Post D&C....now what?

Aera11

I had my D&C yesterday at 11w4d. We had an ultrasound first to confirm no heartbeat before, which made me feel better to know for sure. The nurse said my beta had dropped to 36,000... How long did it take for your hcgs to get all the way down?
The procedure itself was fine and my doctor and nurses were great. I've had light cramping and spotting, but the nausea...whoa. I had a horrible reaction to the anesthesia when we got home and from 3-11pm would violently throw up on and off. I tried to drink fluids and eat crackers but couldn't keep it down. My dr would have probably sent me to the er and I honestly didn't want to go sit there for 4+ hours so my dad who is a doctor called in a nausea pill for post-anesthesia and now I've stopped puking.

I got a few hours of sleep and feel ok, mainly just empty. We are benched for 2 months....so now what? I just need to find a way to fill my mind with positive things to pass the time. I'm going to find a small memory box and fill it with a few things from this pregnancy (hpt, ultrasound, a gift from a friend) and I journaled this experience and listed happy memories of this baby's short life. I might also write a letter to this baby after we find out the sex in a few weeks and seal it in an envelope and place the box in my closet or on a shelf. Sigh, life can be so unfair

chloe97

@Aera11- I'm so so sorry for your loss. I had a D&C 6 weeks ago after a loss at 10 weeks. My number one piece of advice for you right now is to just let yourself grieve. It sounds like you are thinking about the right things and focusing on healing yourself, so that's good. I found it comforting to let my close friends in on what was going in and in return I found out that 3 of them were going through the exact same thing. I can't tell you how comforting it is to be able to talk to my friends about the after effects and my emotions and know they are going through the same thing.

I also buried myself in content- I started a couple books, binge-watched a few Netflix shows, started podcasts I'd heard about. Anything to take my mind off babies. I spent sometime researching why this happened, which was helpful, but you do have to be careful about going down that rabbit hole because you may make yourself crazy worrying about what could be wrong with you. If you are open to it, I also highly recommend talking to a therapist. A lot of women end up blaming themselves and taking on a lot of guilt, whichever counterproductive. I'm working through all this with my therapist.

I had a small setback physically, but am feeling pretty good right now and H and I are getting ready to TTC again. I'm scared to death, but we're just taking it one day at a time. It will get easier a little bit everyday.

Good luck to you!

Aera11

@chloe97 I'm so sorry for your loss. One day at a time is a good way to go.

I've told my immediate family (we had told them the good news first) and they've been very supportive. DHs family doesn't know anything because they stress me out. Five of my best friends know and they've been amazing, one went through the exact same thing as me so we've become even closer and it truly is nice to have someone who can relate. I feel lucky to have that support and I'm glad you have that too.

We had about 10 days from finding out to D&C so we binge watched two seasons of Fargo and a few others. Thank God for TV, books, movies & now coffee again

Cubslove12

chloe97 said:

I found it comforting to let my close friends in on what was going in and in return I found out that 3 of them were going through the exact same thing. I can't tell you how comforting it is to be able to talk to my friends about the after effects and my emotions and know they are going through the same thing!

I also found talking about it made it easier to deal with. Both my husbands and my own boss went through similar situations, which made it so much easier. I also found out that a fellow teacher who I'm incredibly close to, she has 2 college kids, had 4 miscarriages and it made it better to have someone that relates.


Personally I'm starting to train for my 6th 1/2 marathon. I stopped working out during my pregnancy and I'm hoping having something other than trying to get pregnant to focus on will help!

BaylieGirl

I know exactly what you're going through. I find that time is passing soooooo sllllooooowwww since my D&C two weeks ago. I just want to get my first period and know things are back on track so I can start trying again, but in the mean time I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones leaving my system or the reproductive hormones kicking back in, but I'm super cranky and feel like au have the worst PMS of my life! It makes me not want to be around anyone bc all I do is complain. This horrible winter weather we're having is making it easy for me to hibernate, eat fatty food, watch the bachelor, drink wine, and be lazy which is all I feel like doing. I know I need to start doing Yoga, being social, getting my mind off things is the way to go, but I just can't. I guess it's one day at a time.. I've rediscovered a love of cooking and tryi g out new recipes. It's so nice not feeling that morning sickness all the time so I'm embracing that and treating my DH to some Much over due home cooked meals. And A few rounds of Candy Crush here and there to pass time doesn't seem to hurt either....

