Officially desperate for sleep

ers213

DS is 8 weeks old/3 weeks adjusted and has reflux. I sleep when DH gets home for about 2 hours every night but that's the only sleep I'm consistenly getting and the exhaustion is really taking a toll.  DS will only sleep for more than 45 minutes if he's being held. To make matters worse I'm eping, so I have to pump every 3 hours. I don't want to cosleep or leave him in a swing because I'm terrified of SIDS (he's got a lot of the risk factors - preemie, male, born in the winter) but he won't sleep in his bassinet or crib for very long (even before the reflux started). Everyone says sleep when the baby sleeps but if the baby will only sleep in my arms, what can I do?  I'm open to any suggestions at this point. 

kdoak2015

Cosleep safely, place a heating pad wherever the baby is sleeping first then remove it, I slept with DD on my chest for 7 weeks and yes a bit scary but I would tuck the blanket in no alcohol etc. do your research on safe cosleeping.

taysun

I was very against bed sharing but it's what works for us at this point as DD is a tummy sleeper and doesn't much care to be put down so my chest is the best option right now. 
It can be done safely- no alcohol no smoking arranging or removing blankets. Research safe bed sharing. 
Your other option could be a rock n play, it has a slight incline. Talk to your pedi about using an incline to help with the reflux. 

SmrBrd2012

I'd recommend the RnP like PP.it was a lifesaver.

sharonholck28

I agree with the rock in play. My LO wouldn't sleep in the crib and i was dying. Put her in that and it was amazing. She will sleep anywhere from 2-6 hours now. I was a little nervous to let her sleep in the swing but some nights she won't take the rock in play and the swing has been a lifesaver as well. Now she's slept in it enough where I don't worry. 

I also bought a levana/snuza breathing monitor that helped a lot in the beginning. If they stop breathing for more then I think 10-15 sec an alarm goes off to alert you. You clip it to their diaper and it lays against their stomach. 

eliseandbaby

I know.. EXACTLY how you feel. The sleep deprivation is taking its toll. I also need suggestions because this isn't healthy to never sleep!!

Bigboobsmcgee

SmrBrd2012 said:

I'd recommend the RnP like PP.it was a lifesaver.

This.

pupsicle23

Lurking on this board,  but I also want to give my support for the Rock n Play.  My DD was a champ at sleeping in her crib until very recently when her reflux got bad. She is suddenly much more needy and, if we put her in her crib, she will gurgle, scream, and spit up right away,  then continue to gurgle, hiccup, etc. My pediatrician said to just let her sleep in the rnp. She said that as long as she's buckled in and I'm next to her, DD should be just fine. 

ETA that when DD was still doing well in her crib,  her longest sleep stretch was 4 hours. The past two nights,  she's slept 7 hours straight in the rnp. 

ers213

A friend of mine is bringing me her son's RnP this weekend so hopefully that works. Thank you all for the suggestion! 

NurseRieger

The RnP worked great for my LO. He outgrew it at 11 weeks because he is very long and he started wanting to move around more at night so I got a Graco Dreamglider. It's bigger and has an adjustable incline so that worked great from 11 weeks to 5 months. Having trouble now with him staying asleep in the crib and teething and now we are going to just cosleep. I was dead set against it but desperate times desperate measures. He's nearly 5 1/2 months so I'm not as worried about suffocation risks 

contourhands

I never thought I'd be a "co-sleeper".... Didn't  do it with my 1st but this time around I've got my little guy between my dh and I in a boopy/ pillow thing and I can easily pop his binky in without getting up.... And it's easier to sleep.... I also feel less scared of SIDS this time around because  he is right there for me to check on throughout the night....I guess this is a long way of saying there are safe ways to cosleep and it is helpful for moms who are tired  

LIly436

I figured that my daughter wakes up because she is cold. Now I wrap her in warm blanket and she sleeps much better

Bigboobsmcgee

LIly436 said:

I figured that my daughter wakes up because she is cold. Now I wrap her in warm blanket and she sleeps much better

Is your LO swaddled? I'm sure you know this but blankets aren't safe for sleep until babies are closer to a year old.

LIly436

Co-sleeping is not safe either. We were also told that fat free diet is the way to go, which is totally different now

Bigboobsmcgee

LIly436 said:

Co-sleeping is not safe either. We were also told that fat free diet is the way to go, which is totally different now

Sure it is. There are safe ways to co-sleep. I'm just saying that blankets can smother a baby, especially one that is young and not capable of pulling the blanket away if they were to become tangled in it.

