Weekly check-in February 21

mindaa

How was your week (or two)?

Sorry for the long absence, I got a bit thrwon off by the long weekend.

QOTW- since it's still Valentine's month... What are your favorite ways/tips to make time for your marriage/relationship?

supersarah77

I'll go first! The last couple weeks have been pretty bananas with sick kids and clearing schedules to get healthy. Finally we're coming out of the fog, which feels great. I'm looking forward to rejoining activities and work this week. I also just introduced a transitional object to DS for the first time at nap time today. He was fussy and as soon as I gave it to him he snuggled and fell asleep. Why didn't I do it sooner?! Hahaha

QOTW: Babysitter for a regular date night. That has been the best thing because then we remember how fun it is to be just us. 

marijaa333

@supersarah77  nicely done! what's the transitional object? and how did it become one?

Our week has been good. Baby is finally sleeping longer stretches, at least occasionally.  Last night he slept for eight hours, and then another three. 

I'm feeling a bit emotional about starting to wean. I can't wait to be able to sleep without interruption but I am going to miss the time with my son. I plan to wean around 12 months but want to do it slowly, and he's already reduced his milk consumption slightly so it's been on my mind.

QOTW: We meet for lunch once a week or so, and we hang out together every night after the baby goes to bed. So far so good!

jerseygirl227

Hi everyone!  

Been an okay week.  Baby isn't sleeping as well as usual, and, when that happens, everything else is harder.  My parents come in to visit in a week so they'll be watching Chloe while I'm at work.  That should make things easier since I won't have to get her up and it will save us money.  Trying to get the house all clean for their visit, but it's really tough with work and everything else that's going on.

QOTW: We really are bad about this.  We went to a wedding on Saturday and had my sister watch the baby.  Unless it is a special occasion, we just take her along.  I know we need to plan better so we make our relationship a priority.

mindaa

@supersarah77 - yes, I have the same question about the transitional object! LO hasn't really been interested, and I'm not sure if I just need to keep trying different things. Glad the family is feeling better.

@marijaa333 - Lunch dates! Thank you, that's good idea that might work out for us. DH spends a couple days home with LO, so he crams a lot of work into evenings. We've been pretty bad about making time just for us. The home daycare we go to actually offers occasional evenings at a great price, but so far the dates haven't worked out with our schedule.Glad baby is sleeping better! But totally understand the emotions of weaning.

@jerseygirl227 - what's the update on daycare, is Chloe still staying with your friend, or have you found something more permanent? So great that she'll get some good quality time with your parents!

We went camping for the President's day weekend and it was our first trip since LO moved to his own room. Sharing our small camper really messed up his sleep Big bummer, as it was great to get out and travel a bit. Our next trip is in March and we'll be at a hotel... so hopefully a little easier. DH spent some time trying to find a place with larger rooms. (without having to splurge on a suite, since prices are already jacked up for spring break).
LO is getting super active! Crawling and cruising along furniture. Is fun, but getting pretty stressful - he's already launched himself off the bed (and now gets put in the PnP, instead -lesson learned!). Time to finish installing all the babyproofing stuff that's still sitting in boxes.

KateLouise

Hey everyone, our couple of weeks have been good. My eldest is back at school after our summer break, DH is working out of town 3 nights a weeks, and we've changed our 4 yr olds hours to 3 days a week, which is essentially free because it's funded here, and saving us $500 a month. So we're all settling into a new routine, which seems to be working. One way I'm making it work is just throwing clutter away, because it's so much quicker to keep the house tidy with less stuff.

QOTW: Something about this question has got me thinking. There's something about, "making your relationship a priority" that is irritating me. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with spending time with your partner, and if people want to go out on weekly dates then I think that's great. I suppose there's just something about the pressure that is put on people to find couple time, and me time, and family time.

Maybe it's that it's swung from, "it's OK to have time as a couple away from children and to want and make that time" to, "you're a bad spouse and your marriage will fail in a horrible heap if you don't make the effort to have weekly date nights."

Anyway that's my rant,perhaps it's a guilty conscience because DH and I don't have a lot of "dates" but we do have time together once the kids are in bed. We also find those little moments to have an extra snuggle. We also prioritise each other when we're in the middle of a conversation and the kids are trying to interrupt. 

mindaa

^^ Totally good points - I agree that the pressure to make time doesn't really help anyone relax and enjoy the moment - plus it has to be about quality as much as quantity. I've read research saying that one of the most important habits in marriage is "turning in" or engaging - exactly the behaviors you listed, like giving your spouse priority attention over other distractions. 
I guess I'm just finding that when we do get a chunk of time it seems like it goes one of two ways, either it takes a while for us to warm up and conversation to really get going, or the opposite, where it's like a dam burst of emotions I've been holding in for a while. 

supersarah77

@mindaa and @marijaa333 the transitional object is just a stuffed dog head with a little furry blanket square attached. DD has a similar bunny one. With both of them I just threw it in the crib one day and that's where it lives, to snuggle with as desired, and to associate with sleep. DS latched onto it more quickly than DD but he is more snuggly in general. Even so, DD grew very attached to hers within a few weeks. The only time bunny leaves her bed is when we travel, and it helps her sleep away from home. 

Further comment on the QOTW, I guess we all just need to find our own balance. With so many competing priorities and roles as mom, partner, professional, individual... I can lose sight of some of those and become overly immersed in another and just feel less happy because I'm out of balance. I do tend to get immersed in Mom role the deepest of all, yet it brings me great joy to take a break from that role and just be a giddy couple in love and out on the town. So ya, that is an area I need to be mindful of putting my attention. When my partner and I are working well - not just household logistics wise but romantically - everything in our lives seem to work better. @marijaa333 - I love the lunch idea, too!