Daisydoodle86

@Aera11

I'm sorry for your loss. I just recently experienced a loss back in October-- it's still so raw. It took a little over a month for my HCG levels to return to normal. I was an emotional hot mess up until recently, so I think the hormones were wreaking havoc on my system. I had no desire to get out of bed. Honestly, the only thing that helped is my DH finally agreed to let us get a dog-- for a few weeks, that the only reason I got out of bed in the morning was to feed and walk her. It made it easier having something to love and focus on. 

I love the idea of your memory box-- Makes me wish I had kept my HPT. 

Good luck and stay strong!

Daisydoodle86

@chloe97

So sorry to hear about your loss. I completely understand what you're saying about being scared to get pregnant again-- I am both anxious to get pregnant and anxious about getting pregnant too. I have to imagine that it comes with the territory. Hopefully the anxiety will go away for both of us soon!

Aera11

@BaylieGirl the emotional roller coaster is no joke.  I'm finally feeling back to myself, just a little sadder than normal but am able to keep myself together to get out of the house and live life again.  I know, the weather has been crazy cold here this past week (I shouldn't complain too much, we're lucky we haven't had a ton of snow for once), and all I want to do is eat grilled cheese and soup and watch garbage TV.  I am about to finish the Bachelor from yesterday!

@Krystinadimare I am so sorry for your loss.  No matter how long it's been, there will always be a small baby sized hole in our hearts from our loss.  Eventually the hole will get smaller but I think it will always be there, but that's okay.  It's a reminder of our baby's short, beautiful life and it will always have a place in our hearts.  A dog is a great distraction and comfort!  It's nice to have something positive to focus on.  I was thinking of taking an art class or a cooking class, just to give myself something for me and to be surrounded by people who don't know what is going on in my life.  It will force me to re-enter the social world haha

FiancB

I'm sorry for your loss and that you had a bad reaction to the anesthesia. It would probably be a good idea to get the details on what kinds of drugs were used to know for the future should you need to be put under again. Are you sure it was the anesthesia and not pain meds, if you took any?

After my D&C I didn't have blood draws but I took pregnancy tests regularly and it took me about 2 weeks to get a negative test, so under 20 miu. I'm assuming a few more to go all the way down. I got my period 22 days after the D&C, 34 days after bleeding began, but never ovulated and things are still screwy it looks like. My first period was long and heavy and now ovulation seems to be running late if it's planning on happening at all. 

My loss was early so I didn't have much to keep, other than a HPT I haven't been able to bring myself to throw out since that's the only tangible evidence I have that this ever even happened. It helps to be on boards like this and to talk to others that have gone through similar. More than anything, it takes time. Hugs. I know someone mentioned a site that will make you a teddy bear that is the same weight as the baby you lost- I think that's more for stillborns but maybe you can find something similar. I've also heard of people keeping something else that symbolizes their baby, like a glass raspberry since the baby was about that size when it passed. 

ThePax89

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had a d&c 9 days ago, and a second 2 days ago for retained tissue.

I'm waiting for my hcg to return to non pregnant. And am waiting for my period to come back. I'm also benched for 2 cycles.

My current hobbies include Pinterest. I'm looking into new crafts and recipes. Maybe some DIY projects.

Praying for the day that every song on the radio doesn't remind me of my loss and make me cry. Trying to find meaning in my sweet child's life.

Aera11

I'm sorry you're going through this too @ThePax89. Hopefully you're starting to feel better and heal. I know, I ask myself once a day, what is lesson I'm being taught for losing my baby? I'm sure some day I'll have an answer or understand, but for now I'm clueless. Take care of yourself, xo

ThePax89

@Aera11 yes. I ask myself the same thing. I just want to fast forward 5 years and know that this was all just a really crappy phase in an otherwise beautiful life.