-teaching. I'm getting excited about this possibility and think it would be a nice balance. H is going to check to see if he can arrange his schedule to get one of the days off a week since he works four 10 hour shifts a week that can fall Sun-Sat. This would only leave one day of childcare to figure out. Ideally I would do a childcare swap with another part time working or SAHM. Not sure what we'll decide on, but it's nice to think about. Truth is I'm a bit worried about staying home full time. I definitely don't want to work full time in the first year, but I'm worried about feeling isolated if I'm home every day. Anyone else planning an extended leave from work and feeling the same? 

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have? 

I loved playing with figurines/dolls and making up stories about them. My sister and I would play Barbies and spend the majority of the time setting up their homes (we had furniture, but no playhouse) and decided what the story would be. When I was a bit older (5th grade) my dad built me a dollhouse and I started to collect miniature furniture and accessories. The kind that you'd find in a hobby shop rather than a toy store. I only played with it for a couple of years, but still have all of it stored in the basement of an friend's mom back home. 

While I played outside a lot as a kid, we didn't do any hiking or camping (other than Girl Scouts). H is big into the outdoors and grew up fishing and camping. The two of us hike somewhat regularly now. This kid will definitely do some hiking and camping. H is also a sports fan. Neither of my parents were into sports. I like to think that our daughter might enjoy sports a bit more than I did. 

Sporty1216

@BernieRae--That work situation sounds ideal! I would have loved to do something like that. As it is, I managed it so that I am only away from home two days a week, for about 10 hours. The downside for me is that I have to figure out ways to get the rest of my work done from home. But that 10 hours is nice. And we ended up having a family friend come and watch LO here in the house while I was away. If you could figure out a swap and get your DH to stay home one day, that would be great. 

This time around, I have managed to (I think) arrange it so I can work entirely from home beginning in January and I'm pretty relieved about that. Finding unconventional childcare for one kiddo wasn't bad, but for two, I think it might have been tougher.  Then, the following September, I'll go back to my two days a week in the office.

Anyway. I hope you find a solution that is a happy one for you!

carrieandr

@BernieRae I work for myself from home, so my concern is about not being alone enough! My mom will be here helping, plus there's the baby, of course. I'm really going to miss having the day to myself!

celestialmaven

redheadbride15 I think that's a great idea. Talking to children about these things can be very helpful for them, not only in terms of helping them understand what's going on with their parents, but also in normalizing emotional experiences that our society tends to treat as extraordinary or even shameful. 

celestialmaven

@BernieRae Those are great ideas! I especially love the idea of having family and friends check in. Historically, I know I can be the same in terms of not wanting to reach out. I currently see a therapist as it's my opinion that this is one of the best ways for a mental health professional to prevent burnout and other things. The nice thing is, having someone I regularly see means that she's there to help me identify signs that things might be taking a turn. Having people watching out for us is comforting  

@redheadbride15 I almost forgot to mention that it might be worthwhile to check in with a counselor who works primarily with children to ask about age appropriate ways to discuss mental health with kids.

Mamafesto

@redheadbride15, glad you got the conversation about depression/anxiety started and hope you and your DH are on the road to more open communication about it! So glad you got such great support on this board, too!

I have suffered from depression/anxiety on and off for a number of years and while I've gotten more comfortable talking about it, it is still such a taboo topic. I actually did suffer from ppd after my son was born. For me, lack of sleep/insomnia is a trigger for my depression and I had a very colicky LO which resulted in little to no sleep in the early months. Thankfully, because I have dealt with depression in the past, I was able to recognize it and knew I needed to get help. However, even though it is very common, there is still a stigma around ppd, and I definitely felt some pressure to act like having a new baby was all rainbows and puppy dogs. This time around I am working on a plan with my midwives, which may include an SSRI prescription (compatble with breastfeeding) towards the end of this pregnancy. The stress and sleep deprivation (not to mention the hormones) of new motherhood are definitely no joke, and I think you all are very wise to start thinking about this and having a plan for check ins.

Welcome, @celestialmaven, glad to have you as part of the conversation!

Mamafesto

How far along are you? 20 weeks

How you doin- symptoms/cravings/aversions? feeling well other than a sore throat that crept up on me this weekend. Hoping it doesn't turn into something nasty as I have a busy week ahead.

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) Regular midwife appointment on Tuesday. They checked my cervical length at my A/S scan because of pre-term labor with my DS and it was 3.4 which is totally normal. Now I have to decide with the midwife whether to go back for a follow up check to see if it's shortening or just let it go since it looks fine and I was late pre-term with DS.

Rants/Raves/Questions: My rant is that i am packing on the pounds right now. I know it'll be fine b/c this exact thing happened with DS during my 2nd tri and then I plateaued in my 3rd tri and gained 31 lbs which is perfectly healthy. But it still feels a bit icky to be gaining 2lbs in a week on some weeks...

