Carrying loss for 6 weeks?

kayham12

Two days ago I started bleeding, a normal period flow, I was supposed to be 15+3 weeks so I knew something was wrong. I was able to get an ultrasound yesterday and confirm that my baby had stopped developing at 8+5. Of course we are devestated. I was told by the very rude receptionist that I would be getting a call later that afternoon to schedule my D&C, but I didn't. Im going to call this morning but they don't open for 4 more hours. I can't believe that I have been carrying a loss for over 6 weeks with no symptoms until now. I missed my 12 week appointment because of some things that came up at work or I would have known sooner. I'm glad I missed it because I would have been by myself. The bleeding was concerning for both of us so DH was with me for the ultrasound that confirmed our loss. I'm just ready to get the D&C over with so I can truly begin to heal physically and emotionally and I'm frustrated it's not even scheduled.

alanna3622

@kayham12 I am so sorry this happened! And to have your confusion on top of everything else that you are dealing with. I wish there was something more I could say. Maybe someone else here has the words.

How long ago it was that the baby passed away may not necessarily be the same date that the baby stopped developing. A lot of chromosomal disorders feature slow growth as a part of the disorder.

I hope that you can get some answers, if that is something that you want. If so, be sure to ask for testing of the tissue.

Also, many women find comfort in reclaiming the remains of their baby. Many hospitals arrange for the burial or cremation of babies who have been miscarried -- the nurses may or may not be aware, but you can ask for a consultation with a grief counsellor or similar person. This person is usually a social worker affiliated with the hospital thst is a liaison for things like this.

I am so very sorry for what has happened an what you are going through.

AL_TwinCities

@kayham12 I am so sorry for your loss, and that your clinic hasn't been very kind or helpful in scheduling the D&C. I just went through a MMC that ended naturally at 12+1, (baby died at 8 weeks, we found out at 9+4). It took 3 weeks for me, but I also had acupuncture and was taking herbs to help kickstart the miscarriage. On this forum I have read of other situations like yours where the baby is carried for 5-6 weeks and the body just never seems to process the loss. I hope you can get your appointment scheduled soon and that it brings you some peace. It was heartbreaking for me to carry my baby so long after I knew she had died. Hugs to you and your SO.

ThePax89

I'm so sorry.
My practice is flaky with call-backs and DH told me to call and say "I'll hold" rather than waiting for a call back.

They need to tell you when your d&c is scheduled. Stat.

What a tragic loss. Again. So very sorry.

BooksForMe23

Oh my goodness.  So sorry!  I hope you are able to take some time for yourself and your husband.

kayham12

The D&C is scheduled for Thursday. I wish it was sooner because I'm terrified of miscarrying at home. We took the day off of work to be together as a family. We have a 1 year old DD that truly brings joy to our life during this time. She actually has a chromosome abnormality so hearing that most missed miscarriages are due to chromosome abnormalities makes me very nervous to try again.

Aera11

@kayham12 I am so sorry for your loss.  I just had a D&C (it'll be two weeks this Thursday) and I also was terrified of miscarrying at home...mainly because I had made my mind up about the D&C and it was hard enough to wrap my mind around that, let alone the loss of my baby.  Just know that you are not alone and we're all here to help support one another during such a devastating time. I am happy you have DH & DD to lean on and to take care of you.  Sending hugs!

kayham12

I miscarried naturally last night and it was as horrible as the people on here have mentioned. I'm lucky to have a very supportive partner and there is a peace that comes with knowing that it's over.

yolandamunoz

I just found out today of my blighted ovum, stopped growing at 5w, I'm sad and terrified of miscarrying at home... I have an appointment in a week so if I haven't bled i will have a d&c. 

I hope this is they way it goes..

sorry for for your losses and happy that we can share our feelings here.
thank you for your generosity in sharing 

kayham12

@yolandamunoz I'm sorry for your loss and I hope that you will be able to get the D&C. I will say now a few days out, I'm okay with the fact that I didn't have it. My advice is to prepare yourself to miscarry naturally. Read some of the things that are posted in this forum. I would have truly panicked if I had not. I wish you the best of luck on your journey to healing from this loss. 

yolandamunoz

Thank you so much @kayham12 three days have passed since the diagnosis, 3 weeks since it stopped growing, and still no bleeding.  I sometimes feel some light cramps, and think this is starting, but nothing yet.

I have read some of the descriptions here and I really admire how brave they are to have endure such terrible experience.

Now I am putting this in the hands of God. I have until Wednesday, when I have my appointment with Obgyn.