Just trying to help.

LIly436

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

Bigboobsmcgee

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

Hmm, okey dokey.

NurseRieger

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

I don't know what you mean by warm but the SIDS prevention guidelines are to keep baby in thinner clothing and keep the room between 68-72 degrees. A lot of people think of that as too cold and over bundle babies or keep the room too warm. And FYI in countries where bedsharing is the norm there are some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world. It's all about preventing suffocation and rebreathing. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping until recently myself and my LO is 5 months.

LIly436

NurseRieger said:

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

I don't know what you mean by warm but the SIDS prevention guidelines are to keep baby in thinner clothing and keep the room between 68-72 degrees. A lot of people think of that as too cold and over bundle babies or keep the room too warm. And FYI in countries where bedsharing is the norm there are some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world. It's all about preventing suffocation and rebreathing. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping until recently myself and my LO is 5 months.

Guidelines don't have to feed woken up frozen baby every 15-30 minutes.
Bedsharing is OK if mom is a light sleeper and is fairly slim.
Are you sure that statistics in those bedsharing countries is accurate? They might just not report those deaths to make it look better then it actually is

NurseRieger

LIly436 said:

NurseRieger said:

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

I don't know what you mean by warm but the SIDS prevention guidelines are to keep baby in thinner clothing and keep the room between 68-72 degrees. A lot of people think of that as too cold and over bundle babies or keep the room too warm. And FYI in countries where bedsharing is the norm there are some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world. It's all about preventing suffocation and rebreathing. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping until recently myself and my LO is 5 months.

Guidelines don't have to feed woken up frozen baby every 15-30 minutes.
Bedsharing is OK if mom is a light sleeper and is fairly slim.
Are you sure that statistics in those bedsharing countries is accurate? They might just not report those deaths to make it look better then it actually is

I don't have the time to visit Asia and the South Pacific Islands to fact check infant mortality statistics. I'm just going to have to trust the published pediatricians like Dr Brazelton, Dr Sears, etc. As I said I don't know what you mean by "warm" nor do I know how cold a "frozen baby" is to you. If you're in Alaska and I'm in Florida we have different opinions of warm and cold. I'm just saying what the recommendation of room temp is. That's on cdc.gov not a personal opinion of mine.

Ceridwen77

LIly436 said:

NurseRieger said:

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

I don't know what you mean by warm but the SIDS prevention guidelines are to keep baby in thinner clothing and keep the room between 68-72 degrees. A lot of people think of that as too cold and over bundle babies or keep the room too warm. And FYI in countries where bedsharing is the norm there are some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world. It's all about preventing suffocation and rebreathing. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping until recently myself and my LO is 5 months.

Guidelines don't have to feed woken up frozen baby every 15-30 minutes.

Wut?


No seriously, I am legitimately confused as to what that sentence means. The advice given about about overdressing a baby is accurate and helpful.  It's an antiquated belief that LO needs to be super warm to be comfortable (my littles ones grandmothers constantly comment on this). 

Bigboobsmcgee

LIly436 said:

NurseRieger said:

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

I don't know what you mean by warm but the SIDS prevention guidelines are to keep baby in thinner clothing and keep the room between 68-72 degrees. A lot of people think of that as too cold and over bundle babies or keep the room too warm. And FYI in countries where bedsharing is the norm there are some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world. It's all about preventing suffocation and rebreathing. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping until recently myself and my LO is 5 months.

Guidelines don't have to feed woken up frozen baby every 15-30 minutes.
Bedsharing is OK if mom is a light sleeper and is fairly slim.
Are you sure that statistics in those bedsharing countries is accurate? They might just not report those deaths to make it look better then it actually is

Mom has to be SKINNY in order to bed share safely!! You are cracking me up now. Wow. Are you reading what you are typing before pressing "post reply"?!

LIly436

Bigboobsmcgee said:

LIly436 said:

NurseRieger said:

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

I don't know what you mean by warm but the SIDS prevention guidelines are to keep baby in thinner clothing and keep the room between 68-72 degrees. A lot of people think of that as too cold and over bundle babies or keep the room too warm. And FYI in countries where bedsharing is the norm there are some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world. It's all about preventing suffocation and rebreathing. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping until recently myself and my LO is 5 months.

Guidelines don't have to feed woken up frozen baby every 15-30 minutes.
Bedsharing is OK if mom is a light sleeper and is fairly slim.
Are you sure that statistics in those bedsharing countries is accurate? They might just not report those deaths to make it look better then it actually is

Mom has to be SKINNY in order to bed share safely!! You are cracking me up now. Wow. Are you reading what you are typing before pressing "post reply"?!