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have? I played outside a lot, too. Road bikes, roller skated with the kids on the block, made up routines on the swing set, helped my mom in the garden, etc. I was a big reader as well and my DS is already a book fanatic. I am hoping #2 is also a reader and an outdoors lover. We have 5.5 acres and a trail system out our back door to ski/snowshoe/hike on, and we try to be good about getting out on the trail as a family. DS loves nothing more than to be out there collecting sticks, rocks, leaves, etc. Looking forward to adding another hiker to the fam.

lickastick

@Mamafesto I'm starting to gain all the weight too! But...my midwife told me in a healthy pregnancy she'd like to see a 10-15lb gain from weeks 20-28. She found that it correlates with healthier labor outcomes and lower incidences of pre-eclampsia. This is the time when blood volume doubles so a fair amout of weight is blood/placenta/baby. I was really surprised by this as I had never heard anyone else talk about it this way. 

Sporty1216

That's really interesting, @createillumination !

carrieandr

That's nice to hear, @createillumination. My dr recommended a pound a week for me through the 2nd and 3rd trimester, but it seemed odd that it would be spread so evenly. And I've started creeping over my goal weight.  Hopefully your midwife is right!

carrieandr

P.S. I've read that weight can level out or decrease in the last month, but at my childbirth class the instructor warned us to watch what we eat in the third trimester because you can gain a lot. I'm not sure which to believe!

emsmama15

I gained a LOT in my first tri - EEK - but it's leveling off now.  With my first, I gained most of my weight in the second trimester.  I DID gain 8 pounds of fluid in my final week (actually 3 days - freaked me out a bit, but my OB wasn't concerned because my urine was fine) but that came off quickly.    It's such a mind game.  This time around, I'm trying not to freak out about my weight - even though I've already surpassed my total weight gain form last time.  

How far along are you?  20 weeks tomorrow!!

How you doin- symptoms/cravings/aversions?  I worked 3 ten hour days in a row in the unit and we were BUSY.  I think I may have been having Braxton Hicks contractions last night.  I felt icky, so I had some water and laid down in bed.  My abdomen was pretty hard, but not painful, just kind of tightened up.  I don't know.  I never had contractions with my first since I had a scheduled c-section, so I don't know what they feel like - Braxton Hicks or otherwise.  I'm fine today, but my pelvic issues are flaring - probably due to the three days of work and not wearing my support belt today (I needed a break).  

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?)  I have an endocrinology appointment this week.  Other than that - OB in two weeks.  Oh, and I'm seeing a chiropractor on Wednesday - hoping she can help my hips, pelvis, and back.  I'm a mess!!

Rants/Raves/Questions:  See above, I guess that was kind of a rant/question.    

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have?   Much like everyone else, I loved to read - must be our generation!  I was the youngest of 7, but most of the kids were out of the house, so I was like an only child.  I used my imagination a lot - playing with dolls, had an imaginary friend, playing with cars.  I'd make up elaborate stories for the characters I was playing with.    So fun.  I hope my kids can be imaginative and creative in this technological world.  I was SO happy, my daughter didn't ask for any TV until AFTER her nap this afternoon.  We did art, played with toys, went outside and ran around.  No time for Paw Patrol or Doc McStuffins!  

carrieandr

@emsmama15 my stomach varies from soft to hard throughout the day, but when I contract it looks vacuum sealed and there is usually a funny baby lump a little off center. It doesn't hurt. I've read that Braxton Hicks don't feel like regular contractions.

Sporty1216

Yeah--I think I've been having some BH too. They just make my uterus feel hard and my OB said it wasn't anything to worry about unless they started to come in a regular pattern or were painful--which would mean they were real contractions. The contractions i had with my son were definitely different. They were pitocin-induced so they were incredibly intense, but I imagine even natural ones would feel like them. There was certainly pain associated and they felt kind of like waves rolling in, tightening, and then releasing. I don't know if that helps or not, but it's the best way I can think to describe it. They definitely felt like a more "whole body" affair than these BH ones (if that's what I have been having). 

redheadbride15

@BernieRae Thanks for sharing your story too. I wish I had solid advice or specific words that I use to talking to my DH about his depression. I wish I could pretend that this issue is easy for us as a couple, but it simply isn't. Talking openly about mental health without any hard feelings is, by far, our number one challenge and struggle as a couple. I've known this since our first date (I'm well-trained as a health professional to pick up on subtle signs of mental illness). It almost ended our relationship on several occasions. Every time the issue comes up it sends me into a funk for at least a week, where I cry a lot and can't sleep. It's worse this time because I'm pregnant. I have not gotten a solid night's sleep in a week. I've felt every rage of emotion, and vacillate wildly between denial and acceptance. This morning I woke up suddenly feeling so angry that I had to do everything in my power to stop myself from throwing something or breaking something. Not surprisingly, my reactions make him feel guilty and less willing to talk openly about it. His desire to sweep this under the rug is as strong as mine is. However, even though it's extremely difficult and painful for me I always know it's best to be honest, and I'm very slowly getting better at handling these conversations. It's definitely a work in progress. I am imperfect.

