Movin' On...

ErikaMG

After much soul-searching, late night discussions, and tears, DH and I have decided not to move forward with an IVF. The bottom line is, my gut is telling me to listen to my body. If my eggs are too old, I don't want to force my body to try to create a child. Too many risks, too much at stake. We are going to reserve our resources and emotional energy for the family we DO have, instead of the one we don't. That said, we will continue to BD for the next few months in hopes of a miracle - if our bodies can do this naturally then great (acknowledging, of course, that the odds are very much against us). If not, then we still have our amazing DS, whom we love with all our hearts.

I'm okay. Sad, even tearful sometimes. It feels like mourning, even though it's only a concept I'm missing. But I know we'll be fine. And when DS goes to kindergarten in September and we no longer have to spend $1400 on daycare/preschool every month, I'm sure it will help me feel better!!! I predict that in a year from now, we'll be taking DS on a Disney vacation and feeling very good about our decision.

Thanks to all of you for your support, your strength, and your inspiration. I will continue to check these boards occasionally to keep updated on your journeys, though I may not post much. I wish you all tons of good fortune and baby dust, and hope you all have happy endings to your stories!

love,
Erika

P.S. If anyone wants to take over the weekly update, it's up for grabs!

GK2009

Hi Erika-
I wish you all the best.  You have been such a great support system to all of us and you deserve a happy future. I understand your decision-- this is a really difficult spot.  All the best to you, your husband and son for a happy and healthy future and who knows who may come along to surprise you someday... never say never.

spfclr

I am currently in my 3rd and last injectable IUI cycle.  The next step should be IVF, but if this cycle doesn't work I think we're going to be done with treatment.  I just wanted to let you know that my daughter began Kindergarten this year and it was huge for me emotionally - most everyone I have met through her school is done having children, which is a really nice change.  It made me hopeful that this will get easier as my daughter and my peers age, and I can just appreciate what a wonderful family of 3 we have.

spfclr

Erika, I also want to throw a Disney cruise out there .  I have not been to Disney since I was a kid, but we did the Disney cruise last year and all of us had an amazing time - my daughter still talks about it all the time.  I don't even know if I want to take her to Disney anymore or just do another cruise.  Good luck!

rachlee2010

good luck at @ErikaMG I know how hard of a decision it must have been but part of me envies you.  I am not ready to give up and neither is DH but a big part of me thinks that if I stopped stressing and came to terms with being a family of 3 then maybe miraculously we would get pregnant with number 2.  Its not that I fully believe in the stop stressing and it will happen philosophy that I am SOO sick of people telling me but I do think for some people natural works better than treatments for whatever reason and sometimes I wonder if that is me.  

Anyway, Good luck, please stop by and visit and I am happy to take over the weekly check ins..Do I just make up the QOTW myself each week?? Its' just cycle status and QOTW right???

ErikaMG

Thanks @Rachlee2010. Yeah, I don't really believe in the "relax and it will happen naturally" philosophy either, ESPECIALLY at my age. So just letting myself go through the mourning process, with no expectations. Yes, cycle status and qotw, and yes you make them up. Have fun with it!

ErikaMG

@ksvend - YES! We've been talking about a Disney Cruise too! It looks amazing, and DS went nuts when we showed him how there is a giant water slide right on the ship. But first Disney World. Then maybe the next year or the year after we'll do a cruise... we'll see!

And I totally understand where you're coming from. It's a mourning process, and it's totally natural and okay to feel sad when you're letting your hope and vision of a bigger family go. But I've also found it helpful, shifting focus on the child we do have, and focusing on his current stage in life (we register him for Kindergarten next month! Woah! ) I agree that being around other parents of older kids helps too. Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck! And if you ever want to chat, please feel free to message me!

Flamingemu

I am sorry that you have to make that decision. I hope you can 'mourn' quickly and that you and your family have some great adventures ahead.