Feeling like a bad parent

rachlee2010

Do you ever feel like a bad parent to your child(ren) when you are overcome with grief or whatever about not having a second.  I usually am ok but do have my day(s) where I get overly upset about our situation and just want to be sad and cry.  And when this happens I feel like I am neglecting my son.  I know he is taken care of and fed etc but I just don't engage with him the way I feel like I should but at the same time I just don't have to energy to fake happiness and play with him like he deserves.  Am I alone in this? How do you deal with it?

I think my BFN on monday plus the holiday and too many pregnancy annoucements really got to me this week and I just feel like all our attempts are hoepless and we are just throwing money away.  And all I want is one more child.  It's so easy for so many people and just not fair it's so hard for others. 

Sorry for the vent

ErikaMG

::MASSIVE HUG::
I soooo feel you.
Yes, I totally have moments like this. It's all part of the journey we're on, unfortunately. I allow myself to wallow in misery for a day or so. I tell my husband how I'm feeling and ask him to double his daddy-duty for a day so I can pull myself together. He understands, and is usually fine with that. It helps to have some alone time doing something I enjoy. If I try to force myself to engage with my son when I'm in that state of mind, I end up losing patience with him very quickly and that's not good for either of us. The bottom line is, in order to be a good parent and take good care of your kid, you have to make sure you are taken care of too. Sometimes that just means taking a little time out. There's nothing wrong with that.

GK2009

Hugs to you!  This is just such a hard thing.  I feel like I have let my son see me cry way too many times.  He is such a sweet and happy boy and I feel terrible when I am sad around him... but you know what?  We are humans and we are doing our best.  Just give yourself a break and know that you are a great parent.  You are doing all you can and that is a lot.... it ain't easy trying to make your dreams come true.  Deep breath!  

1983Lindsey2

Huge hugs!!! Going through all this is hard and takes so much out of us emotionally. I believe many moms feel the way you while going through IF treatments. I know I have. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You are a great mom!

allyall10

Don't feel bad (I feel stupid writing that, it's so easier said than done). You need to take care of you too. I found out yesterday about having a second BO and just wanted to be alone and cry. I went back and forth, second to second of wanting to squeeze DS to death and then wanting to get away. I think it's natural. Know that by taking care of yourself, you are taking care of him too, just not directly.

runfast

Gosh this is me too. I adore my daughter more than anything in the entire world, but some times I just have these moments where I want to be sad and feel sorry for myself.