This time I just said flat out to him "Can we spend a few minutes talking about your mental health? How do you think you're doing recently?" and then I listened. Fortunately when asked flat-out he is always honest with me, so I know this works. I have to prepare to hold myself back from reacting immediately, because that reaction is almost always counterproductive - anger, defensiveness, anxiety, sadness. So I simply said "I'm glad you shared this with me" and I explained that I needed some time for myself to reflect. We've been talking about it on-and-off all weekend. I have to be extremely calculated in what I say to him, which is probably one reason why I don't sleep well because I'm mulling over in my head the exact words that I'm going to use to express myself. I've written entire books in my head the past few nights. When things aren't going well it's a matter of prioritizing and tackling one issue at a time. First - what are we going to do to help you feel better right now? Second - how are we going to help you find a better psychiatrist? (his current one is the reason why I wanted to break something this morning - it's a long story). Third - how are we going to talk more openly about this in the future? And then, only when we're both feeling well - How can we both work on rejecting the stigma associated with this disease? And ultimately, the topics I'm dreading - How is this going to affect our parenting style and how should we eventually talk to our son about your depression?

redheadbride15

Re: weight gain. Mine's been totally weird! I gained nothing 1st trimester into the beginning of 2nd, then very gradual gain starting around 16 weeks followed by a HUGE gain between weeks 24-28, and now nothing again in the past few weeks (if anything I've lost 1-2 pounds). It's definitely a stepwise gain, not a linear process. I'm using the Ovia pregnancy app and they have a "zone" for recommended weight gain which just gradually increases over the course of the pregnancy. I've accepted that it's a wild oversimplification - I seem to always be either over or under the goal. I just eat when I'm hungry and trust that my body is doing whatever it needs to be doing.

sportiegrl1213

How far along are you? 12 weeks today! I see the second trimester on the horizon! 

How you doin- symptoms/cravings/aversions? I'm feeling great! Finally! The horrendous nausea has finally subsided and I can really start enjoying my pregnancy. My cheeseburger craving has gone away but I still want my bagel with cream cheese every morning. Oh and Yodal's... my niece bought me a box and it takes all of me not to devour more than 1 a day. I'm shocked I lost 5 lbs and haven't gained with the way I was eating the past 2 months. Now that I'm feeling better I'm actually loving salads again and fruit. So back to eating healthier as possible. And hopefully tomorrow I'll be back in the gym!! It's been a long 2 months not being in there! I miss it and I need my motivation back!! I lost over 50 lbs before I got pregnant, I want to gain as little as possible. My dr said I shouldn't gain more than 25lbs. So that's my goal. 

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) Today we have the NT scan and Maternit21 blood work. Very excited to see our little peanut again today. Hopefully we will finally be able to hear the heartbeat. We've only seen it both times. But as long as it's there that's all I care about! 

Rants/Raves/Questions: We made our announcement yesterday and the out pouring love and support for our family and friends was amazing!! We are so lucky to have such wonderful people in our lives! 

GTKY: How did you entertain yourself as a kid? Are there any experiences you hope your LO's get to have? I was huge into Lego's, drawing and sports. I could sit and build things all day, and I LOVED to draw, but I also loved being outside shooting hoops, or having a catch and riding bikes with my friends. I loved my childhood. I'm hoping for the same with our little All-Star. Just want him/her to be active and creative. 

lillebowski23

@BernieRae I am planning to leave my job right before baby comes and what was once something I felt so certain about is now something I worry about. Am I making the right decision? I am going to miss m coworkers. How difficult will it be to find another job? What if.... what if... what if? So many feelings it's overwhelming sometimes. Ultimately, i know it is the right decision deep down and I think that I am also dreading having the conversation with my boss. If I flat out hated my job this would be a lot easier.

@redheadbride thank you for sharing your story with us. Having struggled with depression and anxiety before I can honestly say that it is so important to have a dialogue but indeed very challenging.

As for weight gain... i was 165 when I got pregnant I am about 210 now. I definitely feel the extra weight in a big way especially now thhat the wee one is kicking up a storm. I am trying not to worry about the weight as far as number goes but it is disheartening when I see it on the scale. 

Glow360

I'm 15 weeks, craved bubble gum ice cream last week which is odd because The last time I had it was age 10. Did first tri genetic testing, so far no abnormalities and I'm having a girl!