My doctor lied to me (huge rant, long, loss mentioned)

PauPau77

Hi all. I mostly lurk on this page but since I'm beyond frustrated and upset and sad and all other emotions you can think of I decided to post this. Maybe I can find someone who went through something similiar or maybe I can help someone who is going through/will go through this and know they are not alone.

Anyway...after a year of really trying for a baby (and 2+ years of not really trying but not being careful either) my husband and I decided to go to a fertility doctor. After months of tests we finally go through our iui and miraculously become pregnant on our first try. That didn't last too long as I devolped a subchorionic hematoma and the clot overtook the baby and we lost it (I hate using the term "it" but being I was 8 or 9 weeks along we didn't know the sex). This was the worst thing I ever had to go through.

After the DNC the fetus was tested and was found to have no genetic abnormatilities. Because of this we decided the have a large fibroid I had removed because it had grown in the short time I was pregnant. After the surgery we found out there were 4 or 5 fibroids in there and the doctor removed them all. He said I can go on to have a normal pregnancy and birth. We waited 3 months for me to heal and started all over again. After 3 months of iui and nothing happened we spoke about IVF, which I am covered for 2 in a lifetime but he chargs other "lab fees" and would end up costing me $11,200 out of pocket ($2,700 for the first egg retrieval, $3,500 for the second and $5,000 for genetic testing). We decided to keep going with iui because we don't have $11,200. The last 2 iuis were just crazy. I now understood how the process worked and I felt like I knew more than the doctors. As an example, at an appointment at 8 am the doctor said she was not sure if I should take the HCG shot and needed to look at the results of the blood test. She had a nurse call at 2 in the afternoon and was like "you have to take it right now and come in tomorrow at 7 for the iui". When I saw another doctor in the morning (they rotated doctors in this place) he was shocked that I took it so late.

In this time I got a letter from my insurance saying my doctor is no longer covered so I made an appointment for a different doctor who is closer and takes my insurance. It turns out that the insurance company made a mistake but we decided that because of the screw ups and because of the distance we will switch doctors. When we had our first appointment with the new doctor he was telling me things that the last doctor did not. One being that I have high blood pressure we should not be trying to have multiple eggs dropping because multiples can be distarous for me because pregnancy usually causes blood pressure problems. He also saw that I had my fibroids removed and asked if my original doctor said that I needed a c-section because that is usually what is needed after that surgery. I said he never said anything and the doctor asked for the surgery report, which I had sent over.

And here's where the rant starts - my new doctor just called me and said I would need a c-section because the fibroids were in my muscle and if I try to have a vaginal birth I could rupture and die along with the child I am trying to deliver. Second, I have endometrosis (which I was never told) and according to the surgery report the doctor cleared out my fallpoian tubes which had scarring but I was never told about this either. And my new doctor wants to have an x-ray done to see if I am really clear (which, in my mind, should have also been done after the surgery). Why didn't my old doctor tell me any of this? I know mistakes were made at times when I was there but knowing that he could have KILLED me by not telling me what was going on is crazy! I feel like with all that is going on and my age (I am 38, will be 39 in July) I will probably not be able to have a child. Was this other doctor just going to keep me going getting more and more depressed and frustrated by the month? The only sliver of hope I have right now is the new doctor is willing to keep going until I get the x-rays done and we can see what is going on in my fallopian tubes (he said it can take 2-4 weeks to get approval and we should go through a cycle while waiting for it).

And, just to add insult to injury, my due date was yesterday so this whole week has been a big mess of me just crying for no reason and now I hear that I have more issues than I thought and I might have to resign myself to the fact that I will not be able to have a child. UGH. 

vssbrm

@paupau77 I'm so sorry to had to go through all of that. Prayers and Fx that everything ends up working out for you and you DH.

maggiemitchell0607

Hi @PauPau77.  I am so sorry you are dealing with this right now in general, and especially during the week of your due date.  I can't imagine what you are going through this week.  Taking care of yourself this week is so important I would think.  Taking a bath (if you love them like me), getting lost in a show, eating ice cream, doing yoga, taking a walk outside, hugging DH, writing in your journal...taking it super easy...

About the endometriosis- I started fertility treatments this month and I was told that I have an endometrioma at my first ultrasound appointment.  Now every time the dr. is all up in there for my ultrasounds I have this big scary endometroima staring in my face and taking up my whole left ovary.  I don't know what it means and my Dr. is like Mr. Optimist with us and says that he "suspects scarring to hinder the follies" but nothing else.  I never knew I had endometriosis!  It is truly frightening thing to think about and I feel totally uninformed and in the dark.    

I am sorry your Dr. was not honest with you!  I wish these Dr's would just tell us what is going on!  

PauPau77

Thank you for the replies. And the dishonesty was the biggest problem I had with the original doctor since the beginning. When I was pregnant they had me taking lovenox for a clotting issue but I was never told I actually had a clotting issue, I figured since it was a small dose it was just a precaution. Even when I directly asked a doctor I was never given an answer. It was only after my miscarriage my main doctor told me that I have 2 separate things that could be a clotting issue.

@maggiemitchell0607 this is a "no diet" week. Going in I knew it would be a hard one so I decided I'm not going to worry too much about what I eat. And I've been reading about endometriosis and its not always an issue, so good thoughts your way! And I hear you about being in the dark. As much as the truth might hurt its always better to know what is going on.

mamma1614

I can't stand the entire healthcare system, they have the dumbest people working there and the shadiest. This story makes me so mad on your behalf, how could they make a mistake like that?? They get away with way too many things, and the insurance company's are the most rediculous.

If you fight with the company that bills for that test you might get it covered. I actually got a bill in the mail, I think it was $3,500 for genetic testing, my DH called and was like, ummm what is this? Why are we getting a bill? And they said oh, your actually supposed to pay just $90 but it said that nowhere on the bill. So if you don't know not to pay it, then they'll take the larger sum happily. It's soooo shady. I just boil up over these #^%#$@$!:(!/@;$ers. I know its hard & hope this is just a small bump on the road and you wind up pregnant soon after.
I understand your feelings completely! 

oxinfree

I'm so so saddened to read your story. Absolutely appalling that your situation was handled that way. You have every right to be upset. Scary that you could have ended up in a disastrous birth situation had you not switched doctors. I'm certain this has left you shaken and jaded. Try your best to keep any sliver of hope alive that you can. I hope you can make your dream of a family a reality. My heart goes out to you right now! xx

BecauseLove

Hugs to you! What a frusterating situation...I am glad your. Ow with a dr you can trust and that has your wellbeing in mind!