Are you blind? I wrote fairly slim, which is far from skinny. And yes, it is a lot more difficult to watch your body if you are fat and yes babies are suffocated more often by overweight mothers

Stephanieshort2

ers213  Have you tried pulling the crib mattress out onto the floor? Once when my baby was sick, I made a small cot next to his mattress so I could sleep next to him on the floor. I was able to prop his head/shoulders up with my arm just enough to help his reflux, but still get him used to sleeping in his own bed. We were both able to get a few hours of good quality sleep and lessen the risk of SIDS. Also, I never had to worry about transitioning him from a RnP to crib later on so that saved me some grief.

Fast forward to 12 weeks of age... he will sleep the first stretch of the night (6-9 hours) in his crib, then we bed-share for the rest of the night. I've read plenty of case studies that discuss the benefits and risks of co-sleeping/bed-sharing, and I am confident with my decision as a parent. At the end of the day, you have to do what YOU feel most comfortable with!

Bigboobsmcgee

LIly436 said:

Bigboobsmcgee said:

LIly436 said:

NurseRieger said:

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

I don't know what you mean by warm but the SIDS prevention guidelines are to keep baby in thinner clothing and keep the room between 68-72 degrees. A lot of people think of that as too cold and over bundle babies or keep the room too warm. And FYI in countries where bedsharing is the norm there are some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world. It's all about preventing suffocation and rebreathing. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping until recently myself and my LO is 5 months.

Guidelines don't have to feed woken up frozen baby every 15-30 minutes.
Bedsharing is OK if mom is a light sleeper and is fairly slim.
Are you sure that statistics in those bedsharing countries is accurate? They might just not report those deaths to make it look better then it actually is

Mom has to be SKINNY in order to bed share safely!! You are cracking me up now. Wow. Are you reading what you are typing before pressing "post reply"?!

Are you blind? I wrote fairly slim, which is far from skinny. And yes, it is a lot more difficult to watch your body if you are fat and yes babies are suffocated more often by overweight mothers

No but you must be blind because most of your statements make zero sense.

Sarcasm101

LIly436 said:

Bigboobsmcgee said:

LIly436 said:

NurseRieger said:

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

I don't know what you mean by warm but the SIDS prevention guidelines are to keep baby in thinner clothing and keep the room between 68-72 degrees. A lot of people think of that as too cold and over bundle babies or keep the room too warm. And FYI in countries where bedsharing is the norm there are some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world. It's all about preventing suffocation and rebreathing. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping until recently myself and my LO is 5 months.

Guidelines don't have to feed woken up frozen baby every 15-30 minutes.
Bedsharing is OK if mom is a light sleeper and is fairly slim.
Are you sure that statistics in those bedsharing countries is accurate? They might just not report those deaths to make it look better then it actually is

Mom has to be SKINNY in order to bed share safely!! You are cracking me up now. Wow. Are you reading what you are typing before pressing "post reply"?!

Are you blind? I wrote fairly slim, which is far from skinny. And yes, it is a lot more difficult to watch your body if you are fat and yes babies are suffocated more often by overweight mothers

Do you have any reports or studies to back up your fat shaming?

NurseRieger

Omg this is outta control lmao! From what I have read on SIDS prevention (which is a lot) obesity is a risk when bedsharing, you don't have to be slim just shouldn't be obese. And it's not because they don't know where their bodies go(which is rediculous) or because a baby will get trapped in a fat roll! Sleep apnea is very common among obese people and when a person has sleep apnea they have pauses in their breathing which puts them in a deeper state of sleep until they gasp and kinda wake up. They also have a tendency to thrash around when their oxygen level is dipping. Most people with this are clueless. Trust me I'm a night shift ICU nurse and I've watched these people sleep. The most important thing is that baby shouldn't be in bed with someone who is reaching an unnatural deep state of sleep like someone drunk, on sleeping pills, recently sedated, etc. It's not like on family guy when Lois and Stewie have gotten trapped under Peter's fat!

helsbels222

NurseRieger said:

Omg this is outta control lmao! From what I have read on SIDS prevention (which is a lot) obesity is a risk when bedsharing, you don't have to be slim just shouldn't be obese. And it's not because they don't know where their bodies go(which is rediculous) or because a baby will get trapped in a fat roll! Sleep apnea is very common among obese people and when a person has sleep apnea they have pauses in their breathing which puts them in a deeper state of sleep until they gasp and kinda wake up. They also have a tendency to thrash around when their oxygen level is dipping. Most people with this are clueless. Trust me I'm a night shift ICU nurse and I've watched these people sleep. The most important thing is that baby shouldn't be in bed with someone who is reaching an unnatural deep state of sleep like someone drunk, on sleeping pills, recently sedated, etc. It's not like on family guy when Lois and Stewie have gotten trapped under Peter's fat!

