Toddlers: 24 Months+

Strong-willed 2yo & a pregnant mother losing her mind....

I absolutely adore my daughter... right now, however, she and I are at our breaking point. She is incredibly strong willed - my mother claims she's the hardest 2yo of her 7 grandchildren. She is a very different child in our house vs. when we go out ... a recent zoo trip resulted in us driving home 20min after arriving because of her tantrums and hitting ... and Frozen on Ice ended with me in the bathroom crying and handing my daughter off to my sister, and she was then suddenly super happy. She knows exactly how to push my buttons - has a tantrum at the drop of the hat - does not listen when out in public - wiggles her way by screaming and kicking away from us. We're realizing what we do at home (giving options, letting her calm herself while we walk away to give her space) doesn't translate well outside of that environment but i'm struggling with figuring out how to find balance outside our home. She will not listen, she goes zero to a hundred in a snap. My husband is great with her and can usually find ways to redirect her - he's suddenly much more patient than me - but his patience is also wearing... 

I'm beginning to feel like a horrible mom and i'm seeing a side of me I don't know ... and i'm embarrassed when out with both how my child is acting and how i'm reacting. My mom assures me all moms feel this way and while being pregnant it's especially tough but i'm finding myself not wanting to take her out of the house and a completely different angry side of me is coming out (I know hormones are to blame) ... I want to enjoy experiences with her but i'm losing every bit of my patience and joy.

Any advice? 
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Re: Strong-willed 2yo & a pregnant mother losing her mind....

  • Dude, I hear you. 2 year olds are no joke!

    Even though your patience is wearing thin, the 2 key things in dealing with a tantruming, out of control kid is patience and consistency. They thrive on any kind of attention - positive or negative - and keep in mind that at this age, they cannot control their emotions. You are giving attention by raising your voice, yelling, threatening, all of that.

    I clearly remember one piece of advice I was given before I had kids: if you threaten something you BETTER follow through or your kids will know they have the upper hand. We have left many places because my older son starts freaking out. I give him a warning and if he doesn't stop, we leave. Also, I'm not afraid to put my kids in time out when we are in a store. I've done it in the aisle at Target before. Just because you are in public doesn't mean you have to stop whatever you normally do for punishments.

    Stay calm, use a stern voice and leave if you have to. Bring as little attention to the situation as possible and give yourself a break because you are pregnant and all of this is even harder than normal.

  • Thank you... You're so right - my consistency, not only patience, is wearing thin and I need to keep strong. 
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  • Lchase04 said:
    Thank you... You're so right - my consistency, not only patience, is wearing thin and I need to keep strong. 
    They see our weaknesses and run with it! Not your fault, we all lose our patience but your 2 year old will walk all over you if you do!
  • My son loves a good public tantrum. His best ever was in front of an escalator at the Mall of America. As embarrassing as it is, I.let him work his way through the tantrum. If he's in a hazardous spot, I move him somewhere safe and sit nearby not looking at him. When I sit, I tell him I'm here if he needs me. Then I do my best not to react until he's finished. Talking or looking at him makes it worse
    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Parent of Baby Boy M, born December 2013 Angels: Miscarriage @ 9 weeks, May 2015, Chemical Pregnancy November 2015



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