TTC After a Loss
briannef90
member
Here's my story *TW*
briannef90
member
Hello ladies. I'm still pretty new to The Bump, and have been mostly posting in the miscarriage/loss board. I figured I'd jump over here to since we are still TTC.
So here it goes...
My husband and I decided in October that we wanted to try and have a baby, and on the first try I ended up pregnant. We both were so excited and were so surprised that on our very first try I got pregnant. However, from the moment I say the words PREGNANT on my test, I just had a nagging feeling that I wasn't going to be able to hold that baby in my arms. I had no reason to believe that I would have a mc since I had tons of pregnancy symptoms, but I just knew. So when I went to my first appointment I was expecting the worst. I didn't get bad news, but I didn't get good news either. I was supposed to be 8 weeks, but was only measuring 5W1D with no fetal pole. The midwife told me that I probably just ovulated later, so I took that as a glimmer of hope. I voiced my concern about my fear of miscarriage to her and just burst into tears right there. She tried to comfort me by asking me if I wanted blood draws done. I said yes, but when she came back the dr said that she didn't think it was necessary. I wish I would have been able to have the blood draws, because I would have known that I was losing my baby instead of finding out at my second appointment. I was supposed to be 8 weeks again after my "late ovulation". I'll never forget when the tech looked at me and said, "I'm usually able to see something by now. We'll try it vaginally, but I'm sorry to say that this is more than likely a miscarriage". I kept it together for the most part, but started crying minutes later. I was taken into a room for another blood draw, and for a NP to come in and talk to me. I don't even remember what she said to me. It was the worst day of my life. I ended up drinking a ton and crying hysterically that night about how it wasn't fair and how I couldn't believe this had happened to me. Almost 4 months later it's still hard, but we decided to try again.
So we tried again, and once again I found out I was pregnant just last week. The lines were faint so of course I was worried, but tried to stay positive. Sadly, yesterday I started bleeding and had another miscarriage. a "chemical pregnancy", but calling it something different doesn't make it any less painful.
I'm feeling so hopeless and I feel like there is something wrong. I'm 25, and DH is 27. I could stand to lose some weight, but other than that I have no other health problems. I'm active, I eat healthy and feel good. I'm just so scared of what is going to happen next time. We will start trying again after I get a normal period, but I am terrified of going through this again. I'm hoping to find some support from a community of women that knows what I'm going through. I feel lost and betrayed by my body and I just need to be with people who know the pain.
TLDR; I'm 25, I've had 1 miscarriage at 8 weeks with fetus measuring 6W1D, and a chemical at 4W5D. I'm scared, lost, confused and need some support and also want to give support to others.
I'm so sorry for all of your losses and I hope we all get our rainbow babies very very soon.
So here it goes...
My husband and I decided in October that we wanted to try and have a baby, and on the first try I ended up pregnant. We both were so excited and were so surprised that on our very first try I got pregnant. However, from the moment I say the words PREGNANT on my test, I just had a nagging feeling that I wasn't going to be able to hold that baby in my arms. I had no reason to believe that I would have a mc since I had tons of pregnancy symptoms, but I just knew. So when I went to my first appointment I was expecting the worst. I didn't get bad news, but I didn't get good news either. I was supposed to be 8 weeks, but was only measuring 5W1D with no fetal pole. The midwife told me that I probably just ovulated later, so I took that as a glimmer of hope. I voiced my concern about my fear of miscarriage to her and just burst into tears right there. She tried to comfort me by asking me if I wanted blood draws done. I said yes, but when she came back the dr said that she didn't think it was necessary. I wish I would have been able to have the blood draws, because I would have known that I was losing my baby instead of finding out at my second appointment. I was supposed to be 8 weeks again after my "late ovulation". I'll never forget when the tech looked at me and said, "I'm usually able to see something by now. We'll try it vaginally, but I'm sorry to say that this is more than likely a miscarriage". I kept it together for the most part, but started crying minutes later. I was taken into a room for another blood draw, and for a NP to come in and talk to me. I don't even remember what she said to me. It was the worst day of my life. I ended up drinking a ton and crying hysterically that night about how it wasn't fair and how I couldn't believe this had happened to me. Almost 4 months later it's still hard, but we decided to try again.
So we tried again, and once again I found out I was pregnant just last week. The lines were faint so of course I was worried, but tried to stay positive. Sadly, yesterday I started bleeding and had another miscarriage. a "chemical pregnancy", but calling it something different doesn't make it any less painful.
I'm feeling so hopeless and I feel like there is something wrong. I'm 25, and DH is 27. I could stand to lose some weight, but other than that I have no other health problems. I'm active, I eat healthy and feel good. I'm just so scared of what is going to happen next time. We will start trying again after I get a normal period, but I am terrified of going through this again. I'm hoping to find some support from a community of women that knows what I'm going through. I feel lost and betrayed by my body and I just need to be with people who know the pain.
TLDR; I'm 25, I've had 1 miscarriage at 8 weeks with fetus measuring 6W1D, and a chemical at 4W5D. I'm scared, lost, confused and need some support and also want to give support to others.
I'm so sorry for all of your losses and I hope we all get our rainbow babies very very soon.
Re: Here's my story *TW*
Back in November I had a MC at 6w4d and just recently had a chemical at 5w2d. I know what you're going through and I'm so, so sorry.
Be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to do to grieve your losses. Hopefully you'll get your rainbow baby soon.
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Im so sorry for your losses. This board is definitely supportive and understanding.
DD1 born 5/24/10.
Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.
DD2 born 5/14/13.
Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
TTC 09/15
*TW Loss mentioned*
BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
TTCAL 3/2016
Acupuncture 11/16
Dx December 2016: unexplained
January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby!
EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17
Ambrose born on his due date!
Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013
2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages
TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016
2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN
Donor Egg IVF Transfer: May 1, 2017
May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714
EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL!
E. L. A. born 12/7/2017
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
#BitterHagPartyOf1
I I hear you on the age. I'm 26. My husband is 27. We are young and healthy, and I can't figure out why this is happening either.
Many prayers for you. I pray your rainbow is on its way.