hormones after fertility treatments

Shepperd2

I am asking for my sister's behalf.  She and my BIL have undergone treatments with no success and the determination that she is more than likely to NOT be successful in getting pregnant.  they stopped treatments in...October, i think.  Her hormones are very erratic and is sadly causing a huge rift in their marriage.  They are hosting a foreign exchange student this year, and its adding to their stress, too.  He has suggested birth control, just to try to settle her body back out, and she hasn't, (or doesn't want to be on BC) and Im trying to help them find alternatives  to help her balance back out.  I apologize if this is not the right area to post this discussion, please guide me to another board if this is not wanted here.  THANK YOU!

Shepperd2

oh, i forgot to mention, her fertility medicine was Fermara. 

KidShrink

I'd wonder how much of this is hormones vs emotional reaction to the news...? I was on Femara for 4 treatment cycles, and it certainly had no impact during the break (3 months or so) between the 3rd and 4th cycle. Acupuncture may help, but I'd wonder why she's been told it's unlikely to happen after a few cycles of Femara (which is typically only used with TI and IUI, therefore leaving IVF out). Did they choose not to go through IVF? Are there financial or other reasons not to? 

riveridgional

I agree with the previous poster. More likely, her response seems to be a response to the news, not after-effects of Femera. The emotional toll and burden that comes with infertility is indescribable and no one can know what it feels like unless they have been there. It also makes you feel very, very lonely.

 There are multiple options after Femera depending on her diagnosis, so I, too, am wondering why further treatments aren't available to her. Also, if one spouse isn't ready to stop trying or further treatments and the other wants to keep going, that can certainly cause some issues in their relationship.

I think your sister is mourning the loss of an assumed future and the loss of the child(ren)  and experiences with them she thought she'd have. Infertility is very difficult in many ways and can impact multiple relationships. I would recommend your sister look into therapy with someone who specializes in infertility. Her fertility specialist should be able to refer her to someone. She needs someone to talk to who can understand her struggle and provide useful comments/tips/advice on how to cope (versus unintentionally hurtful - I'm sure she's getting lots of these) . She can do this by herself or with her husband. I personally haven't done it, but multiple women on this board have said it proved very helpful and valuable. 

She also needs to know you are there for her to listen and make her struggle less lonely. You can't say anything to help her, but you can be there to hold her hand, listen to her venting, and be a shoulder to cry on as she processes her emotions.  It touches my heart you are asking for advice on here to help your sister. Not very many women struggling on here have such a caring support system. You're a great sister! 

Shepperd2

Makes sense.  I know that finances are part of it.  She's been struggling with passing her nursing boards for awhile now (even before the treatments) and i can definitely see that this news is hard for her. . She has a daughter from a previous relationship but always wanted one with her husband.  They had put it off till after nursing school and then. .. 

Im acting as a sounding board for him so i will mention your thoughts on it.  Thank you! 

Shepperd2

Thank you.