Bwahahahahahaha!! This made my day!

smileybabyboy

To help with reflux, what about propping up the head of the crib mattress a little. This is recommended when LO has a cold. 

LIly436

Sarcasm101 said:

LIly436 said:

Bigboobsmcgee said:

LIly436 said:

NurseRieger said:

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

I don't know what you mean by warm but the SIDS prevention guidelines are to keep baby in thinner clothing and keep the room between 68-72 degrees. A lot of people think of that as too cold and over bundle babies or keep the room too warm. And FYI in countries where bedsharing is the norm there are some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world. It's all about preventing suffocation and rebreathing. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping until recently myself and my LO is 5 months.

Guidelines don't have to feed woken up frozen baby every 15-30 minutes.
Bedsharing is OK if mom is a light sleeper and is fairly slim.
Are you sure that statistics in those bedsharing countries is accurate? They might just not report those deaths to make it look better then it actually is

Mom has to be SKINNY in order to bed share safely!! You are cracking me up now. Wow. Are you reading what you are typing before pressing "post reply"?!

Are you blind? I wrote fairly slim, which is far from skinny. And yes, it is a lot more difficult to watch your body if you are fat and yes babies are suffocated more often by overweight mothers

Do you have any reports or studies to back up your fat shaming?

Where did you find fat shaming? I did not write a single word. If you are so ashamed of your shape it is not my problem

LIly436

Bigboobsmcgee said:

LIly436 said:

Bigboobsmcgee said:

LIly436 said:

NurseRieger said:

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

I don't know what you mean by warm but the SIDS prevention guidelines are to keep baby in thinner clothing and keep the room between 68-72 degrees. A lot of people think of that as too cold and over bundle babies or keep the room too warm. And FYI in countries where bedsharing is the norm there are some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world. It's all about preventing suffocation and rebreathing. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping until recently myself and my LO is 5 months.

Guidelines don't have to feed woken up frozen baby every 15-30 minutes.
Bedsharing is OK if mom is a light sleeper and is fairly slim.
Are you sure that statistics in those bedsharing countries is accurate? They might just not report those deaths to make it look better then it actually is

Mom has to be SKINNY in order to bed share safely!! You are cracking me up now. Wow. Are you reading what you are typing before pressing "post reply"?!

Are you blind? I wrote fairly slim, which is far from skinny. And yes, it is a lot more difficult to watch your body if you are fat and yes babies are suffocated more often by overweight mothers

No but you must be blind because most of your statements make zero sense.

Your inability to understand, does not mean my statement does not make sense 

Bigboobsmcgee

LIly436 said:

Sarcasm101 said:

LIly436 said:

Bigboobsmcgee said:

LIly436 said:

NurseRieger said:

LIly436 said:

The main advise is to keep baby warm and how mom is going to do it is up to her common sense. I keep baby swaddled in a thick blanket with her arms free

I don't know what you mean by warm but the SIDS prevention guidelines are to keep baby in thinner clothing and keep the room between 68-72 degrees. A lot of people think of that as too cold and over bundle babies or keep the room too warm. And FYI in countries where bedsharing is the norm there are some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world. It's all about preventing suffocation and rebreathing. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping until recently myself and my LO is 5 months.

Guidelines don't have to feed woken up frozen baby every 15-30 minutes.
Bedsharing is OK if mom is a light sleeper and is fairly slim.
Are you sure that statistics in those bedsharing countries is accurate? They might just not report those deaths to make it look better then it actually is

Mom has to be SKINNY in order to bed share safely!! You are cracking me up now. Wow. Are you reading what you are typing before pressing "post reply"?!

Are you blind? I wrote fairly slim, which is far from skinny. And yes, it is a lot more difficult to watch your body if you are fat and yes babies are suffocated more often by overweight mothers

Do you have any reports or studies to back up your fat shaming?

Where did you find fat shaming? I did not write a single word. If you are so ashamed of your shape it is not my problem

You're just being unpleasant. You should probably stop.