How long were you told to wait after stillbirth?

Aquarius923

Hi everyone,

I had a stillbirth at 23 weeks just 1 month ago. My daughter passed away due to incomplete cord formation. I had an uneventful vaginal delivery.

I started af yesterday so now dh and I are talking about ttc. My ob didn't give me a time frame to wait. She just told me to come in as soon as I get my bfp next time.
Emotionally, I feel ready. I worry how long it will take as my cycles are 35 days. I suffered 2 losses last year and want my rainbow baby so badly.

How long were you told to wait and why? Did you follow doctor orders?

indy_chic

I had stillbirth, full term, 3 months ago. A very traumatic delivery. My OB only advised to wait a month just for cycle monitoring. 3 months pp, i am now 5 weeks preg.

Aquarius923

I am sorry for your loss.

I am happy to hear another doctor who is okay with not waiting. All the reading I am doing us making me nervous because it says 3-6 months. I just don't know if I could handle another loss, though I know nothing is guarnteed.

LilLambie

I waited 3 months after delivering to begin ttc. I had a lot of bleeding and needed a d&c 3 weeks after. My doctor said I could begin trying as soon as I was ready, however I had read that it was a good idea to wait a little while so that your hormone and nutrient level were a bit more stable. I also needed a rubella vaccine so waited 2 months after I had that.

I am now 11 weeks pregnant, 6 months after my son's birth.

kwrightnb

I lost my daughter at 28 weeks in May , and we were told it was a complete fluke and it had no explanation. Therefore there was no 'physical' reason to wait any length of time. Although a few doctors told me 6 months is what I should wait to get my mental state back into it. But we just wanted a baby so bad that we started trying right away. My periods were about 40 days apart and completely all over the place but we somehow got a positive test by the end of summer
It IS extremely hard on my emotions , but I don't think it would be too much different if I waited the 6 months. It will be hard regardless, but just try to stay positive

Aquarius923

That's how I feel exactly, that no amount of time will completely heal me!

I had one doctor who felt I had an abruption, but my regular ob says it was secondary to my daughters death. It's so hard not knowing, but I know I will worry jo matter what. I do bbt charting so maybe I'll wait to see how this first AF plays out.

indy_chic

Aquarius923 said:

I am sorry for your loss.

I am happy to hear another doctor who is okay with not waiting. All the reading I am doing us making me nervous because it says 3-6 months. I just don't know if I could handle another loss, though I know nothing is guarnteed.

I would guess it would depend on physical and mental well being. I am sure a lot of Drs may suggest longer to ensure one is also emotionally ready.

MamaBish

I had my stillborn dd at 28 weeks, I was told to wait 3 cycles before ttc. I'm glad we waited because I felt my body return to normal and we were mentally much better off.

Aquarius923

Thank you everyone. I'll see how I feel next time AF comes arounf, which likely won't be for another 5 weeks. I'll be 2 months out and hopefully more fully healed.

Lovefor5inID

I like when docs combine their knowledge with our wishes, they wouldn't reccomend something that would put you in harms way. I don't want to wait much longer

sashaaaa

I'm very sorry for the loss of your daughter. My daughter was also born still at 23 weeks after regular delivery. I bled/had discharge for 4 weeks then got my period shortly after. We started trying on that cycle and got lucky! We also had a difficult previous loss and felt the best way to heal emotionally was to get pregnant soon rather than waiting even more time suffering for our childlessness as well as for our loss. I was given the OK physically from doctor since iron levels were healthy and period came back. We also figured if my body wasn't ready to get pregnant so soon, I wouldn't ovulate. I think the advice to wait 3 cycles after miscarriages or stillborn is starting to be older advice these days and more up to date OBs say go ahead.

Aquarius923

Thank you for the response.

I saw a different ob and he told me "to do the right thing and wait 3 months". So far I am just over 6 weeks out and I haven't ovulated yet. I will likely let this cycle end and then start trying. I'm just so broken and anxious.

westcoastfoodie

I understand how you feel. I lost my son at 21 weeks, but my dr only suggested 6 weeks, so we got busy TTC after my first normal cycle. I was so anxious too!

veetveet

I lost my son at 27 weeks.   When i went to see my ob at 6 weeks she said I could try right away.  Didn't try until about 6 months ago.... finally, just got those 2 pink lines on Friday  

Boonhilde

I lost my son at 18-20w. We were told to wait a few cycles.