Why am I so Insecure?

mindaa

Seriously, a woman's 30's are supposed to be a happy time of being comfortable in her own skin. And it was until becoming a FTM turned me into a mess of emotions, fear, doubt and insecurity. It's pretty ridiculous and I know DH is getting tired of my neediness. I think my New Year's resolution needs to be to focus on more positive/confident self-talk - I've got to get myself together!
Anyway, now that I wrote this, not really sure what I was looking for here... maybe just to vent.   

marijaa333

Vent-away! What are you insecure about? You seem like you have it all together from where I sit!

jerseygirl227

Right there with you, except I'm in my 40s.

Not sure what exactly you are feeling insecure about; but, I can tell you that everything makes me crazy.  I feel spread very thin right now and I don't feel like anything in my life is getting 100% of my effort.  I'm used to being a hard worker.  Now I just feel like I am not measuring up on any level.

It sucks, and I have to remind myself constantly that sometimes good enough has to be, well, good enough.  

Hang in there!  And feel free to vent more.  

marijaa333

Good enough is *great* when you're a new mom!

mindaa

@marijaa333
Haha, that's it exactly. I know it's irrational and don't really know where it's coming from!  I think it's just accumulation of the constant daily decisions like is he getting enough of the right things to eat at the right time, etc, etc. And I don't think it's just the mom relationship, but also a concern about how it's affecting my marriage.
@jerseygirl227 - Totally agree that it's exaggerated by feeling spread so thin, which is discouraging because I too have always been one to work hard and juggle multiple responsibilities  (ie. grade school, second jobs), but somehow I feel more overwhelmed now than in the past. (probably because being responsible for someone's life feels weightier than just passing a class!)

Hopefully it's just a phase of new-momhood that will pass quickly!

mthoomom

There are a lot of things about parenthood that are out of your control, and I think that leads to feelings of insecurity. I found that talking to parents of children who were younger than my own made me feel more confident, probably because I realized that I had it more together than I previously believed. 

marijaa333

@mindaa parenting is a HUGE adjustment. Sure, lots of people do it all the time but I bet not all of them are as diligent about it as you are; that diligence, plus, as you say, the fact that each decision seems to have such high stakes, is very taxing.  

Are you taking time to get adequate rest and do some things just for your own enjoyment? That may give you a different perspective and just enough distance to realize you're doing an amazing job. Would a date night help with getting some more fun back into your marriage? (I should take my own advice..... we haven't been on one in months....)